


Legal Blindness

by ijnt



Series: Enucleation [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Ahistorical use of war fans, BAMF Women, Body Dysphoria, Body Horror, Body Modification, Canon-Typical Violence, Excessive use of Hashirama Cells, Female Uchiha Itachi, Gen, Gore, Lots of Violence!, More Than Canon-Typical Violence, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Self-Insert, Techniques with a Healthy Side of Trauma, Torture, Trans Female Character, Uchiha Women with Cool Fans, plant people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2020-05-19 22:25:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 76,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19365085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijnt/pseuds/ijnt
Summary: Uchiha Obito is almost entirely sane, thank you very much. Uchiha Itachi is less so. But together, they're going to bring a more moderate approach to the Akatsuki, an end to suffering, and the downfall of the village system.That is, if they don't manage to get themselves or each other killed along the way. And, most definitely, not resorting to that shitty old Eye of the Moon Plan. Even if it would be much easier.Meanwhile, Sasuke is going to bring his sister back to the village, no matter what. Even if he has to drag her the whole way.





	1. Daifuku

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This the sequel to Blurred Lines. It's going to be somewhat lighter in tone, although, don't worry, I'm not quite done torturing our girl. If you haven't read the original, please do. 
> 
> It also starts off almost immediately after the previous story. Please, leave me some lovely comments! Also, if you'd like to talk more about this story, I made a discord. Feel free to bug me on there, if you have questions or want to leave feedback more personally. [Here's the link](http://discord.gg/brR55CP)

They came out in a thin, underground room. The trip had been disorienting, through a strange dimension, full of geometrically perfect shapes.

Itachi was just glad to have found solid ground. The cave was small, and dark.

A moment, and Obito lit a torch, which illuminated a thin bedroll and a few crates. It wasn't much.

"You take all the girls here?" Itachi asked, lightly.

"I uh, no. You're the first."

"Well, don't take any more. It's sad."

He huffed. "Rude."

She stumbled down onto the bedroll, stretching out. "I'm taking your bed."

"Sure," he said, leaning against the wall of the cave. "I took us here because it's one of the few completely safe from my associates."

She nodded, carefully, and unrolled a scroll, summoning up the tiniest bit of nature chakra. The seal regurgitated her ink and brush set. She took it out, and started painting counter-seals on her wrists and ankles.

"So, tell me about them?"

"The Akatsuki is an organization based in the Land of Rain. The other leader of the group, Pein, is also the leader of Amegakure."

"That's one way to do it," she said.

"Right, yeah. Most of the group is based there, under Pein. I worked mostly independently from them, with a being called Zetsu. He's our biggest problem right now. Pein will expect me to report back occasionally, but I can play my old self well enough to fool him - our plans are a few years from fruition, so there's no rush," he explained. Now that they were alone, he took off his mask. The pale, half-waxy face was familiar, and would have been handsome were it not for his disfigurement.

"I follow," she said. "So you don't intend to move in on Pein until we're ready."

"No, I don't think that's a good idea. He's the only member of Akatsuki that I'm worried about defeating. Zetsu is a different kind of problem, however. He's a plant person, and the source of the Hashirama cells that power both of us. And Akatsuki's spymaster, to boot. So we both might have to play along," he explained.

"How much playing along will I have to do?" Itachi finally got one seal off. The other three would be easy enough to do next.

He shrugged. "He's suspicious by nature, but you might not have to spend much time with him. I do have an idea. Pein's very dangerous, and most of the members of the group are formidable. S-Class, exclusively." He glanced away. "To explain, I was trapped under a rock, and lost an eye during the Third Shinobi World War. I was saved by an old man who called himself Uchiha Madara. He… convinced me to go along with his plans for the Infinite Tsukuyomi, the world-spanning genjutsu.

"I went along with it, for the most part. He eventually died, in order to further the plan. But before he died, he implanted his eyes into a young man from Hidden Rain, who grew up to be Pein. Madara had the Rinnegan, the legendary dojutsu. The plan was eventually to resurrect Madara, using the Rinnegan, but Pein has always had his own plans. So I've been researching and experimenting how to recreate the Rinnegan, since Madara developed it initially."

She shifted forward, uneasy. "So, this Pein has the Rinnegan. That's why you fear him."

He nodded. "He also has a fanatically loyal subordinate named Konan, who never leaves his side. She's dangerous, as well. I doubt I can beat them both. So, my offer is that we infuse you with both Hashirama's cells and Madara's DNA, so you develop the Rinnegan, as well."

Itachi's mouth flopped open. "Me? I'm not - that's not - how?"

"It appears that the Rinnegan develops from an Uchiha and a Senju that are evenly matched, and in conflict. You have no easy rival of Senju descent, but we can fool your eyes, which I think will be enough. We might have to modify your body quite a bit, but I wouldn't do it without your consent."

"Why not you?" she asked. "You're half Hashirama cells already."

"I don't have the Eternal Mangekyo. I don't even have my second Mangekyo eye," he said. "And to do that… we'll definitely need Zetsu, and we might even need a second, less trustworthy person. Orochimaru."

She stilled. "Is that wise?"

"I intend to offer him a body of Hashirama cells, and a set of spare Sharingan. The chakra network around the eyes will need to be sophisticated, but that's not half of what we'll need for the Rinnegan."

Itachi drew back, carefully. "And he'll be satisfied with that?"

"I expect he will. And, the second reason I don't want to operate on myself: I want to be there, in case either Zetsu or Orochimaru try anything." He rubbed his hand through his hair. "Orochimaru is not unreasonable; if we offer him the generous gift of a new body, and a superior one, he'll honor it."

She considered her hands. "And you think this will work? The Rinnegan?"

He shrugged, languidly. "Well, there's a chance. It's not really a fair offer, because I can't just offer you the eyes. And it would be a major surgery, replacing a lot of your body - most of your major organs, likely. But it's the least I can do, considering that you have no village anymore."

She stared at the rough, dirt floor. "What choice did I have? Danzou would never have stopped, and the Third was never going to stop him."

He didn't immediately respond. She stared for a long minute, before he spoke again.

"Like I said, it's the least I can offer you. I'm not going to tell you that you're better off without Konoha, but maybe a nearly godlike dojutsu will, uh, take the edge off, you know?"

She forced a chuckle. "I don't know if that's how it works."

"Yeah, but like - we don't know each other very well, do we? I can't really say anything that will really help," he said. "And your Mangekyo - I can get it, because I remember what it was like with mine, but… it's still not the same."

Itachi nodded, and folded her arms around her knees, huddling in the cool cave. "He was harsh, and he always had so many expectations," she explained, slowly. "But when I really needed him, he was there. He loved me. He loved me enough to give up his dreams for my future for what I needed right then in the present, and…" She cut herself off, eyes flooding with tears. "If that's not love, I don't know what is!"

He stepped forward, leaning down on his haunches, and stretched his arms forward, clearly wanting to comfort. "Hey, hey, hey, that's - that's really nice, that he did that for you. He sounds absolutely wonderful. You loved him. That's why it hurts. But you'll never forget that, and he'll always know that he cared." He chuckled, wetly. "You wanna know something about the Mangekyo I always thought was nice? It changes, before they die. Just before - not long, and only when there's almost no chance of saving them. But it does. So he saw that your eyes change, and he knew that you loved him, that much. That's a nice thing, I think."

She nodded, dumb in her grief.

"Can I hug you? I don't really know whether I should, so I'm just asking, oh, I'm messing this comforting thing up, aren't I?"

Itachi nodded again, and he gently rested his long arms around her, squeezing gently. It was nice. He smelled of dirt and something soft, floral.

"Honestly, don't worry about the Rinnegan thing. We'll figure it out."

"I want it," she said, surprising herself. "You've been very kind to me, you know. And I don't - my body is, well, I'm not that attached to it."

His arms were still around her. "You don't have to decide right now. Get some sleep, and I'll take you to your brother."

"No," she countered, sharper than she meant. "I don't need to think about it. You don't understand. I - I was born male. I've modified this one to be feminine, or well, to go through female puberty. It's not - well, it's not very normal, so if you need to hack it up a little, that's - I'm okay with that."

"Oh," he muttered, drawing back. "But you look - I would never have guessed. You look perfectly natural. I, uh, don't mean this in a bad way - or, I mean, I don't mean to pry. But can I ask - about your… uh, your parts?"

She could feel herself going red. "I removed my testicles at the age of eight, because I hated them. But I have the other bits. If your Hashirama cells can make me a vagina, I'd sign up for it without even the promise of the Rinnegan."

He nodded. "Well, if we're sharing, I'm half-goo myself, down there. It has to be a large part of your body, so I was planning to incorporate half of the cells with Hashirama's original DNA, and half with Madara's DNA. It'd be most of your internal organs, so I think it'd be easy to modify a vagina out of it. We'd need to make sure the DNA was female, so maybe the genitals would need a different kind, but we can do it."

"Okay," she agreed, gently. "I'll do it, then."

"Good," he nodded, dumbly. "We might need to find some female DNA for the vagina, but we'll figure it out."

She shrugged. "If you think so."

He nodded. "Like I said, that is the least I can do." He stood up. "Now, get some rest."

Itachi nodded, dumbly. "I will."

* * *

Obito had left her in her old backyard, in the dead of night, muttering something about finding her a vagina. Which was funnier than she'd expected, to hear out loud.

He'd taken one of her crows - Kuro, because they all had the same name. She was to summon the crow when she was ready to come back.

She was wearing the outfit she'd worn the night of that fateful clan meeting - her yukata, in black and gold, although it was torn and bloody. She slipped in through the dead of night, sliding doors open gently. First, she padded to her room on bare feet - it was untouched. She grabbed the things she'd come for - more clothes, some notes on her jutsu, spare brush and ink, and a picture of them as a happy family. Itachi was a boy in that photo, but it still meant something to her.

She also took all of her spare kunai, because Obito had said that part of the fun of being a missing-nin meant that you couldn't just hop on down to a master craftsman and order a new set. Sometimes, you had to make do.

Her hands lingered over the spare sets of fans. The original ones, that Mikoto had given her, she left. Somehow, it didn't feel right, taking them.

She sealed all of this into a scroll. Then she ducked into Sasuke's room. He was sleeping, all contorted and spread over the sheets, his shirt riding up.

Itachi leaned down, and gently stroked his hair.

"Hey, Sasuke," she whispered.

He turned, in his sleep. "Nee-chan, I'm sleepy," he muttered.

"I know. But I have to tell you something so you need to get up."

"Okay, Itachi," he said, blinking. "Itachi?" He opened his mouth to shout, but she covered it, quickly.

"Yes, it's me. Don't shout," she told him. "I'm here. But I can't stay."

"Why?" he asked, sounding broken. "It's not fair."

"No," she agreed, tears filling her eyes. "It's not."

"So you're leaving, again?"

"Yes. Mother wouldn't let me stay, anyway. I did something bad, Sasuke. But it was necessary. Things would have been much worse if I had done nothing at all."

He rustled up, thin shirt looking far too large on him. Belatedly, she realized it was one of hers, and felt twice as shitty for having to do this.

"I don't get it. Why did you have to do it?"

"Life is sometimes like that, Sasuke. The world in which we live - it's far from perfect."

"It's not fair," he repeated. "Why do you have to go away? Where is Father?"

She flinched. Then she steeled herself, and sat on the bed next to him, cuddling him against her. She wasn't a particularly tactile person, but this was the second time in two days where she was participating in hugs.

She leaned forward, and kissed his hairline, and whispered, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this. But I won't lie, Sasuke. Father is dead."

"No!" he shouted, tears coming easily to his scrunched-up face.

"Quiet," she hissed. "Do not wake Mother."

He nodded, chastised.

"You are allowed to hate me for this," she prefaced.

"I'd never hate you," he vowed.

"Our family was plotting to overthrow the Hokage."

"What?" he asked, almost shouting again. This time she covered his mouth, so he couldn't interrupt.

"Yes. They were. Father was to be the new Hokage. But they weren't going to win - the village is too strong. So I told the Hokage, and he told me to do nothing. So I waited, and waited, and when they wouldn't give it up, I decided to stop it myself." She closed her eyes, holding tightly onto Sasuke, forcing herself to continue. "I did a bad thing. I killed everyone who wouldn't back down and accept that there should be no coup."

He jerked, violently, and she held on. "Listen, Sasuke. I didn't want to. But I had no other choice. Hate me if you like, but I saw no better option. Ask Shisui. Tell him what I told you, and he'll tell you. I was arrested, and they put in me jail, when one of the Hokage's advisors, Shimura Danzou, tried to steal my eyes, and the eyes of the dead Uchiha. So I killed all of them, too. I'm a wanted criminal, now. A missing-nin." She was crying, now. Completely. "I can't be here, but I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

She let him go, and he moved away from her. His face was ugly, blotchy with tears. "How could you?"

"I was protecting you," she said. "And the rest of our family, the ones that had no part in this. If I had done nothing, the order would have come from Shimura Danzou to kill all of the Uchiha, so that he alone could have the Sharingan."

"I hate you," he told her. "I hate you so much."

"I expected as much," she said, rising to her feet. "Shisui will want to know where I've gone. You can tell him that I'm with our masked friend, when he asks."

She went to leave, but Sasuke barreled into her. "Nee-san, don't go!"

"I thought you hated me," she said, smiling through tears.

"But I don't want you to leave," he returned. "I am mad at you, though. To make it up to me, you have to sleep in my bed tonight. Like we used to."

"Okay, hime."

"Hey!" He went red, furious. "Not nice!"

She unpacked some loose sleep shorts, and tucked them on under the yukata, before shrugging it off, and slipping on an old shirt. She carefully returned everything to her pouches, and lay down, next to the wall. Sasuke tucked himself into her arms, and huddled his face into her chest.

"Why did it have to be like this?" he asked.

"I don't know," she explained, gently, cording her hand through his hair. "The world's not fair. I don't think Father wanted the coup, but he went along with it because he thought it would be best for the clan. I didn't want to kill anyone, but I did because I thought it would be best for the clan. Our ideas were incompatible, and neither of us were willing to back down. So it came to a fight. That's sometimes the only way to solve things, in this imperfect world."

He was silent, just holding her tightly. "I don't want it to be like that."

"So change it. You are talented beyond measure, Uchiha Sasuke," she replied.

"I don't know how."

"Neither do I," she murmured. "I tried, by killing everyone who wanted to make the world worse. But all I did was hurt other people."

"I wish Father was alive."

"Me too," she said. "He loved me. I loved him. I wish there had been another way."

"Find one, then," he told her.

"I'll do my best," Itachi promised.

"I know you have to go," he said. "But don't go, not tonight, okay?"

"Okay, Sasuke."

* * *

Shisui had just stopped back home, and said goodbye to his ailing father when Sasuke almost barrelled him over.

"Hey!" he half-yelled. "You're back!"

"Hey, squirt," he said. "Where's your sister?"

Sasuke's face fell, and Shisui immediately feared the worst. "Danzou didn't get her, too, did he?"

"Danzou?" his face scrunched up. "No, she said she killed him."

"Let's not talk here," Shisui ordered, and grabbed Sasuke, and a shunshin later, they were in the clearing by the stream - his and Itachi's spot. "Okay," he said, scanning around. No one. Good. He sat down in the grass. "We can talk now."

Sasuke folded his arms. "Itachi's a missing-nin."

"What?"

"She killed - lots of Uchiha, Shimura Danzou, a bunch of his guys, and…" Sasuke trailed off, glancing away. "Father."

"Oh, no, Itachi," Shisui said. "I'm the older one, it should have been me."

"She said that they were going to try and overthrow the Hokage. Is that true?"

"Yes." Shisui didn't want to tell him, but he wasn't going to lie and contradict Itachi. "They were. Itachi and I were talking about how to stop them. If she went ahead and did all of it while I was out of the village, she was protecting me."

"She said that she was trying to protect me, too," Sasuke said, miserably. "Why did it have to be her?"

"Because she is a good person," Shisui told him. "A good shinobi. She would never have let me, or you do something distasteful that she did herself."

Sasuke pouted, at that. "But it's not fair to her! Someone else should have fixed it!"

"In a perfect world, yes."

"That's what she said - this world was imperfect, that it wasn't fair to anyone."

Shisui nodded. "I think that's right. So, tell me what's going on in the village. I want to know."

"Well, the district is really quiet - a lot of the Police Force are dead, so we've been having funerals. My father's was the biggest." He paused, eyes teary. "And my mother and Uchiha Osamu, the old guy who looks like a turtle, have been running things. I guess I'm next in line for Clan Head," he muttered, staring at his knees. "It's all so different. No one knows what to do."

"Hey," he said, reaching out, and grasping Sasuke's shoulder. "We'll figure it out, okay? I'm not going anywhere. If you do have to be Clan Head, I'll be there with you, every step of the way."

Sasuke nodded, solemn. "I just don't know what to do. Mom's too busy, Dad's gone, and Itachi's no longer in the village. I skipped the Academy yesterday, and no one even said a word."

"Like I said," Shisui repeated. "I'm here. Itachi and I were like brother and sister, and that means that you're my little brother, okay? So I'll help. And I'll be upset if you don't go to the Academy. It's important, okay?"

"Okay," Sasuke said. He looked a little happier. Not quite his usual bubbly self, but… maybe, he would be, in time. "Itachi said to tell you that she's with - your masked friend?"

"I know who that is," he agreed. Obito - the strange, odd man that Kotoamatsukami had affected so strongly. He'd saved Itachi's life, and Shisui was grateful to him for that. He wasn't sure if he was entirely trustworthy, but he was a strong ally if Itachi was no longer affiliated with Konoha. He also had a seal - a strange one, that he could use to contact Obito. Smart, of Itachi. "Maybe we can find her together, one day."

"Okay," Sasuke chirped. "I've got to be strong, then, right?"

"Yes," Shisui agreed, warily.

"Then you have to teach me your shunshin!"

Shisui laughed. "Well, maybe if you show me you can attend the Academy, I could think about it."

"Fine," Sasuke said, looking fierce.

"Good," Shisui said. "I have to go report in a while, but let's train a little, ne?"

"Okay," Sasuke agreed.

"Now, show me what you've got."

* * *

Sachiko sighed, and unlocked the back door of the tea shop. It had been a long day of team training with a new ANBU captain, who was Mole, unsurprisingly. Mole was a loser. Bear agreed, even if he'd never say anything like that, and Hedgehog, the new guy, was even greener than Sachiko.

"I'm home!" she called.

"Welcome!" Yumi's voice echoed back.

She took off her shoes, and padded up the stairs to their small apartment, above the shop. Yumi met her, long teal hair loose and shining, her thin face as beautiful as ever.

Sachiko dropped a quick kiss on her brow, and went to go change. The meeting would be soon, and she wanted to be ready.

"Hey, do you have the sake?" Sachiko asked.

"Of course! I set aside some from the special order. A year old, three bottles, specially for tonight. I even had Akira make up a few daifuku, the kind you like. What kind of meeting was it, again?"

Sachiko stepped out into the small living room. A low kotatsu sat, and Yumi was huddled under it, leaning into the floor couch. Sachiko smiled.

"Oh, just a few shinobi. People that knew my old ANBU captain well. I'm not supposed to tell you, but she killed a whole lot of her family, and one of the village elders, advisor to the Hokage," Sachiko explained.

Yumi's eyes were round and wide. "Oh wow! I heard about him. Shimura Danzou, right? It's like a novel! The villainous traitor, huh? What was she like?"

Sachiko couldn't resist playing it up. "Well, that's the thing - Captain Weasel was a good shinobi. Careful, by the book. A bit of a hardass, but she couldn't afford not to be, given that she was thirteen."

"Thirteen! Wow!"

"A real prodigy, I heard. But that's not what the meeting's about. Some people have been asking around - discreetly, I might add, about how criminal it really was. The Hokage made a judgement, and no one can account for how she disappeared."

She grinned, leaning forward, and settling next to Yumi. "And, here's the real kicker. I was part of the team that investigated Danzou's death. We found him in a massive, secret underground complex, surrounded by unregistered ANBU agents. The office has been a complete clusterfuck, lately. Apparently the guy was running a secret organization, under the Hokage's nose. So certain people in ANBU have been making noise about how the Uchiha killings were maybe more justified than they first appeared."

"Oh, wow. So that's what the meeting's about? This is super exciting, you know! This is what I signed up for when asked out a ninja, you know. How come your life's not this interesting?" she teased, winking one clear blue, pupil-less eye.

"Hey, I'm not sure you want to date a missing-nin," Sachiko warned. "If I ran away from the village as a tragic hero, I wouldn't be able to live in your shop."

"Well, maybe that's not what I want. Maybe I want danger! Excitement! I should see if this Captain Weasel's single."

"Captain Weasel is thirteen, Yumi."

Yumi laughed - a lovely noise. "Oh, right. Shoot. Guess I'll have to stick with my Sachiko."

"Hey, don't tease!"

"You know I love ya," she grinned. "So who's coming to this meeting?"

"Some people - I know the Copy-nin. He's the one who invited me. And Shunshin no Shisui, I think."

"Ooooh! So you're rubbing elbows with the elite?"

"Well, Captain Weasel was an ANBU captain at thirteen, so of course her friends are gonna be good," Sachiko said. "I can't say I knew her well enough to know whether she snapped and killed everyone or not, but I'm willing to hear them out. Connections are everything, here. If I can make friends with Hatake Kakashi or Uchiha Shisui, that's a big deal."

"Smart," Yumi agreed. "My father always said that connections are a big deal. Oh! Did you know that my third cousin turned up? Apparently he was part of a weird cult, or something. His name's Fuu, I'm not sure I mentioned him to you."

"That's interesting," Sachiko agreed. "Yamanaka Fuu?"

"Yeah! Was real weird. The family's all about it. Could that have something to do with your weird secret black ops?"

"I think so," Sachiko agreed.

Just then, a knock came, at the door to the cafe. They were in the room above it, so it was very audible.

"I'll go," Sachiko said. "Have fun reading!"

"You got it. Sake's on the table, and the choko cups are downstairs."

"Love you!"

"Love you too!"

Sachiko grabbed the sake, and padded downstairs into the cafe proper. It was a small thing, homey and traditional. Yumi owned it, and served everything. A cook - Akira - came, in the mornings, and made some of the desserts they served, but that was it.

She set the sake on one of the larger tables, and went and opened the door.

Two teenagers stumbled in, long and lanky - a brown-haired boy, almost a man, and a purple-haired girl.

"Hello!" Sachiko greeted. "Welcome."

The girl hit the boy, on the arm, and he bowed. "Hello! I'm Kasshoku Kane, and this is Uzuki Yuugao. We're here for a meeting?"

"Yes, I believe so. I'm Sachiko. Come, have a seat."

They shrugged off their cloaks and their shoes, and settled down on the floor, at the table. Sachiko went and grabbed choko cups for the three of them, and then a few more for good measure.

She sat down across from them, at the table. "So, how do you know Itachi?" the girl, Yuugao asked.

"Uh, she was my team captain, actually," Sachiko told her. "I only met her six months ago."

"She was our genin teammate," Kane, the boy, said, sitting primly.

"How was that?" Sachiko asked, curious.

"Awful," Yuugao snapped, surprising Sachiko. "How do you think it feels to be effortlessly outperformed by a midget three years younger than you? Itachi was better at everything, without even trying." There was a lot of poorly-hidden resentment, there.

Kane sighed, next to her, and she sensed that this was an old argument.

"So why are you here?"

"Isn't it obvious? Should be, if you were part of her team. Itachi was a lot of things, and annoying as fuck as a kid, but she wasn't a traitor. She wouldn't kill a whole bunch of people without a good reason. So we're here to find out why."

Sachiko nodded, numbly, and distributed the choko cups, pouring them all a drink. She got the real sense that Kane was half-along for the ride, and Yuugao was the driving force, here. She did not, of course, voice the fact that she didn't really believe much either way, and had simply jumped at the chance to associate with important shinobi.

"She was a good leader," she said. "I was impressed that she managed to get us all listening, even at thirteen."

Kane nodded, and Yuugao rolled her eyes. "Suck-up," she accused.

"Hey!" Sachiko protested, feeling her face heat up.

"Be nice, Yuugao," Kane chided.

Yuugao made a noise with her mouth, and took a big drink.

Another knock sounded, and Sachiko got up to answer it. It was a plain-looking man, with brown hair and a full-face forehead protector. Sachiko didn't even know that they still made those anymore.

"Welcome," she said. "You here for the meeting?"

"Yes," he greeted, smiling uncomfortably. "I'm Tenzo."

"I'm Sachiko. Please come in."

He did, stiff and awkward, sitting down next to her instead of near Kane or Yuugao. "Sempai will be late."

"Oh?" Sachiko asked. "I don't know who that is."

"Ah, Hound," he said. "Sorry, Hatake Kakashi." He ducked his head in embarrassment. "I'm not supposed to talk about ANBU. I'm pretty awful at remembering, though."

"Oh, you too?" Yuugao asked.

"Wait, you're both in ANBU?" Sachiko blurted, handing another choko cup to Tenzo. "Oh, that's a relief. I'm Salamander."

"Cat," Tenzo said.

"And I'm Manta Ray," Yuugao said. Sachiko chuckled, and Tenzo smiled. "Don't laugh, it's badass. Don't talk shit. Cats are lame. Salamander's cool too."

"Wait, you're Manta Ray?" Tenzo asked.

"Duh."

"Oh, well, nice to see you, then."

"Same to you," Yuugao returned.

"Alright," Sachiko said, chastised. "Thanks."

Another knock came, and Sachiko got up, and answered. This time, it was a tall, young man, escorting a hunched figure, old and stooped. The man had dark, curly hair, and an easy grin. He pulled the cloak off the old person, revealing that he was a man, almost bald, and hunched like a turtle, almost toothless.

Sachiko guided them to seats at the end of the table, and brought a cushion for the old man. She recognized the young one - Shunshin no Shisui, and as the rest of the table introduced themselves, the old man said he was Uchiha Osamu.

She had only settled them when another knock came, and Sachiko opened it to a huge man, in a long black cloak and a heavily scarred face.

"Hi," she squeaked.

"Hello," he said, calmly. "I am Morino Ibiki. May I come in?"

"I'm, uh, Sachiko."

"It's very nice to meet you, Sachiko-san."

"And you, Morino-san," she replied. She was wondering why he wasn't moving, before she realized that she was standing in the way. "Please, come in."

He did so. "Thank you." And he paced off to sit at the table.

Then, they were only waiting for Hatake Kakashi. It was a tense silence, as Sachiko busied herself serving the newcomers with cups.

Eventually, Kane and Yuugao devolved into a half-shoving, half-bickering fight, Tenzo was sitting awkwardly, drinking his sake, and the two Uchiha were sitting, conversing in low tones. Morino Ibiki was there, calm and intimidating with his huge stature and facial scars.

Sachiko got up and served the daifuku, on a tray. It was in the refrigerator, so she took the tray out and laid it on the table. Everyone took one, and she promised to relay the compliments to Akira.

The old man, in particular, seemed delighted by it. "Thank you, young lady," he said.

The knock on the door came, and Sachiko came and got the door. Hatake Kakashi stood there, hand in his pocket, other hand perusing a worn book.

"Please, come in," she said.

He stood there, staring at the book and ignoring her, for a long moment, until Tenzo hissed from behind her. "Sempai! Get in here!"

"Oh," he said, mildly. "Were you talking to me?"

"Yes," Tenzo hissed. "You're so embarrassing."

"Now, now, that's not a very nice thing to say."

"Get in!"

He ambled through the doorway, looking almost absent-minded. He also didn't remove his shoes, and plopped right next to Tenzo's spot, looking longingly at the empty tray of daifuku.

"Oh, is there food?" he asked, faux-innocent.

Then he scooped one off of Tenzo's plate, and Tenzo hissed, "Oh no you don't! Food is for people who show up on time!"

Sachiko laughed, and sat down in her spot.

"Right, right," Hatake said, almost absentmindedly. "Why are we here again?"

"You called this meeting!" Tenzo hissed.

"Oh, rookie, didn't see you there," Hatake said, instead.

"Captain," Yuugao replied, lips quirking. "We're here because you wanted to talk about Itachi."

"Right, right," he repeated. "See? The rookie was helpful. Why can't you be more like her, Tenzo?"

Tenzo made an inarticulate noise of fury, and Sachiko didn't want to say anything, to provoke him. She was reminded, a little, of Itachi, who would harass her favorites the same way.

"Okay," Hatake finally said. Uchiha Shisui had a nonplussed look on his face, and Kane was oddly bug-eyed, but Osamu was as unbothered as anything, quietly working his way through his own daifuku.

"Time to get down to business. This whole Uchiha Itachi thing, I don't like how it went down. So, it might be best to start with what we know," he said, suddenly all serious.

Sachiko handed him a choko, full of sake, and he fingered it, staring down into the liquid. "My team was first on the scene, so some of you will know this already - we found the Uchiha district on fire, a number of corpses, and a few survivors, along with Uchiha Itachi-san. She surrendered immediately, and was taken to T&I for questioning."

He let that hang in the air for a moment, and barrelled on, lacing his fingers together. "I was present for what passed for an interrogation, with Morino Ibiki, Yamanaka Inoichi, Shimura Danzou, and the Hokage. Itachi-san claimed that the kills were in defense of the Hokage, as the Uchiha were planning a coup. Yamanaka-san mind-walked with her, and Shimura Danzou convinced him that Itachi-san was mentally unstable, due to a clone technique she used." He placed his hands in his lap, and glanced around, his single eye no longer sleepy, and his tone aggressive. "Apparently, her memories were distorted, when they were from the clones, and no one came forward to collaborate the coup, so the Hokage had her confined to a hospital."

"I do not know why no one took my testimony," Uchiha Osamu said, slowly. "I would have told them that the coup was very, very real."

"Me, too. But this all happened when I was outside the village," Shisui agreed. "Someone even took steps to ensure I would not return."

"I had wondered," rumbled the big man, Morino Ibiki. "Itachi-san said, during her testimony that Shimura Danzo-sama attempted to steal her cousin Shisui's eyes, and therefore, she did not trust him. Can you confirm this?"

"He did," Shisui said, nodding, folding his hands behind his hair, and leaning back. "Itachi saved me. Or, her clone did. But it's more accurate to say that she distrusted him long before that. So when…" he glanced away. "When I discovered how to activate the next level of my Sharingan, she kept an eye on me. She had long suspected that Shimura Danzou had it out for the Uchiha, ever since the Kyuubi attack."

That far back? That was a real conspiracy. Sachiko wasn't sure what to think.

"Actually," Kane, from the end of the table, said, eyebrows scrunched up. "She said that a while ago, that the Uchiha were slowly being curtailed. Like, six or so years ago, during one of our genin missions."

"Yup," Shisui said, smiling. "It's been happening for a while. That's a big reason why the clan started talking about a coup in the first place."

"She never mentioned it to me, during our lessons, but a child cannot often hide things from an old man," Osamu murmured.

"That makes sense with what we know - Itachi-san being one of the people most concerned with the welfare of the Uchiha, Danzou-san's grudge against them, but I want to return to something Shisui said." Kakashi spoke calmly, effortlessly commanding the attention of the room again. "You said that you were ambushed, while out on a mission. Please, elaborate."

"I was out with my ANBU team," Shisui explained. "A regular patrol mission. I think it was just luck, that it happened then. Itachi made her move when I wasn't there, but she would have waited no matter what. She didn't want me to have to participate, probably because she knew I'd take her side." He huffed, hugging himself. "But that was just Itachi. Anyway, it was weird, because my normal captain was recalled, along with one team member, but me and Beaver were told to join with another team, Stork and Tortoise.

"That almost never happens, so I knew it was suspicious. I'm Stag, in case you were wondering. But Stork and Tortoise ambushed Beaver and killed him, and tried to do the same to me. I'm almost certain the hit was meant for me. I won, of course." The brag was effortless enough that Sachiko didn't realize it was one.

Morino Ibiki glanced at the Copy-nin, meaningfully.

Hatake cleared his throat, and said, "That fits with my theory. The number of people that would have the administrative power to order a hit like that, and the motivation to silence Shisui-san are very small. But, to the last part of the tale. Itachi was not heard from until much later, when the jonin guarding her was killed, and she disappeared from her cell."

Shisui cleared his throat. "How was he killed?"

"A blade to the throat. It was long, used for slashing," Hatake replied. "Now, Salamander can tell us what's next."

"Oh! Me," she laughed, awkwardly. "I, uh, yeah! So I think I know what you mean. My team got called into a village disturbance, because an entire section of the ground collapsed. We found an extensive tunnel complex that was unmapped by the village, with eighteen corpses, inside. There was also a morgue, with most of the corpses of the dead Uchiha. It was only later we noticed that buried in the rubble was the corpse of Shimura Danzou."

"You believe that Shimura Danzou kidnapped her," Morino Ibiki said, hands steeped in front of him. Sachiko could not tell who he was addressing. "That he attempted to steal her eyes, and stealing the Uchiha dojutsu, and she killed him, and his underground organization for it. She then realized that killing a village elder would mean that she was very unlikely to be able to stay an active shinobi, and fled."

"Yes," Kakashi said, lounging gracefully. "I doubted that she would have killed him without a good reason."

"That makes sense," Shisui added, smiling widely. "She visited her brother, Sasuke, two days ago. She left a message that she is currently with one of our mutual friends, a man who goes by the name Tobi."

Nobody else seemed to have any idea who that was, so Sachiko didn't worry.

"Well, that's good, right?" Kane asked. "Now you can go to the Hokage, and tell him that Itachi had a good reason."

Most of the older half of the table were not quite so enthusiastic. "I do not think the Hokage will act," Osamu said, in his deep, rumbling voice. "He has a long history of not acting, when it comes to the Uchiha, and he has quite publicly condemned her."

"Rough," Yuugao said.

"That was what I expected," Hatake explained, finally. "But I've been wanting to nail Danzou for a long time. He's been doing a tremendous amount of damage behind the Hokage's back, for years. He even recruited Tenzo and I, at one point."

"It's far more important to undo the damage he has done," Osamu said. "Sanctions, against the Uchiha. Opening up the Police Force to non-Uchiha, for instance."

"Shisui," Hatake said. "I'd like to ask you about the Sharingan, when you have time."

"Okay," he agreed.

"Is that it?" Yuugao asked. "I didn't even get to drop a bombshell. How disappointing."

"Too bad, rookie," Hatake Kakashi flippantly replied. "But the meeting's over, yeah. I just wanted to make sure everyone had the story straight, confirm that Danzou got what he deserved, and make sure Itachi's not dead in a ditch somewhere."

He stood, and slouched off, letting himself out. He still hadn't taken off his shoes.

"I think, if anyone were to take it to the Hokage, it should be Hatake-san and I," Morino Ibiki said, in that slow, deliberate way of his. "With Uchiha Shisui and Uchiha Osamu as witnesses, likely. I will call on both of you gentlemen in time." He turned to Sachiko, and bowed, gently. "Thank you very much for hosting us, Sachiko-san. The food was wonderful, and the sake too. I enjoyed them both immensely."

And then he left, too.

Tenzo, too, stood and mumbled his apologies, as he stepped out the door.

Kane and Yuugao stood, and Kane jabbed Yuugao, hard, in the ribs. "Say thank you. I said hello."

"Thank you, Sachiko-san." She looked constipated at the thought of it.

"Good," Kane pronounced. "Now, give back the sake."

"What sake?"

"I saw you take it, Yuugao. I will lock you out of the house, so help me."

"If I had stolen the sake," Yuugao defended, primly. "I'd crawl through the window, anyway. Itachi did it."

"I don't care! Give the nice lady back her sake, or she'll pound you!"

"It's okay!" Sachiko yelled, over them both. "If you happen to have stolen any sake, you may keep it, Yuugao-san."

"See? Even Sachiko-san says I didn't steal it."

"Fine, I give up," he said, rubbing his face. "Thank you, Sachiko-san."

"It's my pleasure," she said.

Next, she turned to Uchiha Shisui and Osamu. "Thank you, young lady," Osamu said. "It was a lovely evening."

"Thanks," Shisui added, sheepishly. "You're Salamander, right? I'll see you around."

"Sure," Sachiko said. And then she was alone. With all the mud that Hatake had tracked in. Damn that man. He was infuriating. She wanted very dearly to march upstairs and tuck herself into the bed, but she went and got the mop.

It was going to be a long night.


	2. Missing-Nin

She was in the hideout, resting on the pallet, wearing her big, comfortable hoodie and shorts and thigh-highs combination. It was a little childish, but she was thirteen. She was allowed to be childish, sometimes. And if it led others to underestimate her, then all the better.

Itachi quietly wound the cloth out from around her forehead, and dropped it into her lap. The steel glinted, knowingly. She hesitated, for a long second, before she drew a kunai from her pouch and lifted it.

The stylized, glinting leaf sigil stared back. She resolved that yes, there was no going back. She was leaving behind everything, giving entirely everything into the idea of this new, reformed Akatsuki. Agreeing to this strange surgery, and hopefully gaining an even stronger dojutsu. She was still getting used to the ones she had, but there was something comforting about the idea of ultimate power.

Obito was solicitous. She knew that big promises were easy to make, and harder to replicate, but she was trusting him. She'd trusted him already, a great deal, but she couldn't reconcile her view of him as the awkward, fumbling man who'd comforted her in his own way that first day, and the kind of person who'd cut her up for parts.

She'd even asked him his heritage, to make sure he wasn't going to steal her Mangekyo. He was too distantly related - they were both Uchiha, but he was a distant cousin. Neither hers or her father's eyes were useful to him, not like that, and other than that, she was unremarkable. She was far more useful alive. He had plenty of access to Uchiha corpses, if that's what he wanted.

He wanted some new blood, someone he knew he could trust, that wouldn't side with Pein or Zetsu or even Uchiha Madara, if he somehow came back. So it made sense - he offered something she wanted, and she was his ally, before anyone else's.

And that meant before Konoha's.

She pressed down, the kunai making a terrible scraping noise, against the metal, as she gouged a thick slash through the leaf. There. It was an ugly thing, but she wanted it to look ugly. She wanted others to know that Konoha had fucked her, so she defaced its emblem and wore it proudly.

"Right, so yea, the fuck Konoha thing, huh?" Obito asked. He was lurking, sitting on his crate, watching her. She'd noticed. She didn't particularly mind. He at least had the decency to let her work through her thoughts before he spoke. He had a bushel of grapes, and was popping them into his mouth, one by one.

"I was serious," she said, mildly. "And I wanted you to know that I'm in this. I'm not going to go slithering back at the first chance they offer me."

"Right, right," he agreed, eating another grape. "Slither, huh? Thinking about our new friend?"

"He's a friend, then? What guarantees do you have that he's not going to betray us at the first opportunity?" She paused, and motioned towards the grapes. "Hey, share."

"Demanding," he commented, but he did so. "I'm going to put a seal in the new body we give him that means if he tries it, we can just explode him," Obito said. He mimed an explosion with his hands.

Itachi grinned, leaning forward. "That's good to hear. I'm very reassured by that. Am I going to get a bomb in me, too?"

"No," he said, rushing forward and putting his hands up. "I - Madara put a bomb in me. But you - I don't want to do that to you. Besides, no offense, but," he shrugged, "you just slashed your forehead protector. You don't really have anywhere else to go."

"True, but that doesn't mean you won't do it anyway," she retorted, tying her hitai-ate back on her forehead. "But I suppose there are no guarantees in this world." She ate one of the grapes. They were large, almost as large as plums, and surprisingly sweet. She couldn't quite fit it in her mouth, so she had to chew, awkwardly. Damn Obito and his adult male-sized mouth.

"Hey, I-" he cut himself off. "Wait, what? You're not going to make me swear or threaten me with death?"

"Well, I'm trusting you, aren't I?" she asked, once she'd finished her grape. "And you said you wouldn't do it. So, either your word is good, or it isn't. I am, however, going to set up a crow to go to Shisui and tell him that if I die, it's your fault, so there's that. And then who would help you take over Akatsuki?"

"That's smart," Obito countered, his head tilting, as he popped another grape in his mouth. "But if I was smart, I'd wait until you helped me take over the Akatsuki before I betray you and blow you up from the inside."

"I suppose that's true, too," Itachi agreed, smiling widely now. "But by then, many things could be different. You may still need me, or you may decide that I'm more useful to you alive than dead. I might have figured out how to disarm the bomb inside me. Who knows?" She bit into another grape.

"Or you might become too powerful to keep alive, with the Rinnegan," he replied, the humor in his voice obvious, his mouth full of grape. "But as you said, that's in the future."

"Good," she agreed. "Until then, we're partners."

"I think you're technically my minion." He shrugged.

"I think we're partners," she returned. "Since I'll be able to beat you in a fight."

"Ah-ah!" he said, holding up a finger. "No, that just means you're my muscle. The important guy isn't the best fighter. That's not how the yakuza works."

"Oh, are we a yakuza now?" Itachi asked. "Where are my cool yakuza tattoos then?" She ate another grape. Two bites, but she wasn't eating them whole, like him.

"Well, you're a free woman, now," Obito pointed out, chewing while he talked. "You can get all the yakuza tattoos you want."

"Are you genuinely trying to tell me to get yakuza tattoos  _without_ being a member of the yakuza? Uchiha Obito, I can't believe you. I don't know if we can be partners anymore."

He made a face, looking  _very_ offended. "That doesn't change how cool they are."

"You know what's really cool? Authenticity. And I gotta say, I don't think we've got quite the chops to qualify as a yakuza group."

"What do you mean?" he asked, eating more grapes. "You're an internationally wanted super mass murderer and I am the shadow leader of an international criminal organization."

"Maybe," she pointed out, swallowing her own grape, "But the Akatsuki is only criminal right now because it's outside the influence of the village system. You told me that all they do is totally legitimate jobs, for pay, and they don't even rip anyone off, or anything. That's not yakuza at all. That's rebellious, but not really criminal." She nodded, decisively, and continued, "And as for me, murdering a whole bunch of people in one go isn't very yakuza. It's something the yakuza avoid, as far as I know. They're more about making money through not-legitimate means, not about rampant mass murder. That makes you too notorious."

"Oh," he said, nonplussed. "I guess we aren't very good yakuza, then, are we?"

"No," she agreed. "And while I think their tattoos are very beautiful, I am not the kind of loser who gets yakuza tattoos when they're not actually a yakuza." She glanced up at him, considering. "You… don't have any yakuza tattoos, do you?"

"No, no," he said, laughing. "No way."

She activated her Mangekyo. "I think you're lying to me," she warned. "I can see through that."

"I'm not lying!" he protested, and strangely, he wasn't. "Hey, if you're going to use that on me for the yakuza tattoos thing, why didn't you use it when you asked about the bomb?"

"I didn't think of it." She bit into another grape, to hide her embarrassment.

He howled with laughter, popping another into his mouth. "Well, at least your priorities are straight!"

She hissed, in anger, and snarled, "Okay, fine. Promise me you won't put a bomb in me, for any reason."

"Okay, okay, I promise! No need to get all, 'spooky feathered transformation' on me." Again, he was telling the truth.

"Wait, what?" she asked. "What transformation?"

"When you were in the base. I thought you knew - when you were all rage-y, and punching dudes' chests in half and stuff? Your hair was feathered, and your lips black, and you had these claw things on your nails," he said. His face was concerned. "You didn't notice?"

"No," she said, confused. "Like you said, I was all rage-y. Now that you mention it, I did notice something was off about my hands, but I was worried about other things, honestly." She finished that grape.

"It was neat," he soothed. "Very intimidating. I almost didn't recognize you."

"Well, I guess that makes sense. One of my eyes takes in this strange chakra. I think it's nature chakra, so that's the version of my sage mode, I guess?"

"Sure, sounds right," he agreed. "It was very cool, though."

"Thanks," she said, popping the last grape into her mouth. She had to awkwardly bite off the rest of it, because it was so big.

"Anyway, you almost ready to meet Orochimaru? Actually, we should see Zetsu, too. He'll be fun. The good thing is that you've got a bit of him in your chest, so he won't want to eat you."

"That's… reassuring." It was not, in fact, reassuring at all.

"The thing with Zetsu, is that he's like, super loyal. So just act normally, and go along with it. You shouldn't need to speak too much, so it's easy. Just don't mention anything of my secret plans to betray and murder him soon. Y'know, simple stuff."

"Right, right," she agreed. "My eight year old brother Sasuke could handle that part."

"Good, then you won't mess it up. Orochimaru is a bit harder, but we're just looking over plans for transplants, with him."

"Why do we need him, anyway?" She asked.

"Mostly, for medical knowledge. I fudge a lot of things, with the Hashirama cells, and Zetsu's not… normal. I want to make sure all the things we're doing are correct. And he's been modifying his body for years. He might have good suggestions."

"Seems like an awful big reward for just checking over your work," she commented, trying not to sound bitter.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, our clan's dojutsu," she said, tossing away the stem of her grapes. "You're giving a set away, just for that? Can't you just order him to?"

"Not really." He made a face, munching on the last of his own grapes. "That's practically asking for sabotage. And I'm not giving him an Uchiha body, only the eyes. And we can make Zetsu keep an eye on him, for us. Make sure he doesn't get up to too much."

"This would be better if I could watch him, but I'll need to be under for the procedure," she pointed out.

"Well…" he glanced away, nervously. "If we replaced your eyes early, within the next few days, your original eyes will be free. Do you have any plans for them?"

"I was going to save them for Sasuke," she said, a little bit sharply.

"Well," he said, coolly. "The nice thing about the Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan is that whatever state the eyes are in, they're always at full power, when you transplant them. So if I had your left eye, I could use it to tell whether Orochimaru is trying to fool us. And it's a useful ability, I'd think. My Hashirama cells, too, prevent most serious eyesight loss. So… are you willing to loan it out?"

Itachi pondered that. "You'll give it back, when Sasuke needs it?"

"Hopefully, he never does. But yes, when the time comes that he does, I will return it."

"Well put."

She considered the offer. "And you're sure that it won't turn into an Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan for you?"

He smiled, sharply. "We both know that, Itachi-san. That's why you asked me about my parentage."

He was right, and besides, she'd already established that she trusted Obito, and more tools for her allies were better than less. "Fine, you can have it. How long will an eye transplant take to heal?"

"A few days, for us. We should go to this meeting, make the offer, then let Zetsu make up the body for Orochimaru and grow your organs. Then, we transplant eyes and get ready for the procedure," he mused. "That way, we'll be strong, in case something comes to a fight and I can make sure it goes off without a hitch."

"Okay," she agreed. "Are we meeting them, now?"

"Yes," he said, sticking his hand out.

She stood, and walked over to him, and grabbed it. Another short trip through that strange dimension, and they were walking through dark tunnels, to a thin room, half-underground. It was lit, only by bright slats, showing the world outside. The hum of chakra was steady, in this place.

A man rose up out of the ground, as strange-looking as Itachi had ever seen. He was half bone white, and half inky black, split straight down the middle. His eyes were yellow, cold, and unfathomable, and he had moss-green hair and great green spines, like a collar, above his Akatsuki cloak.

Obito was wearing his own, so Itachi stood out in her plain black hoodie and childish outfit. She wasn't particularly bothered by that, however.

"Madara-sama," the creature greeted.

"Zetsu-san," he returned, voice pitched almost comically low and imposing. "This is the girl."

Zetsu eyed her, and she held his gaze, unconcerned. "Strong," he commented. "And she's already accepted the cells?"

"Yes," Obito agreed, mask tilting. "She's shown promise, with just a small infusion in the chest."

"And you'll want to add to that, and incorporate your own DNA, and replace most of her body?"

"The internal organs, at least," he said. "Enough that she is likely to develop the Rinnegan, once we transplant her eyes."

"A larger transplant would guarantee more success," Zetsu pointed out. "Limbs, head, that sort of thing."

"No," Obito cut him off. "I don't want to disfigure her. And the risks - an entirely Hashirama cell body has its own drawbacks."

"Fine," Zetsu said, clearly unhappy. "The samples?"

Obito smoothly clapped his hands together, and a section of wood rose out of the floor, making a small table. He withdrew a sheaf of papers from his cloak, including three small vials. "This is the plan," he said, spreading them out.

Itachi looked. It was quite a bit more gruesome than she expected. He had laid out a detailed sketch of her torso, including all the major organs, and detailed plans for how to extract and replace nearly every important vital organ, all the way to the brain stem.

She looked away. That was enough, for the moment, to know. Obito and Zetsu hashed out a few more details, including asking for an empty body for Orochimaru. And then Zetsu was gone, sinking into the ground.

Obito turned around, and offered his arm, silently. "Orochimaru next," he said, in that low, smooth voice.

They were in the strange, in-between dimension when she spoke. "He wanted to do more," she pointed out. "Is that going to be a problem?"

"I doubt it. He wants to serve me," he said. "He's made of Madara's will, and another Rinnegan wielder is another failsafe for his plan."

"As you say," she acquiesced.

"Don't worry," he told her. "I've been dealing with Zetsu for a decade. I have him figured out."

"If you say so," she said. "I'm going to keep my Mangekyo on for this conversation, though."

"If you must." He chuckled, underneath the mask. "Doesn't hurt that it looks scary, huh?"

"No," she agreed, quietly, and turned it on.

They stepped out in a long, tiled chamber, with a throne-like chair at the top. Orochimaru sat there, idly, playing with the sleeve of his cloak. He, too, wore the red clouds. The web around him swirled, like tidepools, but there was something calming to it, a stillness, like watching a waterfall or a fire. There was a discordance, but it was low, and deep, not the kind of momentary deception that a lie meant. This was something on a fundamental level, a disconnect. Itachi wondered what it meant.

"Hello," he said, calmly, as if they just hadn't swirled out of thin air.

"Orochimaru," Obito boomed, in that voice of his. "I am Uchiha Madara. I have a proposition, for you."

"Fascinating," Orochimaru mused, still playing with his hem. "You're looking spry, for a man who must be nearly a hundred. How do you do it, I wonder? Exercise? Good eating? The blood of the innocent?"

"Good genes."

Alien, golden eyes flitted to Itachi. He pulsed, with what seemed like amusement.

"Oh, is this your great-great-grandchild? How quaint, that you're kidnapping them and teaching them to hate their village already."

"Are you interested, or not?" Obito asked, harshly.

"Very well. I understand, you're worried about the time. You must have so little left. I, however, have no such problem." He smiled, slowly. "Now, what's in it for me?"

"A body, made of superior genetic material cloned from the First Hokage." His dramatic sweeping voice made it sound like a grand present. "One that can be made compatible with your body-switching technique. I understand it has a limitation - you must change, every three years."

Orochimaru perked up, both visibly, and in the web. "Oh, do tell. What are we doing?"

Obito stepped forward, and produced a similar scroll to the one he showed Zetsu. "An invasive operation, to replace someone's entire organ structure."

Orochimaru slouched up, and stepped forward, smiling widely. "Oh, very fascinating. Your little pet is getting a tune-up, no? What are you replacing it with?"

"Cloned cells, mostly from the First Hokage," Obito replied. "There are many benefits."

Those yellow, snake's eyes flicked over Itachi again. The web pulsed, but not with aggression. "I… see. What a fascinating insight into the proclivities of one of our village's founders. No wonder you never took a wife…"

"If you provide willing assistance in this matter, I will deliver you an entirely new body that will suit your needs nicely," Obito said. "If you perform in an exemplary manner, I will implant two Sharingan into it before I deliver it to you."

The web flickered, as Orochimaru snapped to attention. He was truly a fascinating subject to observe.

"I would be… in your debt." He was stiff, with anticipation.

"Then make this body the best it can be. I had better be impressed," Obito replied, smartly.

"Well, if that's the case, then perhaps we could talk about the limbs," he replied, clinical in his examination. "I assume that you would not allow me to cut her open to examine the musculature myself, but… how versatile are these cells? What are their capabilities? I assume from the lack of bones removed on your diagram that they do not replicate those as effectively. But muscles?"

"The muscles have more potential than normal, yes. I did not want Itachi-chan to face the disfigurement."

"Luckily you came to me, then," Orochimaru mused. The web around him lit up with delight. "There will be no surgery scars, when I am done with her."

"Excellent," Obito said, smiling. "This partnership is proving fruitful, already."

"Yes, yes. I've recently been experimenting with the idea of extra limbs. But the internals - I never considered that. I wonder… three days, with these plans, and I can give you a more efficient internal system."

"The cells, by their nature, will change the body's normal processes. Once implanted, the girl will have increased durability, fast healing, and the ability to survive without food or water."

"Fascinating," he said. "So, if we are prudent, the need for much of the lower body's systems can be reduced, or eliminated entirely. I would be happy to design the body with a system like this - if, of course, the body I receive has them too."

"The reproductive system remains as planned," Itachi said, speaking for the first time.

"As you wish," Orochimaru agreed, nodding to her. "There is very little need to remove that system, anyway. It provides much of the hormone regulation, and without it, there would be… inefficiencies."

"Your body will be, of course, to your specifications."

"Mhmmm," Orochimaru said. "Of course. I will keep these. I have… ideas. I will have the designs in three days, and however long it takes the parts to be fabricated. We can start then."

"I will be back." Obito's voice was full of dark promise.

He held out his hand, and whisked her away.

* * *

The new kid was pale, so pale he looked like one of the black and white manga comics that were for sale in the shops. He stood up at the front of the class, sullen and silent, and Sasuke dismissed him, when he wouldn't speak.

Sasuke settled down for a nice long lecture about the Henge, a technique he already knew, and found boring. Itachi had taught him this ages ago, and Shisui had promised to teach him a new wire technique tonight.

Naruto dozed next to him. He was almost entirely certain that Naruto knew nothing about the Henge, but he spent enough time turning into a naked woman that Sasuke was sure that Naruto could pass the Henge part of the graduation exam today, even as he napped on the desk.

His fangirls lurked around him, too. None of them seemed particularly daunted now that the news had come out that his sister was an apparently insane mass-murderer, and a criminal on the run from the village.

They'd liked him the same a month ago. It was a mark of just how shallow the affection truly was, that they had no idea that his father was dead, his sister gone, and his mother a pale shadow of what she once was.

Only Shisui really saw him, now.

The lesson ended, and he grabbed his bento and went out to the tree where he usually nestled. He had to pack his own bento, today, half-full of tomatoes, because half the time, Mikoto seemed to have no idea Sasuke existed at all, and half the time, she was like a hawk, making him do his homework and stuffing him full of food.

Naruto, oddly, did not follow him this time, instead gravitating towards that new boy, Sai. That was unfortunate, because Naruto was a very good fangirl repellent.

Today, Haruno Sakura was the most brave, sitting only a scant few feet away in the grass. Her usual competition, Yamanaka Ino, seemed to have lost a little bit of her enthusiasm, so she was on the outskirts of the circle.

Across the yard, Naruto was gesturing, animated, to Sai. Sai said something in return, and Naruto flipped out. Sasuke felt as if he ought to pay more attention, because Naruto was doing his level best to punch the crap out of the pale boy, and was soundly getting trounced.

Sasuke sighed. The idiot couldn't help it. He was always picking fights.

Sai left Naruto in the dust, and he picked himself up, scrambling over to Sasuke.

"Hey, hey, you!" he shouted. "Sasuke!"

"What do you want, loser?" Sasuke asked.

"He was talking shit about Nee-san!"

"About Itachi?" Sasuke was up in an instant, his lunch forgotten. "What did he say?"

"He said he was going to kill her! He said she killed all his friends, and that she's a monster! She's not a monster, she's Nee-san!"

"She's my sister," Sasuke vowed. "I'll kill anyone who talks bad about her." He turned to Naruto. "Where is he?"

"Over there? I guess you're not so bad, bastard," Naruto shot back. He pointed towards the other end of the yard, where Sai was standing, glowering at the rest of the group. As if glowering and looking mean made him cool, or something.

Sasuke was the only one that could make that look cool. And if he wanted revenge on Itachi for something, well, then there was only room for one of them on the playground. It was time.

"Back me up," he ordered Naruto. He nodded, vigorously, and followed Sasuke across the yard. Eyes followed them, right up until Sasuke stood face-to-face with Sai, in the yard. Naruto lurked behind them, even as a crowd formed.

"What did you say about my sister?" he asked, tone low and threatening.

"You're Uchiha Sasuke," the kid said, not even blinking. "Your sister, Itachi, is a dirty, murdering traitor. The worst kind of-"

He was cut off, by Sasuke's fist colliding with his face. He slumped, lightly, rubbing it. "I see you're trash, too."

"Don't call the bastard trash! Only I get to call him that!" Naruto warned.

"I see the village idiot is here too," Sai snarled.

Sasuke exchanged a quick glance with Naruto, and, as one, they jumped him. Eventually, the teachers had to come and pull him off. And he got a whole week's worth of detention, and Naruto did too.

Somehow, over the course of serving those detentions, they'd become friends, he realized, as he grudgingly allowed Naruto to drag him to the ramen stand, on the last day.


	3. Eternal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! If you'd like to talk more about this story, I made a discord. Feel free to bug me on there, if you have questions or want to leave feedback more personally. [Here's the link](http://discord.gg/brR55CP)

Itachi sat, nervously, on the bed. This was not the hideout where they typically took refuge, because Zetsu was here, sitting across from her, and watching her hungrily. Not for the first time, she wondered how true Obito's declaration was that he did not, in fact, want to eat her, because of the Hashirama cells.

He certainly looked like he wanted to eat her.

"Can you, uh, stop staring?" she asked, nervously. It was just the two of them, waiting for Obito to come back.

"Sorry," he grunted, averting his mismatched eyes. "You have an interesting face. Reminds me of someone."

"Oh," she said, feeling dumb. "I just - forget about it. What were they like?"

"Beautiful," he replied, smiling. "As beautiful as the moon." He looked deranged, as he leaned forward. Itachi was slowly realizing that he looked deranged, no matter what he did. Perhaps it was just his natural appearance. "She was everything to me, once. Strong, capable, intelligent. I mean it as a compliment," he said, grinning wider.

"Well, thank you," she said, unsure. "Like Madara?"

"Yes," he replied. He was half-snarling, half unsettled. Itachi had begun to think that he was deeply unwell - or more inhuman than she'd thought. "Like Madara-sama. Mother… I loved her."

"I'm sorry she's gone, then."

"Well…" He twitched. "Not gone, completely. I think I'll be seeing her again, soon."

"I'm glad," she told him, forcing herself to smile awkwardly.

Obito popped into existence, then, and she was  _very_ relieved, not to have to deal with Zetsu and his clear insanity, anymore. Did he even have a mother? He was supposed to be made of Madara's will, wasn't he?

"Zetsu, stop bothering Itachi," Obito ordered. Zetsu leaned back, and straightened up, immediately. Obito turned to her. "You ready?"

"Yes," she said.

"Okay, Zetsu," he said, taking off his mask, and showing his other eye. "You got everything?"

"Yes," Zetsu said, softly, running his hands over the table, where he had bandages, a syringe, and a number of glass jars arranged. "We are."

"And the eyes?"

Itachi produced the scroll, and opened it up, stepping forward and dropping them into one of the vials. They spun, gently, as the blood diffused gently into the clear liquid.

"The girl first?" Zetsu asked, calmly.

"Yes," Itachi said. "I can do it myself."

"Itachi-"

"I've done it before," Itachi protested.

"Not on yourself!"

"So?" she asked. "I did it on a very realistic clone of myself. I remember doing it, and having it done."

Obito blinked, harshly. "What?"

Itachi sighed. "I can make a very realistic clone, with memories that feel real, so I tortured her to death many times, to fuel hyper-realistic genjutsu."

"That's like, genuinely fucked-up, Itachi. I want you to know that."

She huffed, and crossed her arms. "How come everyone flips out when I tell them that?"

"Because that's like - most people don't want to know what it's like to be tortured, techniques or no."

"Most people have weak genjutsu," she returned, sneering. "Either way, I did it. It doesn't matter what you think."

"Okay, okay," he agreed. "If you want to take out your own eyes, be my guest."

"I'll be gentle," Zetsu promised. "I have prepared an injection, to stimulate the optic nerve to accept new eyes. My usual method is to sever the eyeball at the base of the optic nerve itself, to make the cleanest replacement. I have replaced Madara-sama's eyes many times."

"You promise?" she asked, activating her eyes to ensure he told the truth.

"Yes," he said, bowing slightly. "I will be gentle." He was odd, two-toned in the web, with a lingering malevolence about him, but he wasn't lying.

"Fine," she agreed. All of her new allies were disturbing in that vision, even Obito, a little. It was just something she'd have to get used to.

She lay down on the bed, and allowed him to lean over. As he promised, the touch of his black hand was surprisingly gentle, and the roots he produced through his fingers were razor-sharp.

He forced her eyes open with roots, and dug into her right eyeball, steady in reality, and in the web. Her eye popped out, and she felt the low, dull pain behind it, as her vision blurred. He pulled, just a little bit, with a very soft touch, on her sensitive eyeball itself, and severed the nerve. It took a second, before it was scaldingly painful.

She watched him with only her left as he placed that eye into a new jar, and repeated the same process with her left eye.

"I'm going to inject you now," he said, and his cool fingers brushed her neck, twisting it to find a vein. The world was dark, but his clear, gentle touches were enough to keep her from panicking.

His voice, too, low and dangerous, was pitched oddly gently, calmly. It was strange, but Itachi was just grateful for it as he injected her neck with the syringe. It felt like liquid ice, spreading through her veins and freezing them solid.

He did not wait long, and she could feel the roots forcing her left eye open again, and a smooth, cold orb was inserted to replace it. Zetsu snuck a digit in, to seal the ocular nerve to the eyeball itself with cool, minty medical chakra, and then closed her eye, gently. It burned, but not badly.

She kept it closed, and he did the same with her right. The burning was almost soothing, and the ice of the injection soon reached her eyes, and they soothed, almost immediately. She kept her eyes closed, as he wrapped cloth around her face, tightly.

"All done," he pronounced. "Would you like a sedative?"

"Yes," she said, in a small voice. Another injection, and then she was out like a light.

* * *

Ibiki waited, calmly, in the office. The low whir of the heater to his left and the clacking of the secretary's nails on the desk were the only sounds. It was unseasonably cold, in Konoha today, at the advent of winter. Konoha was usually very warm, particularly during the summer, but its distance from the coast made for cooler winters than expected - they sometimes even got snow, which was unusual this far south.

He was briefly grateful for the headscarf forehead protector that he wore, as he buckled his coat around him.

The secretary finally called his name, and he stepped up, grabbed his file, and opened the door, into the wide room behind. It was long, with windows, and a high ceiling. And, it was very cold. He pulled the coat further around himself, and settled into the chair.

The Hokage, bundled in what looked like a number of blankets, blinked at him with old eyes.

"Morino-san," he said, warmly.

"Hokage-sama," he greeted. "I wanted to bring this to your attention personally."

"Oh?" he asked, gently, holding out a hand. Ibiki placed the file in it.

He frowned. He didn't particularly relish this job.

"I was invested in this incident, so I looked into it on my own, and I am afraid that the results aren't promising."

The Hokage opened the file, and he made a noise of assent. "I thought it might have been this," he said. He sighed. "I'm not going to enjoy reading this, am I?"

"I want you to know that I believe your judgement was sound, Hokage-sama," Ibiki said, firmly.

"Oh?"

"I have been looking at this case, and while the complete picture is one thing, the limited view you had the day you made the judgement to confine her was just that: limited. So you deferred making a judgement, and allowed more data to be collected," he said. He believed this, too. "But the village had rot in it."

"You are speaking of Shimura Danzou-san, then?" the Hokage asked, paging through the files.

"Respectfully, Hokage-sama, I am. I have interviewed a number of people in an official capacity that were not interviewed at the time that we had Uchiha Itachi detained, including her cousin, Uchiha Shisui, and the last surviving Uchiha clan council member, Uchiha Osamu. They have painted a worrying picture about the esteemed Danzou-sama. Shisui-san confirmed Itachi-san's accusation of attempted eye theft, and they both testified the coup was indeed real."

He folded his hands, and gravely intoned, "Thus, I believe he was intentionally deceiving you, likely with the intent to gain control of Uchiha Itachi. What he intended her for, I can only speculate. But I believe that she did not remove herself from captivity. Instead, I believe that it was Danzou-sama's Root division that murdered her guard, and took her from her cell."

"That is a worrying accusation, Morino-san."

"Indeed. The base that Team Phi found underneath the village was very worrying, as well. They had a number of Uchiha corpses from the massacre, lacking any dojutsu, and a wealth of documents that implied that they took them through mostly-legal means. It seems that Shimura Danzou-sama was running a secret branch of the ANBU under your nose, Hokage-sama. I confirmed that you ordered him to disband it, years ago, after the defection of Orochimaru."

The Hokage leaned back, rubbing his forehead, looking old and weary. "Yes, that is true. The treachery of my old friend goes very deep."

"I am sorry to inform you of this," Ibiki said.

"It is not something I have not suspected myself, Morino-san," the Hokage said, gently. "Thank you for having the courage to bring this to me."

"Unfortunately, I'm not done yet." Ibiki crossed his legs, and rested his hands on them. "During my interview of Uchiha Shisui, he said that Itachi-san suspected Danzou-sama long before the attempted eye theft, because she believed that he was systematically attempting to oppress the Uchiha, going all the way back to the night of the Kyuubi attack. He said that since you, Hokage-sama, had no choice but to suspect the Uchiha for the attack, you did not prevent Danzou-sama from slowly marginalizing and taking the freedoms from the Uchiha, which was one of the big reasons for the coup in the first place."

"I see," the Hokage said, showing no emotion.

"I did indeed find a pattern, in the edicts concerning the Uchiha, in the last ten years. I do not believe that they were malicious on your part, but the evidence does not favor Danzou-sama. Itachi-san's and Shisui-san's accusations of eye theft, in this light, make some sense. It is my professional opinion that the current crisis was engineered in no small way by your former friend and advisor, possibly with the intent of stealing the Sharingan.

"I would recommend, in this case, moves to counteract these edicts. For starters, integrating non-Uchiha into the Police Force and allowing them to police the entirety of Fire Country, not just the village, would go a long way to make positive change in this direction."

"The law that created the Police Force was put down by my predecessor, Senju Tobirama," the Third Hokage said, slowly. "It would be… a break in tradition, to undo it."

"Respectfully, age is not a reason not to consider whether something is just. Had the First Hokage and Uchiha Madara been unwilling to attempt to build something new, none of us would be sitting here, and all of us would be worse off." He leaned forward, and softened his face. "I believe that this is best for the village, and it would show the Uchiha that you have not forgotten about them. Having spoken closely with their leaders, they believe that you have."

"I will consider it," Sarutobi Hiruzen promised, looking every one of his sixty-five years. "Thank you for your advice, Morino-san."

"I have one thing left to say," he said, quickly. "I believe that Uchiha Itachi is associated with a dangerous individual, one that Shisui called the masked man. Reports have not sighted either of them, not since the night that Itachi-san killed Shimura Danzou-sama. Hatake Kakashi is restless, and very unhappy with how everything went down. If you hear of either of their whereabouts, please send Kakashi-san's ANBU team. I believe that it will be best if he is the one who pursues."

"I can see your reasoning. Thank you, Morino-san."

"Of course, Hokage-sama. I am happy to serve," he said, bowing. He was obviously dismissed.

It was out of his hands now, but he had done what he could.

* * *

Itachi gave herself a long, hard look in the mirror. Her eyes were the slightest bit darker. In the right light, her eyes showed themselves to be the brown that they were. Fugaku's eyes had always been slightly darker than hers.

Now, hers were the ones that were darker. She could see, if anything, better than before. When she activated her Mangekyo Sharingan, she could see the normal, eight-pointed flower pattern, but now it had thin rings, crossing the petals. It was beautiful, she thought. Everything she was made, by her father. She only hoped that he looked down on her, proudly, from the Pure World.

She even felt better - stronger, and more resilient. Maybe it was the second dose of Hashirama cells that Zetsu had given her. She had regained her sight faster than Obito had, at least. Almost a day earlier.

She looked pale, in the mirror. Pale and thin. Her cuts from the night of the massacre had well and truly scarred, by now, but the burn was barely healed, red and livid on her pale skin. She probably needed more sun. She hadn't been outside much, lately, and although she'd always been pale, she was looking positively ghostly, next to the inky-black of her hair.

That, too, was longer than normal, and hard to keep control of. Part of her wanted to cut it all off, but she refrained, at least until the Rinnegan thing happened. She had it in a messy, long tail that tickled her neck.

She stared at herself, naked, in the mirror, and found that she didn't wholly dislike the way she looked. Sure, her hips were slim, but her shoulders were thin, too, and while she had no breasts to speak of, her body was thin and androgynous, in that way.

Her legs were thin, too, but covered in muscle, and the thigh-high leggings made them look nicely feminine. It could have been much worse.

It was also a thirteen-year-old body, and there was something to be said for the fact that most girls, at thirteen, disliked  _something_ about their bodies. Depending on the girl, it was sometimes many somethings.

Her scars were many, but she could not say she terribly minded. Her face was bare. She had two bad scars: there was the burn from Fugaku's White Pillar on her neck, as well as the Hashirama-cell filled hole in her chest from Madara-Obito's Mokuton. They were disfiguring scars, but she was not vain in that way, and she had been a ninja for six years at this point. That was more than nothing.

She shrugged back into her go-to outfit these days, now that the black and gold yukata had been thoroughly ruined: her oversized hoodie and shorts. She tied the scratched forehead protector around her head, and went to go visit Obito.

Zetsu had gone off to do Zetsu things hours ago, and Obito was lounging around in bed.

"Wake up, sleepy," she murmured, prodding him. "I want to go outside."

"Outside?" he asked. " _Why_? It's cold outside."

"I need sunlight," she informed him, dryly. "I'm like, super pale."

He grunted, and rolled over. "Since when were you like, an actual  _girl_?"

"Since always," she retorted, kicking his bed. "I'm  _bored_ , Obito. There's nothing to do in this hideout, and I practiced jutsu and my fans and played with the Mangekyo all morning. I need stimulation. I'm bored. Do you at least have any prisoners, or anything?"

"No," he said, surly. "Zetsu eats them."

"Gross," she commented. "But not really a surprise. Maybe I should ask him to save me one, so I have something to do."

"It's so weird that I think he actually would. How is it that he actually likes you? I swear, he doesn't like anyone."

"I don't know."

"It's even weirder to see you acting like a teenager."

"I have all this energy," Itachi said. "I don't know what's gotten into me. And I'm free! I have literally nothing to do. No responsibilities, nothing but hanging out and training. And no one to play with. Both in the literal sense and the euphemistic one. So yeah, you're getting up, and you're taking me out, even just outside this base."

"It's  _cold_ outside this base."

"You're the one with the space-time ninjutsu," she protested. "Take us somewhere warm."

"It's warm in bed," he pointed out. "I'm warm  _now_."

"You're a lazy, shitty old man," she told him. "How old even are you? Like forty?"

"Forty?" he protested. "I'm twenty-three!"

"Well, you've got the energy of a forty-year-old. C'mon, let's  _do_ something!"

He grunted, and she grabbed his arm and  _yanked_ , and he tumbled out of bed. He had a loose shirt on, and sleep pants, and the shirt rode up, exposing flesh that looked oddly similar to Zetsu's - his left half was normal, if a little tan for an Uchiha, and his right was all that white, waxy, half-melted skin.

She averted her eyes, and chose not to comment. He had a pale white arm, too, but she didn't want to pry. She had her own body issues, and he would share them in his own time, or not at all.

He made an indecipherable noise, and huffed at her. "You gonna wear something for the cold?"

"These are like, the only clothes I have," she pointed out, slightly miffed.

"Oh," he said, sobering immediately. "Shit. I had no idea! Man, you should have told me. Fuck. I'm a huge asshole. I've been just assuming this whole time and you, well, you had nothing to wear. I just thought you - nevermind."

"Don't beat yourself up too much," she protested. "I like this outfit. And this is expensive ninja-grade clothing. Can't exactly go out and buy these anywhere."

"I got a guy," he said, standing up, and moving away, towards his room. "A smuggler, in Lightning Country. He gets me clothes. I can get him a message. Can't get stuff today, but with time, he does it. You got anything you want?"

"Stuff like this, I guess." She thought about it, following him. "I like it, and I'm done caring about what other people think of me. And," she mused, "if people underestimate me because of my age, that's good. I've spent my entire life trying to get people to take me seriously, and now, that can work to my advantage."

"Mhmmm," he called, from inside his closet.

"Hey, are you listening?" she called. "If you're not, I'm going to punch you into next week."

"Sounds good," he said.

"You're not listening!"

"What?"

" _I said_ ," she shouted, " _You're not listening!_ "

"I am," he said, coming out of the closet. "You don't care about being taken seriously anymore, and you're going to  _try_ to punch me into next week."

She sneered at him.

"Right." He was wearing a cloak, now, a big black one with a deep hood. "Okay, I'm ready. Where do you want to go?"

"I think you owe me dango," she informed him, primly. "So fire up the swirly eye thing. Let's go."

"It's not a swirly eye thing! It's called Kamui," he protested.

Just then, Zetsu popped up, out of the ground of the chamber in a shower of dirt.

Itachi jumped back, but Obito was covered in dirt.

"Thanks, you inconsiderate plant."

Zetsu cocked his head. "Orochimaru-san gave me the plans. Would you like to see?"

"Yes," Itachi agreed, immediately. "I would."

"Oh, alright," Obito grumbled. "In the main room, though. Not here."

"Why?" Zetsu asked. "You mean you don't like holes dug into your personal space?"

"When did you get this sassy?" Obito asked. "Itachi, I'm blaming you. Somehow, you've corrupted my plant friends, too."

"I'm nice to Zetsu," she said, primly. "He likes me because I'm not a shitty old man."

Zetsu glanced at both of them, let out a wheezing noise that could have been laughter, and popped back into the ground.

"Sage, he's so weird," Obito commented.

"See, this is why he likes me more than you," Itachi pointed out, wisely.

He stepped forward, and grabbed her hand, and then they were back in the common room. The base was made up of a long hallway, a large common room, a small bathroom, and a few personal rooms, mostly used by Obito and Zetsu. She'd gotten her own, but she mostly just used it for sleeping, as she owned very few possessions.

The common room had the two makeshift cots from their eye surgery, and a table. Zetsu had deposited a scroll there, and he was waiting impatiently.

"Very interesting," Zetsu commented. "Your Orochimaru has some fascinating ideas."

Itachi looked over the scroll. A body was outlined, and it was fascinating. Orochimaru had spent hours on this, clearly, and it showed. Most of the lower abdomen was totally alien, excluding most of the digestive system, including a long, thin organ that was labeled 'venom sac' and another, round-looking one that was labeled 'sage chakra enzyme production, filtered.'

That wasn't all - there were two hearts, four lungs, and two stomachs, and the brain stem was thick with cartilage. In fact, Orochimaru's model had bones that were half-cartilage, allowing for greater flexibility. From the venom sac, there were vessels to the fingernails and mouth, with modifications for fangs, and claw-like fingernails; and the sage chakra enzyme seemed to feed directly into the bloodstream.

Itachi might have been jealous, if Orochimaru didn't plan to help give her most of these upgrades, anyway. And Obito had her left eye, which meant he'd see the chakra involved in any deception.

She was ready.

"Shall I begin?" Zetsu asked.

"As you wish," Obito said, coolly. "Do not forget the failsafe within our gift for Orochimaru. We are empowering him significantly. It would not do for him to turn on us."

"As you say, Madara-sama," he said. "Itachi-sama." He took the scroll, and retreated back into the ground.

"Why are you Itachi-sama?" he asked, indignantly. "He only calls me Madara-sama because the actual Madara told him to. That doesn't seem fair."

"Maybe he just realizes how much of a dork you are, now that he's seen a stylish human being like myself," Itachi replied.

"What's with you today?"

She frowned, made a face, and held her stomach. "I think I'm coming down with something," she said, sharply.

"Oh! Are you alright? What's wrong? Is it something I can do?"

She laughed. "I don't have any dango."

"You're such a shit," he protested. "Fine. Whatever. I got dressed for it and everything."

He held out his hand, and she took it.

* * *

Sasuke had barely gotten through the gate into the clan compound - there was no longer anyone guarding it, now that the Uchiha had no staff for that - when a hand clamped down on his shoulder.

"Hey, now, Sasuke, where are you going?" Shisui asked. His hand came off Sasuke's shoulder, his eyes hooded.

"Home," Sasuke replied.

"Not so fast, I think."

Sasuke didn't have anything planned, anyway. It was late enough that there wasn't much point in heading off to a training ground.

He stopped, and turned to face Shisui. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Walk with me. I want to show you something," Shisui offered. "Did you eat yet?"

"I did," Sasuke said. "Why?"

"Just wanted to make sure you got fed," Shisui said, lightly. "I take my duties seriously, you know."

"You don't have any duties," he snapped back. "You're not my brother."

"No," he agreed, lightly. "But that doesn't mean I ought not to take care of you." He regarded Sasuke, calmly. "We're both Uchiha. That means something different now than it did before."

Before. What a simple word for so drastic a change. Before what? Before Itachi. The students hadn't really noticed the difference, other than Sai. Naruto certainly hadn't. But the teachers looked at him differently, with sadness, or fear, or a mix of both. He wasn't sure he liked the attention.

"So where are we going?" he asked, setting aside that comment. He couldn't very well argue, because he did want someone to look after him. His mother did, but he missed Itachi, and his father.

"Somewhere," Shisui replied, evasively. "But first, I hear you were in detention all week, for beating someone up. What would Itachi say?"

"She'd congratulate me on winning." Sasuke stuck out his jaw, challengingly. "The kid had special training, so he was a real challenge."

"I heard why, too. She doesn't need you to defend her," Shisui pointed out.

"She's my  _sister_ ," Sasuke snapped. " _My sister_. I warned him not to talk crap about her, but he went ahead and did it anyway."

"Was any of the stuff he said untrue?"

"Yes," he said, sharply. "He called her scum."

"Sasuke," Shisui said, very carefully. "I think that you should choose your battles."

"That's exactly what Itachi would say," Sasuke shot back. "And I did choose them. I'd fight for my sister any day, any time. She's my sister. I love her."

"Then choose a battle that won't land you in a week's worth of detention," Shisui retorted. "You're right, I'm not your sister. But I'm here, and I'm older than you, so that's my advice."

They passed through the main thoroughfare, as Sasuke chewed on that. The district was chilly, and subdued in the evening light. Sasuke was used to it being more full of life, but the streets were almost empty. They passed the senbei shop, and the old man there regarded them with a cool expression, and Shisui put a hand on Sasuke's shoulder.

They walked on, towards the older part of the district. The Naka shrine was close, and the similarly-named river that flowed nearby had some of the oldest, and the biggest homes. Not Sasuke's house, which was centrally located, but some of the more important or older branches of the Uchiha lived here.

Shisui led him up the steps to one such house, and old, traditional-style complex, not quite as grand as Sasuke's, but close. There noise inside the house was oddly loud, but Shisui opened it without knocking.

Sasuke thought that was rude, but he followed anyway, toeing off his sandals.

Inside, a dark-haired little girl, looking roughly three or four, was giggling and shrieking and sprinting for all she was worth. She was quick, too, for her age.

Shisui didn't hesitate - he darted forward, and grabbed her around the waist, lifting her up and putting her over his shoulders. "Whoa there, Aiko-chan," he said, smiling. "What are you running from?"

"Nothin'," the girl muttered, sullenly.

"Oh, okay, then. You won't mind if I go find Osamu-sama, and ask him, then?"

"No!" she yelled, and tried to squirm away, but Shisui held firm.

Sasuke was flabbergasted. What  _was_ this place? He wanted to ask, but the girl caught sight of him and squeaked, hiding her face in Shisui's curly hair.

"That's just Sasuke-kun, Aiko-chan. Can you say hi?"

She shook her head, firmly, and Shisui grinned. "She's shy at first, but soon she'll be talking your ear off."

"What is this place?" Sasuke asked.

"This is Uchiha Osamu-sama's house," he declared. "He's the only member of the Council left, and acting Clan Head."

"So Aiko-chan is his daughter?" asked Sasuke.

"No," Shisui said. "This is what I mean. We're all Uchiha. Her parents aren't around, anymore, so she stays here."

"Oh," Sasuke murmured, dumbstruck.

The door to the living area slid open, then and a pretty teenage girl, another Uchiha, stepped out. "Oh, good, you're here!" she said, smiling at Shisui. "And you caught Aiko-chan. One day, I swear that girl's going to be as fast as you."

"I look forward to the competition," Shisui returned, lightly. "Izumi-san, this is Uchiha Sasuke. Sasuke, this is Uchiha Izumi. She helps out around here."

"Hello, Izumi-san," he said, politely.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun," she replied, kindly. "Why don't you both come in?"

"Sure," Shisui said, and nudged Sasuke forward. He stepped into the room, watching as a whole bunch of children played together - a sullen boy who looked to be older than Sasuke with a long face, twin boys who had to be five or six playing with blocks, a girl around his age who was reading quietly in a corner, and a little baby, in the lap of an old man who looked like a turtle.

He had to be Uchiha Osamu, and he was gently reading to the baby, smiling, and looking very soft.

Shisui came up behind him, and deposited the little girl on the carpet, near where the comfortable armchair, incongruous in the traditional setting, sat.

"Osamu-sama," Shisui said.

"Shisui-kun," he said, in his low, rumbling voice. "How lovely to see you. And Sasuke-kun, as well."

"Osamu-sama," Sasuke delicately repeated.

Shisui sat down next to him, on the carpet, and patted the spot next to him. Sasuke sat.

"I asked Shisui to bring you here today for a reason," the old man said, in that slow voice of his. "I think it may do you some good, to come here."

"Why?" Sasuke asked. He didn't see the point.

"If you do, I shall teach you what I taught your sister," Osamu rumbled, softly. "An accumulation of what the Uchiha clan knows of fuuinjutsu."

Sasuke's mouth opened, soundlessly. That was no small thing - the knowledge of sealing was jealously guarded, even among the village.

"Of course, you will have to help out around here, but that is not hard, for a young man like you, is it?" he asked.

"Sure," he said. "But I don't get why you want  _me_. I don't know anything about taking care of kids."

"When I was eleven, and Itachi was six," Shisui piped up, next to him. "I was ordered to train her, by your father. Before then, people called me a prodigy, and I was already a genin. I thought I was the best. But then Itachi showed me that even at that age, I still had a lot to learn. I think it'd be good for you. Kids'll surprise you, and you can learn a lot by showing others what you can do."

Sasuke looked at him dubiously, but he figured that he was getting enough out of it, even if he wasn't sure he would get anything out of looking after the kids. He could probably just bring some homework, and do it in the room, and get away with it.

"Okay," he agreed, readily.

"Good!" Shisui said, grabbing him and picking him up. "Well, here's what you need to know: Aiko is trouble, so you need to keep one eye on her at all times - if you can't see her, she's up to no good. Hotaru likes to read, so just let her do her thing…"

He dragged Sasuke around, explaining the children and their habits. Sasuke, however, didn't miss the twinkle in Uchiha Osamu's eyes, nor the way he absentmindedly went back to reading.

Clearly, he was going to get more than he signed up for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Fourth of July, for all my American readers!


	4. Rinnegan

Today was the day.

Itachi was ready, Obito was ready, and Zetsu was ready. The procedure was to happen in Orochimaru's base, as he had a setup with advanced medical equipment. Zetsu was scornful of such things, but Itachi couldn't fault erring on the side of caution.

Obito was waiting in the common room of the underground complex where they had stayed. There was no need to hide, for the moment, as Zetsu knew and approved of the current plan. He was the only other person that was a part of this complex, and Itachi could understand why they stayed here - it was a useful space, if small, and clearly where Obito spent most of his time.

He took them through Kamui to the same room, where Orochimaru and Zetsu waited, both looking eager, though in different ways. Orochimaru had that bright, eager gleam of intellect in his eyes, while Zetsu just looked hungry. He was holding a long, thin package, wrapped in cloth.

"You haven't eaten anything in the last twelve hours, correct?" Orochimaru asked.

"No," Itachi said.

"Good," he rasped. "Let us begin." He led them through a few corridors, into a dark operating theater. Itachi activated her Mangekyo, and scanned the room - it was clean, sterile, and free from outside chakra.

Zetsu deposited his package, which turned out to be a tube of fluids, with a bunch of flesh floating inside. It looked gross, but the chakra signatures - five of them - were all powerful. She could see Hashirama's bright and clear like summer, and an oily one that must be the sage chakra enzyme. Two more were bright and sharp, like ice, and a third was oddly clear.

"The organ that produces sage chakra will need a clever bit of fuuinjutsu that I designed. Normally I push my own chakra into it, allowing the subject a measure of control, but I sense that would not be acceptable," Orochimaru explained.

"However, if it works as intended, this procedure will change your chakra signature. Thus, the seal cannot be applied, currently. I will need to take a sample, once the new signature settles, to apply the seal that will allow you to control the transformation."

"That is acceptable," she said, coolly.

"As I thought. A post-op checkup may be necessary, once you are feeling up to it. I assume your… caretaker can handle that."

"I can," Obito said, in his deep voice.

"Excellent. Disrobe, and lay down on the table," he ordered. "I imagine the procedure will be almost unimaginably painful. Thus, I would strongly advise a sedative."

"Of course," she agreed, undressing. She kept her eyes carefully away from the rest of the group, as they stood and watched her disrobe.

Once she was naked, she turned, and laid down on the table, staring at the ceiling above her. "I'm ready," she said, happy that her voice did not waver.

"Interesting," Orochimaru murmured, but he made no further comment.

Obito leaned over, and brushed her hair behind her, comfortingly. "The sedative?" he asked.

Orochimaru fed an IV into her arm, and murmured, "We will have to give her a larger dose, I expect."

"Done," Obito said, and Itachi felt the soothing pressure take her away.

* * *

When she woke, she was disoriented, like she'd had weird dreams. She felt stiff, and ached all over.

She made to get out of bed, but a sharp ache, centered around her thighs and belly roared up, and she stopped.

"Hey, hey," Obito said, in his normal voice. "You're alright."

"Obito?" she asked, confused. "Where am I?"

"Still in Orochimaru's lab," he said. "How do you feel?"

"Stiff," she protested. "Sore."

"Well, you're more than half goo, now. I expect some pain happened. And you got most of your musculature replaced," he pointed out. "Any sharp pains?"

"No."

"Well, that's good. Do you feel hungry, at all?"

"A little," she said.

"Well, eat something," he said, spooning her some rice. Her arms felt weak, moving sluggishly, so he hand-fed her. Which was embarrassing, but not the end of the world.

"You haven't asked yet," she said between mouthfuls.

"I am curious," he admitted. "But it may not have happened yet. Zetsu said it took time for Madara's to develop."

"I don't feel any-" And then it happened: a rushing of cool, soothing chakra rose up from her navel, through her throat, choking her, and then, and then it was in her eyes, and she had to blink, brightly, painfully.

They watered, and everything was blurry for the longest moment. And then, blessedly, it cleared, and her head stretched to accommodate all the new colors she could see - each thing she could see had at least two: grey, stone walls now had brown and blue hues, echoing through them, and the light was white, yellow and green, somehow.

But Obito was the most beautiful - she could see his half-and-half skin tone, the red of his eyes, the black of his hair, but she could also see the pale green of the Hashirama cells, the inky purple-black of the Mangekyo, and the blue in his hair. He was a hundred colors at once, almost dizzying to look at.

"Wow," he said. "I guess that answers that."

"Yeah," she murmured, still transfixed. She felt strong beyond measure, like power lurked under her skin, and the possibilities pawed at her, like attention-seeking puppies. She knew now, what she could do, and there was so much of it.

"Well, congratulations." He grinned. "As far as I know, you're the second person since the Sage of Six Paths to develop the Rinnegan."

"That's nice," she informed him. "Can I have more drugs now? Everything hurts."

"Once you drink some water," he told her, reaching over and pulling her up, and holding a glass of water to her lips. She gulped a few mouthfuls, and he let her rest.

She was asleep within seconds.

* * *

Orochimaru hummed, slightly, as he stood, in the new body. He found it was strong, resilient, and responsive to touch. If he flexed a certain tendon in his wrist, he could see the gentle swell of venom in his fingertips, on his nails. It was exquisite. And his adaptation of Juugo's anatomy seemed to be working fine. He had no need to apply the curse seal to himself, but perhaps Madara would miss it, if he slipped a bit into little Itachi…

He had no intentions of truly sabotaging their experiment, but as powerful a body as that, he could not resist.

Just in case he needed somewhere to flee to, or the time came when she was totally spent, and not protecting herself against his chakra enough. He was nothing if not prepared, although the power of the Uchiha was not to be underestimated. The power of the Rinnegan, too, was spoken of only in whispers.

He, however, had powerful tools of his own. This body might not have been born with the Sharingan it held, but he only had to think, and the power of the Uchiha's famous dojutsu was his.

It was a kingly gift, and, not for the first time, he wondered just why Madara wanted all of this power for his allies, and none of it for himself. He had to have something over Uchiha Itachi, something big.

Orochimaru was no fool, and he'd looked up the girl the second they'd left him, that first time. He had not been in Konoha for years, but he still had agents working there. More than one of them worked for Shimura Danzou, and though he'd lost one informant, he learned that Uchiha Itachi was considered a wanted criminal for killing forty-one people, including Danzou himself, and her own father.

A little bit more digging, and he learned that she had fled after eliminating a secret black ops division that wasn't supposed to have existed. Small wonder. Konoha proved, yet again, that the Hatake boy was the exception, and they did not have a good track record with their geniuses.

It was a shame that Madara had snatched her up so quickly. He would have loved for the chance to possess such a worthy creature.

He continued his self-examination. It was a powerful vessel. He was not displeased, and the nature of the cells allowed for a large degree of regeneration - the creature, Zetsu, had explained that he would likely not have the need for new hosts, not after moving to this one.

He could only hope that was true.

He moved through a set of exercises, as was his custom after a new body. He ran, he jumped, he ran through hand signs, and he put it through its paces. It was exceptional - none of his previous attempts came close to this.

And the Sharingan - it was sublime. With it, he could copy any jutsu, and his combat abilities would be increased. With it, he would be unstoppable.

He turned, and swept from the room. It was time, to check on his patient. He was between useful assistants at the moment - the last one had been a fool. He had gotten himself killed. Orochimaru felt a small, thin pang of longing for Anko.

He tossed that aside, however. He had made the choice to abandon her long ago. She should not have to suffer for his mistakes any more.

He stepped through the door to the subject's room, stepping through.

The girl lay in the bed, looking bored, while the pale creature that was called Zetsu leaned down, and whispered in her ear. She was eyeing him, languidly, occasionally commenting but not engaging fully.

Orochimaru approached. The creature looked up, and smiled wickedly, knowingly, at him. He ignored it, even as the likely planes of attack flicked into view, from the Sharingan.

"May I have a word with the patient?" he asked.

"No," Zetsu grunted.

"I wish to examine her," Orochimaru pointed out. "The genitals are the most susceptible to infection."

"It's fine, Zetsu," the girl said. The creature eyed her, as if she was insane, but slowly stood. "I'll be fine."

He nodded, slowly, and stood. "As you wish." Zetsu then sunk into the ground, throwing up dirt.

"I do wish he wouldn't do that," he said, mildly. "It is hard to keep a place like this sterile."

"Are you actually going to examine me?" she questioned, eyeing him.

"I ought to," he said. "But you would likely be in intense pain if you were suffering from infection."

"If you must," she agreed.

He nodded, surprised, and peeled back the covers, and she opened the loose robe. The flesh was healing nicely, and she stared resolutely away as he prodded, and poked.

"The sensation?" he asked, clinically.

"Tender," she said, quietly. "Of course, I don't really know how it's supposed to feel, but it feels tender."

"As long as it is not sharply painful," he said, hoping to reassure her. "You may cover up. I had wondered, about that. I know it's impolite to ask, but I couldn't help but notice that your previous genitals did not match the ones that you had replace them."

She stared at him, challengingly, as she swept the covers back over herself. "I was born male, but I am not," she declared. "As far as I see it, I was always a girl, and my body was defective. Now, it is not."

"I see," he said, coolly. "I had wondered…" He paused, considering how to put it. "I do not believe that I am a man. Nor do I believe that I am a woman. To me, they are nothing more than cloaks, to be donned and doffed at leisure. I can say this because I have spent time in female bodies, as well as male. "

"Kakashi-san said something similar." She shifted forward, eyes eager. "That you were neither."

"I believe so, yes," he said, settling at the end of her bed. "Not that it matters. When did you know?"

"I was a child. Since I was old enough to know that men and women were different, I have known."

"It took me much longer," he admitted. "But I am not disturbed by my shape. It would not disturb me to have a female one."

"I suppose you're luckier than me, then."

"How did you achieve your appearance?"

She paused, and leaned back, stretching out. "My clan is blessed with soft looks, for the most part. My father was different, but I would have had good bone structure, even as a man. I removed my testicles at eight years old, and I used a genjutsu to fool a doctor into thinking I was female, so I was injected with birth control that simulated a female puberty."

"That's very impressive," he allowed. "And this was satisfactory?"

"It was. I am happier now, of course, but I no longer felt the things that caused me to castrate myself and cauterize the wound."

Had he been a lesser being, he might have winced.

"Then I am lucky, if I never felt the need to do that," he asserted, gently.

"Do you never want to change what you are?" she asked, softly.

"I have tried it, but a reputation is such a useful thing."

She nodded, understanding. "But if you wanted to be divorced from the reputation," she said. "It could be a different kind of useful thing."

"Something to consider," he agreed.

Her lips twitched, and she said, "I could probably convince Zetsu to give you a female body, in case you wanted it."

"I do not need that, dear," he reassured her. "I have long been modifying my body, since I was younger than you. If I need this body to be female, I can do it myself."

Itachi nodded.

"I really must thank you, you know," he murmured, softly. "I had been researching a forbidden technique called the Edo Tensei for the Hokage, my sensei, when he found me in my lab, and told me that he was completely disgusted by everything I had done, for him. I had no idea why, of course. As far as I understood it, I had been supplied the labs and the corpses, on order of the Hokage himself.

"Who had supplied them? Why, Shimura Danzou, of course. He offered me funding, an underground lab, all the fresh subjects I could want. I succeeded, naturally, as I wanted nothing more than to make my sensei proud. I also succeeded at developing the cure for mortality, but my sensei called me a monster, an abomination. He was blind to anything else, blind to the fact that I had only wanted to serve him, despite the work being… distasteful, to him." He paused, and regarded her. She was not stupid. She understood. "I assume this sounds familiar?"

"Less so than you'd think," she said, amused, thin, snake-like fangs shining in the darkness. He felt a small thrill of pleasure at the sight. "I killed my clan for the Hokage, and he locked me away. When Shimura Danzou rewarded me by kidnapping me from the cell, and brought me before him, I wanted nothing more than revenge. I did not do it to defend myself, I did not want anything but to feel his flesh before my hands, and ruin everything he had built. You might have been justified, but I killed him in cold blood, and fled the village a criminal."

"Oh? And he did nothing to provoke you?"

"He attempted to steal my cousin's dojutsu. I imagine he might have tried to take mine, if I hadn't killed him immediately," she admitted, dark eyes bright.

"It is self-defense, then," he said, decisively. "If anyone truly believes that he had no intention of stealing your dojutsu, as well, then they are a hapless idiot."

"Thank you," she said, warily. "I appreciate you telling me this."

"Indeed. We have more in common than you'd think. I still have half a mind to steal you from Madara, you know."

She smiled, a thin, tight thing. "He went through all this effort. I can't betray him  _right_ away. Would just be bad form."

"Indeed," he smiled back at her. "But if the day comes when you need it, you can always find shelter with me," he declared. "For now, we should get you walking."

"Walking?" she asked, quickly, before she recovered and said, "Thank you, Orochimaru-san. I may yet take you up on that offer."

"Yes, dear." He offered her a hand, and she took it. Her muscles were responding well, and as she pushed herself up, she showed no sign of what must be discomfort on her face. He leaned forward, and half-lifted her off the bed, gently putting pressure on unsteady legs.

She winced, and tried to stand under her own power, but as he relaxed, she grabbed his arm, tightly.

"It's alright," he said, soothingly. "The muscles are there, and strong. They just haven't been used, yet."

She nodded, carefully, and tried to step. It was only his arm, and her tenuous grip on it, that kept her upright. As unsteady as she was, as she stepped next to him, she grew more steady, until she was walking, slowly, but carefully, beside him.

"Excellent," he said. "Do you need to use the restroom?"

"No," she blurted, half-confused. "It's been… a few days? Five? How did I not notice?"

"It's not unusual," he informed her. "I do not believe that this form creates waste the same way a human body does."

"Oh. Oh. That makes sense. Well, it could be worse. Zetsu might be a part of that, too. He's been helping me heal."

"Oh?" he asked, part politeness and part curiosity.

"He does this thing where he sits inside of me, and accelerates my healing. It's weird."

Orochimaru smiled. "I cannot imagine why you would think so."

She laughed, a strange sound. "Well, wow. Walking already. I feel better. I can probably be fine, soon."

"How does your chakra feel?"

"Icy," she said, sounding bewildered. "Must be the bits of Madara, I guess. Hashirama's chakra always felt like summer."

"Perhaps the donor found for the cells in your reproductive system was also an Uchiha?"

"Maybe. I don't actually know. That might be weird, in the future, if I ever have kids," she remarked. "What if he pops out with the Byakugan, and I just never knew?"

He found himself chuckling, despite himself. "Then you'd better brush up on the Gentle Fist."

"I suppose so, yeah." Itachi gave a tiny smile, at the thought. Orochimaru did not want to have a child of his body, ever. He would clone one, if he ever felt the need for it.

"Now that you're up and walking, you should be able to exercise more regularly. If you chakra feels whole, and consistent, then I can apply the curse mark that will allow you to harness the enzyme that gathers sage chakra into a useful form," he offered. They were alone, now, and it was as good a time as any.

"I think," she replied, slowly. "I have some familiarity with sage chakra, you see. So I think I may attempt to harness it on my own. If I become enraged, or unable to control it, then I would love a curse mark."

"Understandable," he agreed. And it was true - it did not fit into his plans, but he could admire the desire to master a new technique through willpower. His curse mark was for lesser beings, anyway, and whatever this Uchiha Itachi was, she was not lesser.

"I should also warn you that your hands contain two different venoms. If you wish the poisoning to be fatal, use your right hand. Non-fatal, your left. Your fangs can transmit either, depending on the relaxation or tightening of the muscles on the roof of your mouth. Your mouth is actually quite sophisticated. I'm rather proud of it, I must admit. Your saliva can be used as a carrier for an antidote to any of the venoms, and thus, will enable you to partake in relations. There is a gland, in the back of your throat, that will distribute the antidote. However," he explained, smiling. "Unfortunately, biting during sex will be difficult, unless you wish to poison your partner every time."

She eyed him, something wide in her gaze. "Okay. Thanks for telling me, at least."

"Let me get you back to bed, then."

"Ah, fun fun," she muttered.

"In another day, you should attempt to do some real exercise," he told her. "And in another few days, you will be in proper shape."

"That's excellent," she said. "I should not be this tired."

He chuckled, as she sat down on the bed. "Your body is healing. It needs time to do that. Rest."

She nodded, sleepy already. "Fine."

"If I see your Zetsu, I shall tell him to return."

"Mmmkay."

He left.

* * *

She stared at herself, again in the mirror. It was probably due to all this time spent underground, but she was even paler than before. Her skin was white, so pale the veins were all clearly outlined, and her hair was even longer. Unbound, it went all the way down to the backs of her knees. She had thin scars where Orochimaru had made incisions, but they would heal by the end of the day, she was told.

It was almost frightening, how she looked. It certainly wasn't how she expected to look. She was  _so_  white. She wasn't even a particularly vain person, but there was something weird about skin the shade of bone. Or snow.

Itachi felt better than ever, however, so she didn't know how to complain. And Obito had reported that Orochimaru had not tried anything - the organs were from Zetsu, and they'd followed the plans exactly.

She couldn't fault the results, even if her looks were a bit strange. Maybe she just needed sun. She was so incredibly pale. Her nails had even grown a bit long, thin, inch and a half long shards of black, hard and shining like dark glass. Thanks to Orochimaru, she could poison them, as well.

Her teeth, too, were different. The fangs were new, and turned her smile wolfish and sinister. Her new body was strange, but none of it was particularly unwelcome. If nothing else, there was the large benefit of increased combat abilities - both the physical ones, and the power of the Rinnegan.

The eyes themselves had a distinct otherness to them, as well. The Sharingan and the Mangekyo both were different, but they still both had an eye's normal structure - pupil, iris, sclera. The Rinnegan did not. It was just concentric circles, over pale lavender. No iris, no sclera, just a thin dot that might have been a pupil.

They sat, powerful and menacing, in her face. She'd never had a strong opinion on eyes as an intimidation factor - her Sharingan was a tool, a powerful one, but it was so because of what it did, not because of how it looked.

Itachi believed that the Rinnegan was menacing because of how it looked. She blinked away that thought. It was hers now.

The other thing that was finally hers now was between her legs. It was small, smooth and somehow beautiful. Not to brag, but it was one of those vaginas that looked like it had been drawn - the outer lips were the perfect size to make it just a cute little cleft.

She sort of wondered if hair would grow. So far, she hadn't seen hair grow on any parts that were Hashirama cells, but didn't Zetsu have hair on his head? And Obito did too, obviously, but that might have been there before.

Still, that paleness - it had to be sunlight or something, because it did not seem right. She clamped down on that, though. Now was a time to put this body through its paces.

She covered up before she left the bathroom, slipping on new undergarments, which was a trip - no more unsightly bumps! Smooth front Itachi, they might as well call her. She finished with a new hoodie and thigh highs combination, this time in dark red, courtesy of Obito's guy.

Itachi smiled, as she walked into the throne room, letting her face break into an uncharacteristic wide grin. "I'm so ready to kick your ass," she promised.

"Not gonna happen," he replied, mask cocked. He had switched to a different version, a pale white one with Rinnegan-like pattern of concentric circles, because he needed to be able to see through both Sharingan.

"Let's go fight. Orochimaru-san might get stroppy if we destroy his throne room. How else will he contemplate villainous plots in silence?"

"There's a nice clearing few miles out," Zetsu piped up.

"I do not use this room for that," Orochimaru muttered.

She raised her eyebrows meaningfully at Obito.

"Fine. Does your fancy new dojutsu let you teleport, Itachi-chan?"

"...No."

"Well, then, looks like you still need me," he pronounced, smugly. He turned to Orochimaru. "Would you like to witness the fruits of your labors, as well?"

"I believe that I may, yes."

"Take my hand," he ordered. "And let's go."

Orochimaru, amused, stepped forward and did so. A swirl of color later, and they were in a large field, left fallow. The woods encircled it, and a thin road ran along one side. This seemed as good a place as any, to Itachi.

She stepped away from them both, and let her eyes ease into the Rinnegan. She was more used to its strange vision, but it made the sunlight strange. It flickered oddly. Itachi tried to see the web, and it flickered into focus.

She turned, and asked, "Is the Rinnegan still on?"

"Yes," Zetsu called back. Fun. That meant that there was no point in using the Mangekyo, when she had the Rinnegan. Which was a little sad, because maybe she was biased, but her Mangekyo was sick-looking.

But hey, no changing forms necessary. That meant that she didn't have to deactivate the Rinnegan to use one of her most useful abilities, the web. She was pleased. Finally, a chance to stretch her legs!

"Don't kill me," Obito commanded, from across the field. "No Human Path, or Naraka Path, for that matter."

"I don't know those names," she called back.

"No stealing my soul, or summoning the Shinigami."

"Well, that does seem a little bit unfair," she pointed out. "Fine."

"Orochimaru," she said, tugging back her hood, and letting her long, braided hair flow free. "Call go!"

He smiled, and held up his hand. Itachi regarded Obito, and smiled.

Orochimaru dropped his hand, and she dug into both her Mangekyo powers - the web, and the senjutsu. They had finally chosen names - a strange process, but the names came from the eyes, themselves, after they had settled, a little. Omoikane, the ability to see senjutsu, and tell the intentions of the world around her, and Tenjin, the eye that gathered the senjutsu into a useable form.

They both dashed forward, and Itachi found herself pleased to be on the same wavelength. This was a spar, after all. She led with a strong right hook, but her nails got in the way. They were too long. The web told her he was going to dodge left, so she moved that way.

Obito neatly ducked under the punch, and kicked out at her, forcing her to dodge away. A false positive, so in terms of senjutsu perception, they were evenly matched. Unlike when she'd fought him weeks ago, in the outskirts of the Uchiha Clan District, she was suddenly not outmatched by him. She was just as fast, or faster, and she rolled away and came back swinging.

He ducked around her first blow, and used his reach to swipe at her head. She ducked down, jumping up with a kick that only barely missed, and he punished her with another kick, that sent her flying. It didn't even register - she was back, in his face, a second later.

She was hindered by the inability to form a proper fist. It was such a small thing, but her nails were too long, and too strong - even when she bit, she could not tear them.

So she improvised - she used long, clawlike slashes, instead of direct strikes. It was awkward, given her Uchiha-taught taijutsu, so she found herself beaten back once, or twice. He was also a grown-ass man, and she was still much shorter than him. So while they were matched, in strength and speed, he had the advantage.

He flashed forward in a double bicycle kick, and she found her forearms blocked it. She had the strength to block him, at least. A quick open backhand to the chest, and she scored her first real hit - he flew backwards in an explosion of dirt, before he bounded up, and came back with a flurry of high, smooth kicks to her head.

She ducked from the first, and hit the second with a block that sent him stumbling. She followed up with an elbow, but he glanced it off his shoulder, and jabbed her in the ribs. She punched back. He clocked her around the head, and rattled her enough to punch her away again.

She stood, angry, and ducked out of the way of another punishing kick, slashing with her right hand, this time scoring a line across his leg. He stumbled, almost immediately, and collapsed.

A tear in his pants had opened, and the wound was black underneath it.

She hacked up a ball of yellowish spit, which she smeared on the wound. Obito twisted around, his face in a rictus of pain.

"That stuff has quite a kick," he said, sheepishly. "No wonder Orochimaru was so excited."

"I tried not to cut you," she told him. "But I can't actually make a fist. I need to relearn my fighting style."

"Wouldn't it be easier, to, you know, cut your nails?" he asked.

"You'd think so," she agreed. "But I can't cut them with my teeth. Hold on." She drew a kunai, from her pouch, and tried to saw off a bit of nail. It  _scratched the kunai_ , actually. Her teeth found no purchase, and she could think of no harder substance, without serious thought. "No, doesn't work. They're really claws. Poisoned claws, actually."

"While useful, those are not really nonlethal, huh?" he asked.

"No, not really. I suppose this means we should try something else."

"Yeah, fine. Let's play genjutsu. I want to see how you are without the Mangekyo advantage."

"But I have a Rinnegan advantage," she pointed out, holding out a hand. He stood up.

"Not fair, I guess. Ninjutsu?"

She nodded. "Fine with me."

"Good," he said, and clapped his hands together. Roots erupted from the ground.

Itachi had barely a second to react, but, "Shinra Tensei." She said the words without thinking, without consciously trying to do so.

The grasping roots were shattered, like twigs, and Obito was blown off his feet. Itachi flexed a hand, just to be sure. One of her Rinnegan's powers. How interesting. Gravity, in its purest form. Her senjutsu eye - Tenjin, was refilling her reserves already.

"Alright," Obito said, flipping back up onto his feet. "No more going easy, if you're going to start with that crap."

"It was automatic," she said, almost confused.

"It's one of the Rinnegan's most powerful abilities," he returned. He flashed through handsigns. Itachi returned them - White Pillar was such a useful jutsu. Her handsigns felt slightly awkward, actually, with her longer nails. Another thing to get used to.

Obito, predictably, turned to the Mokuton. The roots, dark green, surged forward, and the bright blue threads of light flashed across them, from her hands.

The roots were stopped, but Obito clapped his hands, and they surged again. Itachi was calm, this time, as she reached out to stop them with all four hands. She had four hands now. Two more than she'd started with, but they felt like she'd had them all her life. The Rinnegan was a strange beast - it was not something she had to think about, to learn, not like the Mangekyo. It wanted to be used.

Thus, when her arms split, and suddenly she had two forearms coming from each elbow, it was not terribly confusing. The roots strained at her strength, but it was simple enough to absorb the chakra from them.

It flowed, like hot, wet, fudge, into her. It was delicious. Orgasmic, even, not that she was one to use that term lightly. Like the sweetest treat she'd ever tasted. She almost staggered, with how it felt, knees weak. She might have actually orgasmed - she hadn't quite had time yet to take that part of herself for a spin.

The roots crumbled to ash under her hands, and she found herself practically buzzing with power.

She raised a hand.

"Shinra Tensei."

The entire wreckage of the roots, and thirty meters of dirt were blown into the air. Obito was still, unbothered by it, but Itachi was relatively pleased with the amount of destruction she'd wrought.

"Is that what you've got?" he asked.

"I thought we were here to test my new abilities," she said. "I still have some." Her four arms opened up, her hands coming off, exposing a link of projectiles in a glimmering, black metal, like a skeleton, in between the flesh.

The missiles launched, propelled by small jets, and sought out Obito with an unerring persistence. He raised a shield of roots, for one, and ducked through two more, and dove away from the rest.

"The fuck is that?"

The Rinnegan just hummed, happily, in her mind. It wanted to be used. She felt like she could add another pair of arms, and more heads, and transform herself entirely into a being of metal and savagery. But she didn't - instead, she tamped down on that, and her flesh sealed itself.

"Good enough?" she asked.

He huffed, slapping one last missile away. "It's a strange power, to be sure. Do you have a good feeling for it?"

"Mostly," she acknowledged. She had one last technique, as a thin spike of black metal slid seamlessly from her palm. She examined it. It was slightly pointed, just as she wanted. She wanted to dig it into flesh. That was what  _it_ wanted, somehow.

"Those metal things, Pein's bodies have them all over," Obito said.

"Huh," she thought. "It wants to be used for stabbing people."

"Well," he laughed, a little. "That's not a concerning statement at all."

"The Rinnegan is odd," she said, instead of addressing what he said. "I think I'm satisfied, though."

"Good," he replied. "I want to get away from here. One or two of the locals have already noticed us. We'll have more time to test out your abilities, in the future."

"I would like to," she admitted.

"Yes. I would also not like to reveal all of our abilities to Orochimaru."

"I'm fine with that."

"Good," he said. They turned, and walked back. Zetsu was eyeing her speculatively, like he was proud. Orochimaru was implacable, as usual.

"We must return," Obito commanded in that deep voice of his. "I do not wish to call attention to your base, Orochimaru-san."

"As you wish," he agreed.

Zetsu vanished into the ground, and Itachi took Obito's outstretched hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, leave me some lovely comments! Also, if you'd like to talk more about this story, I made a discord. Feel free to bug me on there, if you have questions or want to leave feedback more personally. [Here's the link](http://discord.gg/brR55CP)


	5. Abura Soba

Taste buds were strange, to think about. Itachi had lived twice, and part of the strangeness was from that - in her last life, she had preferred savory things like meats and steaks. This body's tastes ran far more to the sweet side. She'd never had much of a sweet tooth, in that other life, but now she had a very bad one. It was jarring to consider how much her tastes had changed. So when Obito suggested barbecue, she didn't hop on it immediately.

Maybe it was partly developmental - she had grown up eating sweet things. Savory was less a part of the diet in this world. But she didn't know anything scientific about that - only her observation. And this body didn't prefer steak.

Of course, Obito had something to comment, about all this, as they strolled down the street. "Well, you have to eat protein, too. You're a growing girl."

She eyed him, resisting the urge to snarl. "Oh, yes, because barbecue is the healthiest thing I could be eating right now."

"It's healthier than dango!"

She paused, right in the middle of the street in Tea Country. They'd made minor concessions to their surroundings: Tea Country was near enough to Konoha that word might have gotten out, so Itachi wore non-descript clothes, and had hidden her forehead protector. Obito wore his mask, but not his Akatsuki cloak.

"Healthier than sweets, yes, I am sure," she agreed, dryly. "But surely I need something that's actually good for me, sometimes?"

"Fine, fine," he agreed. "What about ramen?"

She rolled her eyes. "You eat so poorly." She folded her arms, however, and said, "Fine." She did like umami, and the salty flavors of the broth, so it was a good compromise.

"Excellent!"

"Are you weirdly enthusiastic about ramen, too?"

He paused, cocking his head. "Ramen?"

"The kid, the kyuubi jinchuuriki is obsessed with ramen. He reminds me of what you seemed to have been like." She paused, and smiled, a little. "He always crowed to everyone who could hear about how he was going to be the Hokage someday. Does that," she grinned, wider, now, "sound familiar?"

"No," he said, laughing. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, Naruto-kun's favorite place in the entire universe was the ramen stand, Ichiraku. He always wanted to go there, never anywhere else."

He shrugged. "How often did you treat the kyuubi jinchuuriki to meals?"

"Not too often," she said. "But the poor kid was so unloved it hurt to look at him. He was alone. Entirely alone. No parents, no one taking care of him, besides a monthly visit from the Sandaime. I'm not - not a person with a bleeding heart, or anything, but… something about him made me care."

She felt like she knew him, was what it was, why she cared. But she couldn't explain how she just knew things about people sometimes, without mentioning too much about how she'd lived twice.

"Look at that," he agreed. "Another similarity."

"You're an orphan?" she asked, happy to jump on a new topic.

"The only person that took care of me was my grandmother, and I was just as much taking care of her as it was she was taking care of me," he explained. "It was rough. I was too soft, too careful, and a bad shinobi." He chuckled, to himself. "Even my eyes weren't up to snuff. I had to wear goggles all the time, to stop dirt from getting into my eyes."

"Naruto-kun has goggles, too," she said.

He laughed again. "It's like history is repeating itself. You're your mother, and I'm Naruto-kun."

"My mother?" she asked.

"Mikoto was always kind to me. Of course, she wasn't loved by the clan, much, either. She felt like she deserved to be Clan Head, but she was a girl. Girls don't get to be clan head. She was very angry about that sort of thing."

"Oh," Itachi said. She'd never seen any evidence of that, but she had been wrong about her parents so much before that she didn't want to speculate. It was a sure way to be wrong, about a great many things.

"Anyway, I can't imagine my grandma's still alive. She was called Uchiha Michiko."

"No, I've never known anyone by that name," Itachi said.

Obito slumped, at this. "And your mother?"

"What about her?"

He glanced over at her. "How is she these days?"

"I don't know. She barely spoke to me, before the massacre," she said. "She did not agree with my decision to present myself as female. She refused to acknowledge any of it."

"Oh," he said, quietly. "That's rough."

"It is what it is. She loves me, but she does not agree with my choices. I imagine she agrees even less with my decision to kill my father."

"Heavy," Obito murmured. "Sorry for dredging up bad memories."

"You couldn't know," Itachi demurred. "It's in the past."

"What about that senbei shop? Run by that guy and his wife - Teyaki, or something?"

"Yes, they're still there."

"Has the senbei gotten any better?" Obito asked. "It was not very good. I think the only reason they were in business was brand loyalty, honestly."

"It was never my favorite," Itachi agreed, neutrally.

"You're awfully polite, Itachi."

"It is proper to be polite to elders," Itachi returned. "I am sure they are making the best senbei they can make."

"See, that's the weird thing about you, Itachi. You come off this cold fish, but then you're super polite. Makes you seem like a real serial killer, you know?"

"Thanks for that, Obito," she replied, keeping her reply as dry as she could possibly make it. "Really makes a girl feel special, calling her a serial killer."

He laughed, awkwardly, and lifted open the flap to the shop. It was thin, and dingy, and the sign read only 'Ramen,' which did not encourage Itachi's opinion of it very much. Still, she dutifully followed and seated herself at the bench, settling in next to Obito. A thin, wiry man, who looked like he was half-leather gruffly bustled up.

"Abura soba," Obito ordered. The man gruffly nodded.

"I would like just miso, please," Itachi said, nudging him.

The man gave her an odd look, and nodded.

"The old guy doesn't care about that stuff," he said.

"Oh? What is abura soba, anyway?"

"It's a speciality of this place. Ramen without broth. I don't love the soupy bit, so I always order that."

"Heathen," she declared. "I take everything I said back. Uzumaki Naruto would be ashamed of you."

He was wearing a mask, so she couldn't see his expression, but he glanced away. "Uzumaki Naruto, huh? That's the kid's name?"

"Yeah," she said. "Why?"

"Nothing."

"It's not nothing, clearly. What do you know about the kid?"

He sighed, and dragged a hand through his hair. "It's complicated. You know who his parents were?"

"No, I don't think so," Itachi said. Maybe? She wasn't sure. It hadn't seemed important - they were dead. Dead was dead, until she realized she was able to resurrect people. "I know there was an Uzumaki clan, so I figured he was just one of the last ones. They were mostly wiped out when Uzu fell, so…" She shrugged. "It made sense in my head."

"Heh," he said. "Well, long story short, his father was the Fourth."

"What?" Itachi asked, almost too loudly. She stopped, and moderated her volume. "I can't believe what you're saying. If his father was a war hero, why in the name of the Sage is he alone at eight?"

"I don't know," Obito admitted. His voice sounded rough. "But his father wasn't an Uzumaki. His mother was - I assume he was given the name to hide the fact that he was the Yondaime's son."

"That's a big secret," Itachi mused. "I realized he was the kyuubi jinchuuriki, but… I don't know how I missed that."

"I expect the Sandaime forbade anyone to speak of it." He sighed, long and hard. "I expect he thinks he can hide everything from Naruto-kun for his own protection."

"The Sandaime," she said, slowly. "He always blamed my family for the death of the Yondaime. He claimed that the Kyuubi was controlled by an Uchiha - my father, I expect."

Obito glanced away, threading his fingers together on the counter. He gripped tightly, his knuckles white.

"He wasn't wrong," he said, so softly that Itachi almost missed it. "Because I killed the Yondaime, and his wife. The Yondaime, who was my sensei, the closest thing I had to a father, and his wife, who treated me like a little brother. She made me call her Kushina-nee. Kakashi and I."

Itachi was silent, for a long time. She chewed on that - on a lot of things: the silence, the fact that Obito and Kakashi were on a genin team together, on the fact that Kushina was gentle and loving, on the fact that the Yondaime was their sensei, and the fact that he had clearly acted the way Katsu-sensei had towards Kane: he had taken over in the wake of a parents' absence.

"Madara did it, not you," Itachi told him firmly.

"I did it," he said. "I was so angry, so furious, I felt so spurned by everything and everyone that I tried to burn the world, and remake a false one, instead. One that was free of pain, and suffering, and death. One that was better than this one. How foolish I was. How sentimental. How much suffering could have been avoided if I had just accepted that the girl I liked was dead and there was nothing that could be done about it?"

"Your feelings matter," Itachi argued, quietly. "They do. Sometimes I stop and think about the kinds of suffering I could have avoided if I had just accepted I was a boy, despite how it made me feel. It's not productive. Feelings are real. Don't beat yourself up over it."

Obito didn't reply to that, simply staring at the little stand of chopsticks, like it contained all the mysteries of the universe.

Itachi decided to try a different tack. "So it was true? That an Uchiha set the Kyuubi loose."

"It was."

"That was why my clan died. It was the excuse Danzou used to marginalize us." She said the words quietly, but she could tell from the angle of Obito's head that he was upset.

They were interrupted by the arrival of the food - Itachi and Obito broke their chopsticks, and she dug in. Obito lifted up his mask, exposing his mouth and throat, and did the same.

There was a long silence, where Itachi distracted herself by eating the ramen - slurping it up, so she didn't flip out at Obito. She might have wanted to, but there was nothing gained by doing that. There was nothing to yell at him for - it was as if a different person had done it. He, too, hadn't slaughtered the Uchiha. She had done that. He'd set things into motion, but the decision to plan a coup had been entirely their own fault.

"I cannot fault you," she decisively said. "It wasn't your fault that my clan died. It was mine. I made that decision. I intend to own it. I was justified, but it was mine alone."

"Thank you very much, Itachi. For what it's worth, I am sorry."

"It's Naruto-kun that you need to apologize to. Not today, but someday. He needs to understand. Even if you would take that back now - he needs to understand why he grew up alone."

"Okay," he said, swallowing a mouthful of brothless noodles. "Would you like to try? It's really good."

"Ah. No," she told him.

"I understand," he said, softly, picking at his food. "I'll tell him. Everything. I promise. The Yondaime was my sensei. How could I have betrayed him? I was so angry, so full of hate. Madara took everything I was and twisted it into something else."

"I can't imagine how that feels," Itachi said, before she ate another mouthful of noodles. "To have lost a decade like that…"

"It's not easy," he admitted. "But what can I do? I can't go back in time."

"No, I suppose not."

The silence stretched between them again, as they continued to eat. Itachi was mostly eating for taste, at this point, since she was full, and probably didn't need to eat any of this. The surgery had eliminated most of her need for food, at this point.

She had learned that a smaller stomach really did stop her from eating as much - her usual portion had nearly made her sick, and she wasn't the kind of person to overeat. Once all the noodles were gone, she stopped, and pushed the bowl aside. Obito still hadn't, but he didn't have a hilariously small stomach. He even got a second bowl.

She changed the topic, instead of going back to the previous one. "So… these cloaks."

"What?" Obito asked, sounding like he had been lost in thought. "What cloaks?"

"I mean, did you guys decide that you needed a unifying symbol for your boy band?"

"We have a girl," he protested. "We can't be a boy band."

"I don't think you understand that much about boy bands, Obito. You need more than one girl to make it co-ed."

"That's not true."

"What do you know about it, old man?"

He huffed, and shoveled more noodles into his mouth without answering. Itachi grinned.

"That's as good as conceding the argument," she proclaimed.

"A girl cannot, by definition, be in a boy band." He said this with the finality of truth. "Therefore, I am right and the cloaks aren't a way to distinguish the boy band."

"Well, clearly this cannot be settled right now, but seriously: why the cloaks?"

He folded his hands above his second empty bowl. "A common symbol helps foster group dynamics. It's why the forehead protector exists, after all."

"Right, so is there some tailor somewhere that makes them for you?"

"You have an awful lot of questions about some cloaks." He sighed. "But yeah, they're made by a tailor in Rain. I guess it was an original design, created by the guy who originally founded it."

She shrugged. "They're distinct. I didn't realize how identifiable they were until I saw those two guys. It's a nice bit of PR."

"You're a weird kid, Itachi-chan."

"And you're a shitty old man, but you don't see me making a huge deal of it."

He just sighed, and kept eating.

There was another silence, to that, while Obito worked on his third bowl. Itachi was flabbergasted, but she supposed that she shouldn't be surprised. She had, after all, seen Naruto eat twice this in one sitting, and he was eight.

Itachi was just not feeling food, as much. She was beyond stuffed. She did consider whether removing the broth allowed one to more completely fill up on noodles, and that she ought to tell Naruto this strategy, but then she realized that she could no longer treat him to Ichiraku anymore, being a criminal, and despaired.

She cast around for something to distract herself with.

"Obito, tell me about the next person in Akatsuki we're going to meet."

"Oh, well, I had actually thought about Pein, but it might be easier to do a test run, I think. So, Hoshigaki Kisame. He's a member of Akatsuki, but he's been with me from the start. Loyal to the real plan, not Pein." He had another mouthful of noodles. "Good fighter. Sort of revels in it. You two would get along well, I think."

"Well, here's hoping we do."

"He killed his team to protect information for Kiri, and left the village," Obito explained, gesturing with his chopsticks. "I found him, and he promised him something better. I don't know how he'll take it, knowing that my promises are dust."

"So we might have to fight?"

"It's possible. We can win, but he likes to do obnoxious things like fill entire valleys with water."

Itachi frowned. "How much chakra does this guy have?"

"Well, they don't call him the Tailless Tailed Beast for nothing."

"Right," she agreed, brushing a bit of noodle away from her thigh-highs. "You people and your massive amounts of chakra."

"I only have a ton because I'm made mostly of Hashirama cells and spite these days. Shouldn't you have a bunch, too?"

She huffed. "I'm not a chakra powerhouse. I mean, yes, I have more, but not to that extent."

"There's only so many people that would consider filling a valley with water made from their chakra worthwhile, yes."

Itachi folded her arms. "And yes, I'm not one of them. I mean, honestly, Obito."

He shrugged, sort of aggressively. "I don't want to assume."

"Well, I'm not one of those people," Itachi said, fiercely. "Since I was a child, I was always had more skill than chakra. It's part of the reason why I focused on genjutsu - it's not as much of a drain as ninjutsu techniques."

"I never knew that," Obito said. "The one time we fought, seriously, it was over before chakra reserves became an issue."

"That, and my genjutsu was neutralized because you had the Mangekyo."

"Well, you won't have that problem now," Obito told her, putting his bowl aside. "I don't think Akatsuki currently has a genjutsu specialist, so you should be very effective against any of them."

"That's excellent to hear," she acknowledged. "My Mangekyo technique, Tenjin, should help compensate for my lack of chakra - a way of gathering sage chakra without standing perfectly still. So, yes, it's not that the guy who can make literal entire lakes of water by himself should be unbeatable for me, but no, I still don't have a ton of chakra."

"I didn't mean to offend," Obito told her. "I'm just surprised, that a great genius from a great clan has such a drawback."

"None of us are perfect," Itachi countered. "We all have weaknesses."

"I suppose you're right."

"It's - don't worry about it, Obito."

"Alright," he said, stretching and standing up. "Do you wanna get out of here?"

"Alright."

He stood, and laid out a few notes to pay for the meal. The chef came over, and took it, and smiled, and then they were out the door. Back to the hideout. Maybe Itachi would see about getting a haircut soon. It was getting rather long, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the lovely people in my Discord server advised I went too abruptly from the previous chapter to the next two, so here's a little breaking-up chapter in between. Some nice charming banter between our duo. Thanks, SpokenSoftly.


	6. Ghosts

Sasuke plodded over to the tree by the river, feeling exhausted. He had just spent a few hours at the makeshift Uchiha orphanage, after a day at the Academy. It was cold, and windy today, and his cloak wasn't quite enough to keep him as warm and dry as he'd wanted.

Shisui was supposed to be meeting him and working on his wire jutsu. He was looking forward to it, but he was tired.

It had already been a long week, and it was only half over.

He slumped, leaning against the bark, sitting in a nice silence.

Until it was broken.

"What's got you so down, little brother?"

Sasuke leapt up, spinning around. Itachi was there! She was dressed in a dark green hoodie, with black leggings. Her skin looked white, practically ghostly in contrast, but it was still Itachi. His sister.

He ran to her, buried his face in her hoodie, and inhaled her scent - that same soft, floral scent with a hint of steel underneath. She might have been pale and thin, and her hitai-ate scratched, but she smelled the same. She smiled at him - a real, genuine, one - and ran a hand through his hair. He could tell that her teeth were slightly pointed, but he was too excited to care.

"Nee-san!" he yelled, muffled in the thick fabric.

"Hello, Sasuke," she murmured, into his hair. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," he admitted. "I really miss you."

"I really miss you too, Sasuke," she returned. "I can't return here easily, or as much as I'd like. Please, tell me about everything. What are you studying? Do you have friends? Are you eating well enough? How is Mother?"

He smiled, a little, because Itachi was not usually so verbose. "I'm okay. The academy is boring - we're talking about survival, and I know all about that from the little trips we used to take, when I was younger. When you had more time."

Itachi's face sobered, immediately, but she nodded.

Sasuke continued, "Shisui has been working on me with wires. He says he's going to teach me his Shunshin, soon, but I'm holding out for that."

"Shisui, huh?" she asked. "He made me call him Shisui-sempai for years, and you get right to the name, huh. That seems unfair."

"You seem happier, Itachi," he told her. "You smile more, and you just made a joke."

Itachi looked startled - a rarity - before she controlled her expression, and smiled, one of her thin little fake-smiles. "It's been nice. I've been so busy for so long, I forgot how to make time for myself," she admitted. "All I've had lately is time to myself, so it's been nice."

"Okay," he agreed. "That Naruto kid has been following me around, for a while. He's okay, I guess. You can kinda call us friends."

"That's good to hear," she said, eyes twinkling. "I think he might make a good rival for you, someday."

"Come on, he's completely awful at everything! He doesn't know when to give up, but he has no skill at all, and he's totally useless at tests and quizzes. Sometimes he has these bizarre and great ideas, but they're so out of the blue that sometimes I don't even believe they'd work. He's not my rival, he's just... someone who won't leave me alone."

Itachi hmmmed, and looked down at him, eyes glinting. She held out a hand, and he noticed that she had long black nails, as long as any he'd seen, like a princess would have.

"Well, you're telling me that Naruto-kun is a slow learner, and his mind and situation aren't well-suited to the Academy, but," she held out a second hand, "he has useful qualities that can't be taught, while he lags behind on the skills and abilities that everyone learns?" she asked, quirking her mouth at him.

"Well, when you put it like that, of course it sounds different!"

"You said that you've been learning survival skills, in the academy? How is he at those?" This was going to be a point well made, he could tell.

"He's not totally awful. He's pretty good at making traps, I guess."

"Ahh, not surprising. Naruto-kun is creative, and his kind of cleverness isn't going to show up on a test. But that doesn't mean it's not there. But survival training is easy to learn. Yes, you can learn it in a classroom, but I firmly believe that Naruto-kun is one of those people that doesn't learn well in a classroom. Put him out in the wild, on his first mission out of the village, and I bet he'll pick it up fine."

"So you're saying he learns better by doing?"

"Doesn't he?"

"I guess," Sasuke said. He never thought about it like that. Naruto was an idiot, but he did always seem to do better at things he worked at. Like the Henge. He could do that fine, because he practiced it all the time.

"You'll see," she told him, running her fingers through his hair again. It was getting a little long, he'd admit, but nothing like Itachi's. She had it up in a complicated ponytail thing that piled all the hair on her head, and there certainly was a lot of it.

He smiled up at her, again, and instead of answering any of her other questions, he asked, instead, "How are you? How's the mask guy?"

"Oh, him? He's okay. For a powerful shinobi, he's a bit of a ditz, actually. I trust him enough. I'm… fine, better than ever. I don't really do much these days, except sit around and train. I did get a cool new ability, though," she said, smirking. "Wanna see?"

"Yes!" he said, eagerly.

"Hmmm," she said, and cocked her head. Her eyes changed, from their natural black, but not to the Sharingan - instead, they became light purple, filled with dark rings.

"What's that?"

"It's called the Rinnegan," she answered, eyeing him. It was a little creepy, but in a cool way. "It's extraordinarily powerful."

"Like, the legendary dojutsu? How'd you get that?"

"For an idiot, my masked friend is very clever," she demurred. It was an answer, but it wasn't an answer at the same time.

"What does it do?" he asked, eagerly, staring intently at the strange eyes.

"It does a lot of things," she replied. It seemed like she might have continued, but they were both interrupted, then, by Shisui appearing in the clearing.

"Shisui!" Sasuke yelled, smiling, and stepping forward.

But Shisui didn't have eyes for him. "Itachi," he replied, eyeing her. "You're looking… well."

"You too, Shisui-sempai," she replied, lightly. Sasuke wondered what she saw when she looked at him. He looked angry, to Sasuke. His jaw was set, and his eyebrows were drawn tightly in a frown.

"You've got a lot of nerve, showing up here."

"Oh? I came to visit Sasuke, and you." Something was tight about her expression. She stepped back from him, her hands loose by her sides.

"What were you thinking, when you killed them?" Shisui asked, harshly. He looked far more angry than Sasuke had ever seen him. "Your father! The elders! The Police! Did you ever think about any of that? And then! And  _then_! You ran away, before you could face any of the consequences. We've all been left, with  _your_ mess, to clean up."

"I did what I had to," she replied, and there was something hard about those dark, ringed eyes. Something dangerous.

"No, you did what you wanted to. You ran."

"I killed my father," she said, sneering slightly, now. He flinched away from her a little, but she still held his arm. Her eyes changed - back into a sharingan, but one with a strange pattern he had never seen before. It was black, with a red lotus flower in the middle, eight petals blooming out from the center. The petals were broken up by thin, curved lines, making them look striped. It was oddly beautiful. "And then I killed the man who threatened our clan. Did you know he was stealing our dojutsu?"

"And then you and your new friend  _fucked off_ ," Shisui spat. "The clan was massacred, the village was weak, but you were happy, weren't you?"

"You're angry, Shisui," Itachi prevaricated. "I understand that. I did not intend to abandon any of you. I wanted to protect you, so I left you out of it. I ran away, yes, rather than be executed. I hope that you can forgive for that, if it is indeed cowardice."

"Why, Itachi? We were in this together!" He was shouting, arms thrust out, tears in his eyes. Sasuke was surprised to see them. Shisui was usually so unbothered, by everything.

Itachi bowed. It was the same bow that she gave to the Elders, when they had been alive, or sometimes Father, when he had been alive, and perhaps it was the same bow she gave to someone else now. It wasn't the real sign of Itachi's allegiance, and Sasuke knew that. Sometimes, ninja have to lie. He tried to steel himself against that, watching her bow in apology to Shisui - someone who had been her best friend.

Looking at Itachi now, he couldn't separate the fake things from the real things. How could he know what her tears meant? How could he know if she meant what she said? And if Sasuke couldn't understand Itachi, how could he possibly hope to make her stay?

She looked teary as she rose. "I did not want you to suffer for my actions. You deserve a life not tainted by me, by my darkness. If you had been there on the night I chose to challenge my father, you would have joined me. You would have also been delivered to Shimura Danzou trussed up, like a pig for slaughter. You would have fought, and you would have to live in a hole in the ground next to me, with only monsters and the half-mad for allies. Forgive me, Shisui-sempai, for wanting to spare you from that fate." Her voice sounded like it did every time she argued with their parents. Static, controlled. Like she was forcing herself to be respectful, against her instincts.

"I don't know how," Shisui admitted. His fists were clenched so tightly that Sasuke thought those white knuckles might pop out of his skin. "Sure, I want to, Itachi. I want to be a good and forgiving person. But forgiveness relies on me thinking you won't just do this to me again. I'm angry - I feel so betrayed - and you know what? There's no guarantee of that."

Sasuke could hear his voice doing cracking, but he couldn't see Cousin Shisui's eyes. It sounded kind of like he was crying. "You've done nothing but leave me behind, Itachi! All of us! Sasuke!"

"I understand," said Itachi, and she bowed her head. That bundled mop of hair draped a few strands in front of her delicate, pale face as she did: she looked strange. Her voice sounded strange too. "I hope you can forgive me, one day."

"Hey!" Sasuke interrupted. "Shisui, be nice!" It had felt like he was intruding, watching them fight like this, both of them so sad and angry. They both stopped, and stared at him, as if they had forgotten he was there.

Sasuke cleared his throat. "Itachi, I'm mad at you too!" he declared, pointing an impudent finger up at his sister. "You don't just get to run again and again every time something doesn't go your way!"

"I see," she murmured, chastened.

Shisui said a very bad word, one that Sasuke knew was not to repeated anywhere near his mother.

"Although I'd like Shisui-sempai to be nice to me, Sasuke, we can't change how he feels," Itachi pointed out, giving him a warm, sad smile. "He has a right to feel like this. I did something wrong."

Shisui looked tired. Really tired, like coming-back-from-a-mission tired, and he sighed, turning away from Itachi and rubbing his face with his hands. "I'm mad. I really am. I don't want you to think for a second you can just do what you want and leave me - us - with the consequences."

But Shisui breathed out deeply then, a big sigh, and he ran his hands through his hair and shook his head. "But I get it. That's the annoying part, 'cause I wish I didn't get it, so I could hate you. But I do."

Itachi looked resigned to that, head bowed, hair flopping again, and Sasuke didn't know what to do either. Shisui seemed way more mad than he was, and maybe even more sad too. Sasuke had thought he was the saddest person in the world these past few days.

A silence passed between them. Sasuke became acutely aware of the trees, of the ground, of the birds twittering softly. His sister was here, but she was like a ghost: she was pale and ethereal, dead to her family, and just as painfully impossible to hold onto. Sasuke felt like crying. He just wanted her back. But he was a big boy: so he didn't.

"We could have gone together to the Hokage," Shisui muttered at last, putting his back against a tree. "We might have been able to discredit Danzou. Together."

"I couldn't wait," Itachi quipped, a sharpness in those eyes. Sasuke could see her fists itching to clench, the nails pushing her back every time. "He forced my hand. Our clan disavowed the coup, and he claimed that I was delusional. He had my chakra bound, had me blindfolded. I killed him, before he could slit my throat and take my eyes."

Shisui threw out a hand, gesturing. "But that doesn't change the fact that you left the clan behind. Sasuke is clan head, now, and Osamu-sama is in charge, until he reaches his majority. Osamu-sama is  _eighty-five_. You left our clan's legacy in the hands of an old man, a boy, and a grieving widow."

"I never wanted that." Itachi was grave, eyes cold, all truth and no regret. "Neither of us wanted this, Shisui. I can't change what's happened."

Shisui just shook his head. "I just wish things were different," he said, finally. All of a sudden, as the river trickled by and the trees whispered above them, Sasuke nailed that feeling.

That was it. Itachi wasn't the ghost. Neither was Shisui. It was him: they were angry, they were arguing, and they couldn't hear him, no matter what he said or how hard he yelled or how many shuriken he threw alone in the woods.

Sasuke felt embarrassing tears burning his eyes as he searched for anything to say, anything at all to make his sister stay or to make Shisui understand, when Itachi spoke at last.

"Me too," she said. "I will return some other time."

And then, with not a word from Shisui, or from Sasuke, his sister was gone again.

"You're running too," whispered Sasuke.

Shisui looked at him.

"You're running too," snapped Sasuke, tears hot and angry now and sucking the breath out of him, into that lump in his throat like a pebble in a drain. "You're running from Itachi too!"

Sasuke ran home through the woods, his knees quivering with every clumsy step through the grove, and Shunshin no Shisui was apparently, not as fast as they said, because Sasuke made his way back with nothing but his shadow by his side.

* * *

Itachi finally gave up. She waited for Obito to return, and accosted him before he went off to do… whatever he went off to do. There was a low, long chamber that didn't have much in it, so they mostly used it as a training area.

She found Obito there, flexing his Mokuton.

"This is the ability I had the most problems with," he admitted, stretching out his hands, for another jutsu. "I was never really very good with it, until my friend was killed in front of me. Now all I need is rage."

Itachi wasn't super sure what to say to that, so she nodded.

"Sorry," he chuckled, to himself. "That's the past. What's up?"

"I can't cut my nails or my hair," she admitted. "For some reason, the keratin in both of them is harder than a blade can cut."

His eyes widened, almost comically. He activated Omoikane, in his left eye, and scanned her. "Huh. Your chakra seems weird. I don't know how to explain it, but it's… pale."

"That's not a good sign, huh?" she asked, meaningfully, folding her arms over her chest. "You were supposed to be watching over me. Are you sure Orochimaru didn't slip anything in he wasn't supposed to?"

"Yes," he said, decisively. He held a hand to his chin, considering. "I don't want to let him in on all of our secrets, but I don't know who else would know. It doesn't make sense as sabotage, since your body being harder than normal is - well, it's kind of a benefit, isn't it?"

"Easy for you to say," Itachi retorted. "You don't have to deal with this much hair."

"Yeah, but like, when I think sabotage, I think bombs, or control seals, or shit like that."

"You're right," she agreed.

"I wish I had medical training, so I could tell you literally anything about how this works," he said. "But hair that you can't cut with metal… have you tried to cut it with chakra?"

"Yes. I have tried chakra, all the blades I have, a spray of high-pressure water, and a fire jutsu. None of it have marked it."

He raised his eyebrows, taken aback. "Okay, that's weird. Seriously."

"Yes," she agreed. "Which is why I came to you. My skin seems harder, too, but I figured most of the toughness stuff was just being made of superior genetic material. Hashirama, and Madara, and all that. What about the genetic material you found, for the vagina?"

"It was just some woman. A kunoichi, from the Uchiha clan," he said, smiling forcefully.

"Weird," she said, scrunching up her face. "What if it was from my grandmother, or something?"

"Gross," he added, for good measure. "I hope not. But Madara could cut his hair. Zetsu did it sometimes, for him. So it can't be his chakra, I don't think."

"Then that doesn't make sense," she said, decisively. "If Hashirama was the pinnacle of a great ninja, then there can't be any cells stronger than his. And whatever happened to me, it's stronger than just Hashirama cells."

He nodded, pacing back and forth. "You're right. I don't know what to say. I can't believe I missed this."

"Whoever this was, they had to know," Itachi pointed out. "Which leaves two suspects. Or three, I guess, but I trust you. I don't think you did it. You can reach Orochimaru faster than I can."

"Zetsu should still be in the base. He's not a fighter. Will you be alright?"

Itachi nodded. "Yes. If he can actually cut my hair, that'll be a good thing, I think."

He choked out a laugh, and grinned, before scooping his mask from his belt, and putting it on. "I'll be going, then."

"Later," she called, and turned up the stairs. She had to find Zetsu, to figure out what had happened.

She had only made it to the hallway when a hand grabbed her around the neck. She whirled, and attempted to toss him off, but he hadn't meant to put her in a hold - he had already slid into her skin.

When she had been convalescing from the Rinnegan operation, he had offered to help, and it was soothing, easy, to have him there, at the back of her mind. She hadn't really questioned it, because it was a relief from the constant aching pain, and the boredom of being alone.

Now, she deeply regretted it. He stood, in her skin, and while she was sure she was healing nicely, she was also sure that she couldn't move, at all.

For the longest moment, she had nothing but panic, unable to even speak, before her legs started moving, taking her to her room. She would have vomited, if she had been able to. It was worse, that he was controlling even her unconscious reactions.

She had a thin mirror, and her body moved, to stop in front of it. There was a horrifying moment where her heart might have stopped, at seeing those blank eyes morph into the Rinnegan. But even more horrifying - half her body was wreathed in black shadows, a parody of Zetsu's form.

"You're so close now," he whispered, tone soothing. It was not soothing. She was such an  _idiot_! Yes, Itachi, why  _don't_ you make friends with the deranged plant man? No, he's not deranged, just a little odd.  _Fuck_! She was going to kill Obito. Well, first, she was going to kill Zetsu, and  _then_ , she was going to kill Obito. "So close to perfect. Soon. Soon… mother."

That didn't sound good. Itachi might have shuddered, if she had control of anything.

Zetsu didn't linger - he seemed to simply want her to know that he could do anything he wanted, and that she had no control. She wanted to snap his fucking neck, but she couldn't make her hands move. She wanted to curl into herself and cry for a thousand years, but she couldn't do that either.

It wasn't comforting.

He stepped away, into the hall, and held up a hand, blasting away the roof of the complex. Interestingly, it didn't have a door. It had to have been built by Earth Release, because there could not have been any other way for it to be as smooth and perfect with mundane construction.

That thought occupied her as her body piloted itself away - hopping up to the surface, and jumping away through the trees.

She was so fucked.

* * *

Kakashi stilled, and accepted the scroll from Nara Shikaku. Nara had been assigned as interim ANBU mission control, which, on top of his normal duties, left him harried, irritable, and permanently weary.

So, while normally, he might have engaged with some friendly banter - or, more likely, his usual pattern of harassment, he nodded, took the scroll, and left. See? He could be nice, sometimes.

He unrolled the scroll, and stilled. A retrieval. This was going to be a rough one. He sent out missives for his squad to meet, in one of the tunnels that ran underneath the wall.

An hour later, he was waiting, in full kit, and every inch of the usual Hatake Kakashi was gone. This was not a simple, easy mission. Cat was there, stiff and ready. Manta Ray dropped in a moment later, hair cut short to her head. Rabbit rounded out their squad, quiet in the darkness.

"This mission is stamped S-Class," he started. "Six hours ago, a chuunin border patrol doing a routine sweep encountered Uchiha Itachi. She attacked. One survivor made it out, to report to the village." He sighed, feeling the gaze of his subordinates. Manta Ray twitched, and he felt a pang of pity for her, having to fight a former teammate. "We are to investigate the site, recover any bodies, and, if we're lucky, bring home survivors."

He allowed that to sink in, before continuing. "We are to treat her as an enemy combatant, if we encounter her. Our priority is the Konoha chuunin, not a missing-nin. Uchiha Itachi is a dangerous opponent, and she might have developed new abilities since she left the village. We know her as a prodigy of genjutsu. Under no circumstances are any of you to meet her eyes. She also has skill with chakra blades from her hand fans, and a preference for fire jutsu. Understood?"

They echoed their affirmation, and he allowed himself a moment to feel a thrill of hope that they did not, in fact, encounter Uchiha Itachi.

But then they were going up, into the forest surrounding the Village Hidden in the Leaves. He set as fast a pace as he dared. Manta Ray, the rookie, might have had trouble keeping up, but he was hoping to keep her at the back of the fighting, either way.

The trip was quiet. No one wanted to talk, and he couldn't blame them. He wanted to shake whoever had decided that this was a good idea - Itachi had been a teammate to all of the people on this team. It was hard to fight teammates. Harder to remain unemotional.

He could only hope that Itachi was long gone, by the time they got there. Itachi was smart. She wouldn't have stuck around unless she wanted to start a fight with whatever ANBU were sent after her. If they were lucky, the patrol had just been in her way, and she hadn't cared to kill the last chuunin who stumbled home on a broken ankle.

With luck, they weren't walking into a trap.

He led the way. He could do that much, at least. Let it be him who met the blade of a disgruntled former ally, instead of Cat, or Rabbit, or, worst of all, Manta Ray.

The thick, dense forest opened up into an enormous clearing, one that had obviously not always existed. The destruction was everywhere - shattered trees, uprooted trunks, and a line of devastation that spoke of an immensely powerful jutsu.

He could see, right away, that there were multiple bodies inside the jutsu's line. They were only partly intact.

Kakashi forced away all his emotions, and said, "Rabbit, Cat. Body retrieval."

"Yes, Captain." They went.

He turned to Manta Ray, who looked slightly shocked. "Keep your eyes peeled, Manta."

"Yes, Captain."

He turned back around, doing a slow loop of the outer edge of the clearing. It appeared as if it was a single, powerful ability. But the Uchiha Itachi he'd known would never have done this. She wouldn't have been able to. She had always been precision over brute force - her fighting style was built almost entirely around precise, exact strikes.

He said none of this, however, and continued examining the clearing. He was no sensor, but Rabbit was. She had so many useful skills. When she was done with the bodies, he'd have her evaluate the site. In the meantime…

He bent, and summoned Pakkun.

"What's up, boss?"

"A fight happened here. Tell me about it."

"On it," the dog replied, nodding and bending his nose to the ground.

Kakashi stopped, contemplating the scene. It seemed entirely out of character. If the chuunin had not reported that it had been Uchiha Itachi, he would never have guessed that this was done by her.

It was not within the M. O. she had established while on his team. That, more than anything, made him nervous.

Cat stepped over to him and Manta Ray, and said, "One of the chuunin is unaccounted for. We have four dead, one that reported in, but a final one is missing in action."

"Understood."

"You think Uchiha-san took him?" Cat asked.

"It's possible. Can't imagine what she'd want a hostage for, though."

"Nothing good, I expect."

Pakkun moved back over, hopping over a fallen log.

"Boss." He rubbed a paw over his face. "Pretty cut and dry. One target heading west. Dangerous. Six heading east, average threat. One jutsu, and four down. The two surviving Konoha nin were both injured. Looks like your target scooped the nearest one up and left, heading northwest."

"Thank you, Pakkun."

"Something doesn't smell right, though. The target's that girl you had, Weasel, but something about her's different."

Kakashi stilled. "Like… it's not her?"

"Smells off. Close, but I can tell something's up. She smells like ice and plants now. Wrong, somehow."

He glanced over the clearing, and looked around at his team. "Pakkun is right. This is not what we expected to find. Clearly, if this is Uchiha-san, she has gained new, powerful abilities, and a very different way of operating. We have no way of telling if this really was her, or whether she has been compromised or somehow impersonated by an outside force. The mission will be dangerous from here. There are no guarantees. But you are shinobi of Konoha. This is your duty.

"Rabbit, Manta, take Bisuke and Uruchi and follow the path she came from. Rabbit is in command. Do not engage, under any circumstances. When you find her origin, record it, and report back to Konoha. Hopefully, we'll be waiting for you there."

They nodded, and he summoned two more of his dogs. He watched them go, hoping he wasn't making a mistake.

He turned to Cat and Pakkun. "We follow the other trail. Let's hope we can get that chuunin back alive."

Kakashi was not hopeful, but he allowed Pakkun to lead the way anyway.

The trail was long, straight through the middle of Fire Country. Itachi had made almost no move to conceal her tracks.

Another oddity. Two months ago, and she had apparently disappeared into thin air from the middle of Konoha. Then, she'd stayed under the radar for two months, and then this? It made no sense.

Kakashi did not allow himself to think about where they were heading, as they neared the Land of Grass.

The pursuit grew long. He was tired, and so was Cat, but there was only so long they could afford to wait.

They took a short break, stretching out legs, and hydrating. It was evening now, the light waning through the trees, the air growing colder, and brisker. Winter was on them in full, which meant that the temperature would be dropping fast.

"We keep going," he told Cat, but he was half telling himself. Neither of his companions objected.

The trail took them to the ridges and valleys of Grass Country, where there were a number of bridges, spanning deep gorges. They came to one such cliff, when Pakkun stopped.

"Trail stops here," he said. "Both your subjects. Can't continue."

"Damn," Kakashi swore. "You're sure?"

"By any indication, they could have gone underground, but they might have disappeared into a summoning technique, a seal teleportation, or a space-time ninjutsu, even."

"Alright," he he agreed, feeling worn from effort and frustrated from failure. He was glad for the masks - he had no doubt Cat was just as frustrated too. Maybe more so. "This mission makes me nervous, anyway. Let's head back. Something's not right, but it's not worth risking any more Konoha lives."

They did so, and Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief. It was tense, but he couldn't risk anything more for Itachi. If she'd wanted to negotiate with Konoha, she shouldn't have killed their patrols, and then ran. It was on her.

He'd done what he could.

The mystery of it all still niggled at him, however. He wanted to know where she'd gone, what she was doing, and why she was doing it. Something about it didn't sit right with him.

He didn't like it, but it was the right call to abandon the search.


	7. Yakiniku Q

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a real content warning for this one. gore. cannibalism. you know, just the usual.

Itachi's body surfaced in a dim cave, and marched forward. Zetsu clearly knew exactly where he was supposed to go, as he moved her into the darkness with unerring, unwavering confidence. The poor Konoha ninja over her shoulder barely stirred as her shoulder rolled, and dumped him on the ground.

Her hands flashed through hand seals - for the summoning technique. Even in the dimness of the cave, she could recognize them for what they were.

Itachi would have liked to have been able to claim that she was dealing with this situation well, and that she was cool, collected, and had a cunning and dastardly plan for escaping from Zetsu's possession. A plan possibly involving eyes implanted in crows, genjutsu hidden in her rivals' bodies, and or a clever combination of the two.

However, this was very far from the truth. She had none of these things. She had no clever trump cards, and her internal thoughts mostly consisted of panicked screaming, her plans amounted to 'wait for it to end, and then curl up into a ball and die,' and her foremost desire was to be far, far away, back home in Konoha.

Traitorously, the person she wished most for in the world was Mikoto. Her mother. As much as Itachi would have very much like to claim that she had no more desire for her mother's affections, or that her mother's rejection of her meant that she no longer had feelings for her, that was simply not true.

She wanted her mother, and she wanted this to stop, now. Unfortunately, that wasn't happening.

The Summoning Technique revealed an enormous statue, horrific-looking, with ten closed eyes, a number of spiky ridges coming off the back, and, most terrifyingly, shackled hands and feet.

It looked like it had been alive at some point, but was no longer, and it had been mummified, and preserved to come and menace horrified missing-nin who were betrayed by their plant friends.

It also looked like it was likely to come alive, at some point, and she definitely did not want that to happen.

Her body moved. It slotted over to the statue, and forced it backwards. Then, it channeled some of the strange chakra it had absorbed from the Konoha nin into the statue. It fused into the wall of the cavern behind it, where a strange, stone tree stood behind it, like a sentinel.

"Yes, yes," her body muttered, to itself. "Perfect."

And then it stepped out, threading a set of long tubes from behind the strange stone tree, and lining them up. There was something awful to it, the way it was so clinical and cold.

Her body, too, moved stiffly, like it didn't care for how she normally moved, like it was acting purposefully against its own instincts. It felt  _wrong_ , on a fundamental level. Zetsu didn't care that she wasn't in control. He wasn't gentle. He wasn't kind. He just simply didn't care about her enough to think about what  _she_ wanted.

It stood, and a long nail pierced her wrist, allowing blood to well up, as her body allowed the blood to dribble into a waiting inkpot. It leaned down, and mixed ink in, and pasted a number of arcane-looking seals onto sheets of paper. She had no idea what they were supposed to be, or how, or anything of the sort. It placed the seals around the chamber, at the four cardinal directions. It then placed a hand over magnetic north, and allowed a glowing cage of white light to surround them.

The body then, calmly, stuck out a hand, and pierced the side of the leg with a single chakra rod. It moved, slowly, over to where the unmoving Leaf chuunin sat, on a bench made of more of that pale, stone-like wood.

Then it sat down, and suddenly, all her chakra was slowly being drained, into the enormous statue.

It sat for the longest time, as her Rinnegan spluttered, her limbs went cold and clammy, and the trembling started.

Bone-deep chakra exhaustion set in, and Itachi could feel the sluggishness of her limbs as she positioned herself. Then, a peeling, and then a shadow loomed over her.

"Yes, you wait there," it said, as it loomed, golden eyes sinister in the half-light. Itachi could finally lift her arm, but it was feeble and weak. She couldn't even feel her chakra, and her hand reached up, to grasp at him.

He batted her aside, almost absently, and leaned back. She pulled herself up over the side of the bench, and vomited over the side.

"Now, we have to be sure. It will hurt, oh yes, yes it will. Oh, yes, mother, it will. But this will be enough. I hope so, at least. And if not," he huffed, laughing to himself, as she retched. "We can just try again, can we?"

He was somehow midnight-black, in the darkness, not his usual two-toned self, and his teeth glinted, oddly sharp in a way that they had never been. Itachi wondered if now, only now, was she seeing the real Zetsu, and all the rest had simply been him biding his time.

"Why?" she gasped out. Her body felt foreign, made of lead, like a rusty engine, struggling for life.

"It's the plan. It's always been the plan. From the beginning. Why do you think I bothered with that self-important fool, Madara?" He laughed to himself, chuckling with teeth chattering like a bear trap. "He had the Rinnegan, of course. Now, I can just do away with all these messy shinobi and all their feelings. You - you're perfect! You have so very few feelings. So close already. If only that fool Obito had agreed to a full-body transplant, it might even be done already. So I have to, uh, fill in the," he licked his lips, with a dark red tongue, "fill in the gaps."

He put a hand on her leg, and a dark tendril of something that only vaguely resembled the roots from his other form slithered out, from his hand. His palm made a funny kind of sensation on her thigh, the muscle there flattened by the pressure.

And then he made a motion with his hand, like he was swatting a fly, and then the tendril was scraping against her bone.

Her thigh was bleeding, she was gasping, and he was scolding himself, "Shit! Shit! Too early! They're too strong!"

He sliced around the bone, instead, the tendril like a whip of razor-sharp pain.

Someone was screaming, and it was probably her. He reached up with a bloody hand, and the tendril widened and thinned into a matte black cleaver as he wielded it high like a butcher's blade. His other hand held her down, as she tried to struggle. But she had no chakra - she was weak beyond belief. She could do nothing more than lift her arms in some sort of feeble protest.

The cleaver slammed down, and shattered through the bone like an oak tree through a house. The pain was like nothing Itachi had felt in her life. She would take cutting and cauterising herself a thousand times over the feeling of having her bone smashed in half, over the sight of seeing her feet still twitching as Zetsu threw the leg aside like a butcher discarding the still gaping fish head.

She was breathing hard, but she felt like nothing was working, like she didn't even have the strength to draw breath. But Itachi was screaming. She could hear her guttural howls from far away, as if someone else was shouting, a ways down the cave.

He muttered, "It'll fix itself," like he was promising himself, or her, or someone. Itachi wanted to vomit again, but it hurt too much to move. It was the most painful thing she'd ever felt in her life. She wanted to die, even as he went to slice apart her second leg. She tried her best, here, to reach into a pouch and grab a kunai, anything, but she could barely lift it out of the pouch. It was too weak, too feeble. She thought it stank of rusty old kunai until she realised that was the blood pouring from her stump leg, making the air sickly with iron.

She was too weak, too feeble. She never should have trusted Zetsu. She never should have trusted Obito. Hell, she should have thrown herself on the Hokage's mercy like a good Leaf Shinobi, and begged that he didn't cut her head off for killing Danzo.

By the Sage, she was such an idiot.

He didn't bother with the little tool this time, just straight for the cleaver. It was, in its own way, a good thing, instead of an awful one, because it was a cleaner cut, and it was over more quickly. She vomited, again, instead of screaming.

There was nothing to vomit up but bile now. She hadn't eaten food in a while, because of her changed biology. Where her legs should have been kicking and thrashing with the rest of her, there was nothing now.

She wanted to pass out, but something in her kept her from it. How was she this  _weak_? She thought she was strong, that her hair, that her nails meant that she'd grown resistant to anything and everything, but she was nothing without chakra.

Nothing at all. She was there, legless, in intense pain. She'd been screaming, but there was something awful about the way he took her legs, leaving her bleeding on the bench, next to a Leaf chuunin who somehow still hadn't woken up - was he dead?

Was she going to die?

She had no idea.

The next minutes were strange, and disorienting, and she lost track of Zetsu as the world spun, and then he was leaning over her, but it wasn't him - it was the chuunin, and half his face was swathed in black, like hers had been. Zetsu was wearing him like a meatsuit. He lit a fire jutsu, under her stumps, and burned them black.

It was the second time she had smelled that acrid iron tang, the off-meat smell of cooked human skin.

She passed out for a few minutes, then, and then when she came to, he was leaning over her, attaching a strangely organic tube, on her side, near her back, under her breasts. It was awful, it felt like being impaled all over again. She was sick, for the third time, and, knew, clinically, that she was going into shock. Hell, she probably had been in shock, since he'd first sliced into her.

Itachi kept breathing, somehow, quick, panting gasps, and he leaned over her.

"Okay, Itachi- _chan_ , you want it to stop, don't you? You're going to live, of course. The tree won't let you die. But you'll feel better if you eat something," he hissed, out of the foreign mouth. His voice through the strange chuunin was deeper than it should have been.

"All you have to do is eat him. No, no, you don't need to shovel rice down your mouth like a  _human_." He hissed the last word like it was dirty. "You need to eat. It's all  _your_ chakra. Just… take it back."

He slid out of the chuunin like she abandoned clothes on the floor, and he slumped over, onto her. His weight pinned her down; his face pressed hard against her shoulder.

"What?" she asked. Her tongue was dry and caked with bile. "H-how?"

"You should already know how. You remember, right? It felt so good, eating those little Konoha dogs. You had such a delightful little reaction. I wondered if Mother ever did… still, you know what I did. All you have to do is do it yourself," he urged, his eyes shining gold pools of pitiless, inhuman madness.

"Eat him?" She tried to shove him off, again, but she was too weak. She needed chakra. The strange tubes were doing something - keeping her alive, perhaps - but it wasn't giving her chakra. At least, not in the way she needed it.

And she knew that she could suck the chakra right from the living and the dead. The chakra didn't leave a person's corpse, not right away, at least. She didn't know how to explain it, but even the recently dead were like a sweet ball of dango, tangy in all the right ways.

It had felt so nice, when Zetsu had used her body to eat the other members of the poor Konoha chuunin's team. Like that time when she'd consumed the Mokuton. It happened only with living things. If she ate them, consumed their chakra, it did strengthen her. She could consume jutsu, but those were not the same.

It wasn't one-to-one, she couldn't turn around and use that chakra in a jutsu, but it was there. And it felt so very good. She needed it now. Right now.

So, she did. She placed one thin, trembling hand on his side, and let the floodgates inside of her open.

Instantly, all her terrible feelings vanished. She knew that it wouldn't last, that the pain where her legs should have been would come back, that the bone-deep chakra exhaustion she felt wouldn't be enough, but it was nice. Nice enough that she forgot, for a second, that she was trapped by a deranged plant who thought that she was his mother.

The power slid into her, slick, filling up her veins and her core, in the belly, warm and gentle and forgiving. It was like coming home, after a long trip away, like holding lightning, like quicksilver, liquid flame. It was everything she wanted and more, and, for a brief, glorious second, she could only focus on the pleasure.

And then the moment was gone, and the painful throbbing in her stumps returned, and the shakes, and the shivers, and the feeling of goosebumps riding on her arms and legs. The man was shriveled, like a fruit left too long in the sun, and she had the strength to push him off of her.

Zetsu was eyeing her, gnawing on her severed leg like a hunk of barbeque. It was a piece of meat, but to see it so plain was too much. He picked, hungrily at the calf, loose, stringy bits of muscle and tendon hanging free. His mouth was smeared with blood, looking black in the poor light.

He knew what he was doing, and he wanted her to know.

She leaned over, and vomited again. There was nothing left in her mind, for the horror. She had been through too much, and she would not allow herself to be beaten by this. It was just meat, she reminded herself. She could watch him eat meat.

It was just raw, uncooked, unskinned meat, that was conveniently clothed in cute thigh-highs and ninja sandals. The socks had been split, and peeled back, like the wrapping on a skewer of beef. The thigh dangled uselessly, the knee bent, and she could see every detail of how awful the hack job he had performed on her leg was.

She pushed through, that, too, until she felt herself reach some core of hidden, iron-hard strength. She was Uchiha Itachi. She would survive this.

Defiantly, she pushed herself up, and glared at Zetsu. "Happy?" she asked, purposefully ignoring the sight of him chewing on pieces that came from her. She  _did_  feel a little better, physically. She was in a lot of pain, but she no longer felt as if she was dying.

"Yes," he grunted. "Once I'm finished with my snack, I'll bring you another."

"I thought you wanted to bring back your mother?" she asked, desperately.

He rolled golden eyes, wide and insane. "'Course. You'll be an excellent vessel."

"And I have to eat these people, and that'll… make it happen?"

"Duh."

"You don't need to eat my legs," she informed him, smiling, wide and just as deranged as his fanged grin. "That's not necessary for your little plan. You're giving it away, you know. The sadism. I know, because I'm just like you. I know, because  _I do this all the time_. You just want to see me squirm. You have a plan, yeah, but you'll get to it in due time, once you've had your fun."

He slowly put down the leg. "No, I'm not."

"You're going to lose," she taunted. "You forgot something. All this planning, all these deliberate attempts at making me powerless, and  _you forgot something_."

He stood up, and stalked closer.

"What's that, then?"

She just grinned, and allowed him to step even closer. "You made it for me, stupid." And then she relaxed the muscle, around Orochimaru's other added organ. The one that synthesized an enzyme, to gather senjutsu.

The power rushed in, and, maybe, if she hadn't been already at the end of her tether, she might have been taken away by it, might have succumbed to blind rage. But she was there, the place where she was only kept together by pure willpower. She had been through too much, today.

Itachi was full of mad rage, but it was all focused on Zetsu. She could feel her muscles bulging, her arms elongating, long and spindly and strong, for it.

She thrust herself off of the bench, arms grasping for Zetsu, like a wild, flailing human missile. She had to kill him, now, before he could do anything else to her. Before he could chop off of her limbs and eat them in front of her.

He ducked her first swing, but she caught him in the second, and he buckled, with the force of her hit.

The substance of this him, the true him, was shadow made flesh. But shadow made flesh was still shadow, so her hand passed right through him. It had worked, though - he was hurt, but she had landed painfully on the floor, caught on the end of the tubes still attached to her side, with no jutsu to work with, nothing but this strange, senjutsu-forced transformation.

Zetsu twisted, and sledgehammered his hands together, smashing her backwards with such force that Itachi was sent flying.

She was stronger than she had been, but it seemed like this form only worked a certain way - she was angry, so angry that hand seals were a thing of the past. She couldn't mold chakra enough to activate her abilities. Drawbacks, definitely.

Her body hit the statue with a wet thump. It dug into her back, pain blossomed, but she was used to pain. She even could position herself better - the angle at which he had cut off her legs was too severe for her to balance herself, but the stumps were looking longer, more healthy - they were re-growing. It was a relief. Minor regeneration - she would have to give Orochimaru a big kiss when this was done. This form was useful.

She pushed herself up, touching the statue itself. It was cold, icy, like liquid ice, if that wasn't an impossible thing to be. She reached out, and touched it. He wanted her to eat? She could eat. All of her chakra was in there, wasn't it? And while she couldn't use any jutsu, or unseal anything, or use her eyes, the ability that allowed her to absorb chakra from living things was as simple as raising a finger.

She laid one long, clawed hand on the leg of the statue, and let herself go.

Itachi could no longer discern anything about the chakra that was contained in the statue, only that it was. And it was delicious - she was sure that food would never hold the same appeal for her again, not when she could reach out with a touch and just feel  _this_. She drank, greedily, from the statue, until she could drink no more. The tubes had been feeding her, in their own way, but that was a slow drip, compared to this. This chakra was hot, wet, full of fire and life, like sucking down a spicy, candied pepper that was somehow dipped in pure power.

She could feel her body shaking, twitching, but that was secondary to the pleasure of taking her chakra back. She imbibed until she was drunk with power, drunk with everything she was, and could have been, and would be.

She was a goddess, for a moment.

And then it was over, but she was strong, strong enough to do anything, to rend Black Zetsu in half, and scatter his ashes on the ground.

But he wasn't there. She was alone, legless, at the foot of an enormous statue, alone in the cave.

Itachi wanted to weep.

* * *

 

Had she been someone else, she might have been stuck, trapped in that cave, legless and immobile. Itachi was not someone else: she was Uchiha Itachi of the Leaf, genius of the Uchiha, wielder of the Rinnegan. She could have left if she'd wanted to, but she didn't want that. She didn't want to hide. She wanted to fight.

So she waited. He had to come back, because whatever twisted desire he had, it wasn't done yet. It was unfulfilled. She did not need food, or water, she needed nothing. She just sat, as her legs re-grew, in the darkness of the cave. The whiteness was unsurprising, but she realized that it might not have been a lack of sun, after all. Whoever Zetsu had tried to turn her into must have been the source of the paleness.

Once she could walk again, she stood, ripped the twisted, organic tubes from herself, and walked calmly around, and around the cage of light. There was something wonderful about free movement. Something beautiful, invigorating, about being able to go where she pleased. She had not been missing legs for long, but it was enough.

She quietly buried her extra body parts with Shinra Tensei, and the Leaf chuunin, too, with something that twisted in her gut that felt uncomfortably like guilt. She wasn't really aware that she could feel guilty, so it came as a bit of a shock. She had never really truly been guilty about hurting all those people that didn't deserve it, so it seemed like fate, that she would feel guilty for this thing, that she had so little choice in.

Itachi lingered with that thought for a moment, and tried to shut that thought away. It wasn't useful.

Instead, she walked over to the inkpot and paper that he'd left. Her own blood was more useful, anyway, as she drew enormous seals on the ground, and then settled in to wait.

Hours later, Zetsu finally popped out of the ground, sneering, wearing the body of a tall man, wearing an elaborate set of samurai armor, red and intimidating in the bad lighting.

He paused, stuck in the middle of the floor, bound by the paralysis seal. Then he made a hand sign, and the seal was fried, torched with pure chakra. Itachi watched, interested.

There was no subtlety, as he stared at her. "Close," he whispered. "Close."

"There's no need," she told him. She knew what it was, when he stared at her with those horrible, empty eyes. "You... want me to eat that guy, right?"

"Yes," he said, grinning toothily. "That'll fix you right up."

"Okay." She nodded. "Come on, then."

He smiled, stepping with the man's long legs over to her. When nothing happened, as he stepped within arm's reach, he smiled, even wider.

"Maybe you'll still even be you, deep down."

She brushed that aside, and held up a hand, touching his cheek. There was something odd about the man's chakra, but she couldn't focus on that right now. It was happening again: the chakra that made up him - his self, the delicious, essential part of him was humming under her fingertips like an electric fence. That was all she could think about, for a second.

"Are you going to leave, or am I going to consume you too?" she asked, smiling back.

"Oh," he said, grinning. "No, I think I'll stay. You can't eat me anyway, not like  _that_."

She didn't respond to that, sitting on the statue's knee.

He stepped closer, close enough that they were face-to-face, and Itachi asked, cocking her head, "Who is this guy, anyway?"

"You'll see," he said, amused. "Go on, then."

She raised a hand, and braced herself for the rush of chakra. It came, more copious and thicker than she'd felt before, all rushing, searing heat, not warm,  _hot_ , but  _hot_ in a nice way, like a shower that was steaming and scalding on sore muscles.

Then, the essence changed, and it was something else, like going from store-bought sweets to the homemade kind. It was still chakra, but it was full of rich, decadent loveliness, thick and warm and gooey, and she knew she was shuddering, clenching her body against the pleasure.

This was so, very, very nice. Sinfully nice. She could get attached to this feeling. And the best part? It wasn't even over in an instant. No, it took a nice long time to run its course. Zetsu was shouting something, but she didn't care. She laughed at him, giddy with joy and the sensation of absorbing it. She didn't know how long she sat there, enjoying the swell of delicious, thick, oozing chakra.

Until it was finally over, and she collapsed, out of breath, laughing hysterically.

"You treacherous bitch," Zetsu warned, howling from his prison. "Who do you think you are? I gave you that body. I gave you that very self! I  _made_ you."

"It still didn't work," she told him, jittery and hot with that fantastic chakra. She felt confident. Alive. Like she could take on anyone, anything. "You're delusional. You think I didn't figure out your plan? You think I didn't put you under a genjutsu the second you popped back into this chamber? This was a fucking trap, you moron!"

He noticed, finally, that he was two pitiless eyes in a small disk, painted onto a long strip of scroll, on the floor in front of the statue. "Mother will consume you, worthless whore!"

"No, she won't," Itachi promised, a delighted smile quirking her lips. Zetsu was writhing, and she had never felt more alive. The feeling alone was invigorating, but seeing the man who had cleaved her legs off grovelling was beyond words. If she could bottle up and sell this feeling, she would be rich beyond her wildest dreams. "She's  _dead_ , she has been for  _years_ , and no amount of fucked-up things you can do will bring her back," Itachi promised.

"You know  _nothing_ ," he snarled back, his voice more desperate and furious than he'd ever heard. Every inch of his playful persona was gone. "We are eternal! We were here long before your shinobi world started, and we will be long after!"

"You're dead, too, and you just don't know it yet." She smirked, lazily, stretching out. Consuming people's chakra entirely was tough work. "Or did you not remember that I am a prodigy with genjutsu?"

If he was stood upright, he might have been thrashing and screaming at her: but he was trapped. He stared up at her, and Itachi realised this might have been the first time she had seen him genuinely scared for his life.

"How did you capture me?" he asked, and Itachi saw that he was stalling. But she had quite enjoyed this, so she wasn't above a bit of bragging.

"You're an evil spirit, made of chakra and hate," she said. "And shinobi have been capturing chakra in seals for a very long time. And I might not be skilled enough to capture a bijuu in my seals, but you are far less than that."

"I  _can't_ die," he told her, fervently, desperately.

"But if I absorb you, will you truly be alive?" she asked, shrugging. "We should find out."

He didn't cry or beg, and she respected that. Itachi slid off the statue's knee, and stepped lightly over to his prison.

She leaned down, and pressed one place finger to his prison. He tasted like frozen chocolate ice cream, with a hint of mint, just how she liked it. It was delicious, maybe the most delicious chakra she'd consumed, since she gained this power.

But he was so little - there was so little of him, it was over too quickly, done in an instant.

She straightened up, smiling to herself, feeling triumphant. Power hummed through her, a vibrating current.

The flood in her veins was overwhelming, icy, like winter's cold bite. It traveled up from her toes, through her body, up to the crown of her head.

And, in the dim light of the cave, two thin, sinister horns raised from her head, and a third eye opened on her forehead, blood red, with the rings of the Rinnegan and nine tomoe.


	8. Vacation

The new, third eye did not convey any new planes of sight, other than the fact that it worked as a normal sharingan, one that was always on, and took not chakra. It just was, constantly watching. Itachi couldn't even close it - it seemed like a natural weakness, at first.

Itachi was just getting off her high, getting around to burying that poor fellow that Zetsu had possessed when Obito appeared, finally. That other shinobi - Iwa, according to his hitai-ate - was just beginning to rot, and the smell had started to fill the cave. Itachi wished she had some kind of Doton jutsu, because that would have made a better hole than Shinra Tensei. She had lit a torch, or two, so there was some illumination, even if it was flickering and weak.

"You're late," she informed him.

He flinched, harshly, and ran to her. She was caught off guard as he picked her up, arms tight around her, squeezing for all he could give. The hungry instinct to drain him as she had the others rose up inside her, but she clamped it down. It was surprisingly hard to resist - he seemed like he'd taste good.

"You're alright," he said, eyes damp with tears.

"I am," she returned. "Put me down, please." He put her down, gently, and ran his arms up and down her ruined hoodie, as if reassuring himself she was real. She gently detangled them from herself, and he allowed it. "Zetsu was the traitor, by the way. In case it's not obvious?"

He snarled, and the expression twisted his handsome face. "Sage, I can't believe I let you alone with him," he muttered. "Ever. What was I thinking? I mean, well, it was dumb of me. I just trusted that he was made from Madara, and that was enough. I'm not even working for Madara anymore, and-"

"Stop it," she told him, harshly, folding her arms. "He wasn't made of Madara's will. He was made of someone else's, and he kidnapped me to make me into some weird, twisted version of her. We both made that mistake, but it's over now. Done."

"That's… okay, that's not what I wanted," he admitted. "I'm a huge fuckup, okay? I'm really sorry. Can I make it up to you?"

"I'm okay," she told him, stepping out of touching range, and over to the statue, over the corpse of the Iwa shinobi. "You don't need to do any of this. I'm fine, he barely touched me. And, hey, did you see this?" She pointed to the new eye. "Guess what? I don't need you anymore. I can make cool portals of my own."

"Itachi, I don't care about that," he said. "I just care you're alright. Where's Zetsu?"

"Dead," she replied, rolling her eyes. "Or, well, I don't really know if he was alive. But he's dead now. I ate him."

"What?"

"It goes with the eye and the horns. I eat chakra, now. He tasted like chocolate, with mint. Wasn't bad." She perched back on the statue's knee, affecting nonchalance.

"You ate him?"

"Not literally," she huffed. "That's what we called it. I consumed his chakra. I thought it was a Rinnegan thing, but I'm not as sure anymore. Think it's a freaky demon thing."

"You do kinda look like a demon," he admitted. "The eye and horns are very… something."

"Intimidating, right?" she asked. She held up one long-nailed hand. Her nails were pitch black, almost two inches, and harder than steel. "And I have to re-learn to fight, because I've got huge claws now, and can't make a fist properly. It will be worse, when I use either Sage Mode. So this is the new normal."

"You could cover up the eye," he said, carefully. "Wear your forehead protector over it. You could look mostly normal - the nails and hair just make you look arrogant."

"No." She was sure about that. She wanted people to be frightened of her. She was dangerous. It was better that they knew that. "I don't want that. I want people to think I'm a demon."

"Well," Obito replied, frowning, "I, uh, okay, I guess, if that's what you want. I mean, uh, honestly you can probably pull it off. Uh,  _either_ Sage Mode?"

"One from Tenjin, my Mangekyo ability, and one from the enzyme that Orochimaru modified this body to produce," she said, smiling coolly. "Both are… monstrous. In a good way."

"Okay," he said, sighing. "Okay. It's up to you, and maybe - well, it might be useful. Reputation is useful."

"Speaking of reputation, Zetsu killed a bunch of Konoha chuunin. They're going to think it's me," she said, dryly, rubbing her sides, lifting her legs up, and folding them so she could put her hoodie around them. She felt cold. "They're going to want revenge. But maybe they'll be scared. It's a good thing." The last sentence was uttered half to herself. Maybe she would even believe it.

"Yeah," he said, smiling, wide and fake. "It's okay, Itachi. Take all the time you need."

"I wouldn't mind, I dunno, a mission or something," she said, instead, eyes flicking up at him. "Something normal."

"How about some bounty hunting?" he asked, holding out his hands. "We can put the fear of, well, you into some poor fools. I can spin it that I'm trying to recruit you for Akatsuki, if Pein even notices."

"It's been a long time since I slaughtered some trash." She quietly thrust down the instinctive revulsion in her gut, at the mention of bounty-hunting. Katsu-sensei had died for a bounty. If she ever saw that Kakuzu again, she wouldn't even sell his head. She'd just cut it off and send it to Kane, in the mail. Or use her new powers to drop it in his house.

"Okay," he agreed. "Some time off. Just you and me, how about. Not talking about Akatsuki, or plans, or anything. I might need to check up on some things sometimes, but that's easy enough."

"What kind of things?" she asked, more to distract him than anything.

"Well, uh, I sort of have the Mizukage under a genjutsu."

She paused, considered that, and then thought it over again. "What?"

He smiled, sheepishly, and rubbed the back of his head. "Madara did first. And then, well, it was useful. I was angry at them, for a long time, so I destroyed their country, their nation. After, I didn't care. But now, well, I'm trying to fix things, but Kiri's in bad shape. It'll take a lot of years before it's back to what it was."

"You really were going to take over the world," she mused, half to herself. "You might have succeeded, too, but for the Kotoamatsukami."

"Yeah," he replied, chuckling to himself. "I mean, at this point, why not? I'm already halfway there."

She chewed over that. "And do what?" 

"I don't know, really, that's the thing. I can't say I have much interest in ruling the world, and the original plan - the genjutsu that spanned the world - we know that's a real bad idea, now." 

"Mhmmm," she agreed. "Whatever you do, you have to admit that keeping Kiri under your control is better than not."

"And Pein controls Ame," he agreed. "I might need to speak with him occasionally, but that's not too hard."

"Okay," she agreed. "I need - well, I need to bury this poor guy, I need to find new shoes, and, well, a shower wouldn't go amiss. Do you know any Doton jutsu, by the way?"

"Yeah, I do," he said, curiously. "Why?"

"To bury this dead shinobi."

"Right," he said, decisively. "I had wondered about the shoes. But this guy - Zetsu kill him?"

"No. I did."

"Oh." He paused, frowning. "I, uh, it might not be my place to ask, but why?"

"Do you care?" she asked, aggressively, showing her fangs.

Obito stared at her, less frightened by her reaction but more perturbed by her secrecy, it seemed. His eyes wandered to the bloating body.

"Well, yeah, kinda," he said. "And you said the Konoha nin... I just, well, were they innocent, in all this?"

"Yeah." Itachi wanted to snarl, wanted to rip him limb from limb, wanted to slice him open and drink the chakra from his flesh-

"I just," he muttered, cringing. "Could you maybe resurrect them? I just - yeah, I dunno. It would make me feel better."

All of her hunger turned to cold, sober realization. She'd have to give the chakra back. But still, resurrection. And it meant something to him.

"How?" she asked, mouth dry. Her throat felt like sandpaper. "How? What are you talking about?"

"They, uh, Pein can do it. It's the Shinigami, you can just, you know, use chakra, and then they're back up. Poof." He mimed a delighted dead man, rising from the grave and giving a thumbs up.

To think she had been living in such a tiny world. A world where the blurred line between life and death, family and village, duty and justice, had been the only line she could see, and in the far off distance she'd missed the bigger picture. Gods walked in this world, Gods who controlled gravity and summoned the ungodly; Gods who stole through worlds like a thief through windows; Gods who shunned death and played with mortality like pop-up characters in a children's picture book. Now, she was something like them - or at least, a cobbled-together replica of one of them.

"I didn't know that," Itachi breathed. "It's not like all these stupid new powers come with users' manuals. I was just getting a handle on the Mangekyo, and now I've got this  _thing_ on my forehead." Could she resurrect her father? The rest of them? That might have to wait, a little. Not now. But there might be time, later.

"Well, maybe the time away can do some good," Obito said, quietly. "I'm not going to make you, but, well, if he was innocent, he should stay that way."

"Okay," she said, clamping down her feelings. This was one of those things she should feel, but, frankly, the man from Iwa had been too tasty to care about his death. Per usual, she felt slightly ashamed that she wasn't really ashamed at all. "Okay."

She rose, untangled herself, and went over to where she had buried the Konoha chuunin. She calmly grabbed him with Shinra Tensei, and deposited his body next to the Iwa one.

"There's no way out of this cave?" she asked.

"No," he agreed.

"Well, we should move them up to the surface, if I'm going to bring them back," she suggested.

"Ah. That's a good idea." He grabbed both corpses, and they were gone in the swirling of Kamui. He held out a hand to her, and she eyed it.

She could trust him, Itachi reminded herself. She had trusted him. He was her friend, and she believed him about Zetsu. She could trust him, at least for now.

She took his hand, and allowed herself to be drawn into his jutsu, where the two bodies rested. He picked up the bigger man, the one from Iwa, and Itachi grabbed the second one. She followed him through the strange, grey, flat dimension, until he deposited them out in a grassy field.

She nodded, and dropped her burden. She leaned down, and performed the Summoning Technique.

The God of Death appeared, an enormous head, purple and yellow and glowing with a thousand colors, and stared at her, carefully.

How to do this? Just ask, she supposed.

"Bring back these two," she said coolly, indicating the bodies. He opened his mouth, long, too-long teeth shining in the morning light, and two thin ribbons of green chakra shot out, piercing the two corpses.

She could feel it, pulling at her. Draining what she had reclaimed back, away. Like losing a part of herself - much more than just the original amount of chakra she'd taken from them. The drain of chakra was somehow all the worse for it. She felt the saliva tickle the back of her throat - she could always tell when she was about to vomit, and sure enough, a moment later, she was on her knees, emptying what little was inside her stomach into the dirt. It came out thin and slick, red with blood. How she had more blood, at this point, was a mystery. 

It was like… loss, but the loss of losing something precious. A part of her, like losing some fingers, or her right arm. Obito had crouched down, next to her, in the grass.

"That was awful," she admitted.

The Shinigami blinked once, twice, and then he was gone, rumbling back into the earth. The two shinobi twitched, and opened their eyes, looking around, wildly.

The Iwa man was up in an instant, his heavy armor lurching around his body.

"Konoha," he hissed, throwing himself back. He did a double-take, at Itachi. Obito had donned one of his masks, looking tall and intimidating next to her.

"Go home," she told him, in no mood to deal with this.

"I… died," he said, murmuring. "Where is Kokuo?"

"Who?" she asked.

"My friend," he snarled, eyes flinty, glaring at the both of them. "My bijuu."

"Oh," she murmured. "Oh. Gone. You're alive, though. That's all I can give you. Your life." And it had cost her enough. The bijuu was so much more than just one life. There was no way she was giving that up. Never again, she vowed.

He snarled. Obito stepped forward, menacingly. "Go."

"Konoha," he hissed, again. "This is a naked grab for power."

The chuunin had finally woken, peering around at all of them. He started, when he saw Itachi.

"Uchiha Itachi!? You killed my squad!" he shrieked, scrambling backwards, dumbfounded. "How?"

"Go home," she repeated. "Or don't, I don't care."

"I'm not leaving," the Iwa nin said. "I am Han, of Iwa, and I will not let Konoha steal what is mine."

"Are you blind?" Itachi asked. "Konoha can burn, for all I care. My name is Uchiha Itachi. You can find me in the Bingo Book."

The chuunin paled, and he picked himself up, before backing away, slowly. He seemed afraid to move too fast, in case she'd instinctively chase him, like a movement-based predator. But she didn't, and so he didn't stop, moving carefully.

Han started moving through hand seals, but Itachi lifted her own hand, with its long claws, and she summoned Shinra Tensei to blast him away. Not too harshly, and since they were in a field, he was unlikely to break his neck.

She turned to Obito, and raised another hand. "Yomotsu Hirasaka," she intoned, and a piece of the world simply just… folded away. She held out her hand, invitingly. Obito looked at it strangely, but went through. Itachi didn't glance back. She followed.

* * *

Kakashi eyed the bedraggled chuunin at the table, frowning. "Do we believe him?"

"I believe that he is telling the truth, as he understands it. But I once saw Itachi-san give a man brain damage from too intense a genjutsu. If she wanted him to report a false story, she could have easily made him see what she wanted him to. Or maybe he was hallucinating all on his own."

Kakashi rubbed his face, and leaned against the glass. "That's true. But to what purpose? And resurrection? That seems a little far-fetched. I'm not sure I believe that really happened."

Morino stilled, folded his arms and eyed him. "Perhaps to fool us into believing that she was acting against her will when she killed that patrol. If his story is true, she was struggling against this Zetsu, who was apparently capable of possession."

"Would it not be easier to simply… not kill the patrol?" The question seemed obvious.

"Yes… but maybe she killed them and regretted it."

Kakashi let out a long sigh. "And resurrected one? Morino-san, normal people don't just kill people, regret it, and then just  _bring them back to life_. And possession? You know what? Fuck it." He sighed again, rubbing his face. "I can't keep thinking about this. Last time something popped up, I kept obsessing about it and wondering about it and looking for a reason, but…" He shrugged. "Itachi-san is a missing-nin now. An enemy of Konoha. If she cared half as much about how she was viewed here as I have, she would never have gone within ten miles of a Konoha patrol."

Morino nodded, gravely. "I understand. It is painful, but you must do what is right for yourself, if nothing else."

"I guess," Kakashi said. He wasn't completely sure he agreed - with Morino, or himself. He needed a drink.

"What about the claim that she stole the Gobi? Surely that was not faked. If she did have it, it would make little sense to allow anyone to know that."

"You're right," Kakashi allowed. "But again, no proof. No proof of anything. The jinchuuriki of the Gobi is named Han, sure, and the physical description matches, but this could be an elaborate ploy to undermine our information about other village's secrets."

"It could, but the trend I've noticed, in twenty years of T&I, is that the simplest explanation is far more likely. It is possible that this Zetsu was in conflict with Itachi-san, and the struggle between them was real. The other shinobi - our patrol, and Han, of Iwa, were caught in the middle. If it is true that Itachi can now resurrect the dead, she attempted to undo the damage she did."

Morino Ibiki was like a dog with a bone, Kakashi thought. He did not give up easily. Still, he was a clever, analytical man who read his subordinates well. He was undoubtedly fond of Itachi. Kakashi was fond of the kid, too, but he wasn't so sure she was decent enough to care about collateral damage. It might have been much easier to leave Han in the ground, and he couldn't help but wonder why she brought him back.

The Konoha nin? Sure. That was old village loyalty. Most missing-nin had at least a little of it. Itachi was attached enough to visit her little brother and her best friend, so he would have been surprised if she had none left. But resurrecting - if it was that - Han of Iwa was  _decent_.

"Uchiha Itachi was a number of things, including an impressive shinobi," he started, slowly. "But I would not have called her a good person. Not a person who'd use a powerful technique on a person who was not an ally, or could not benefit her in some way."

"I don't disagree. There is something you may not have considered," Morino pointed out. "The casual theft of a bijuu is no small thing. Perhaps she wanted the world to know that she was dangerous, not to be trifled with. Particularly if this Zetsu did kidnap her, and cut off her legs." He paused, and opened his hands. "Perhaps she wanted an example, for the consequences of crossing her.

"It is not uncommon, among missing-nin. Reputation is everything, and sometimes, the threat of force is as effective as force itself. I think it is possible that Uchiha Itachi wanted to make sure that we did not send hunter-nin squads after her." He glanced back at the man behind the desk, in the cold T&I room. "If she does possess the legendary Rinnegan, a retrieval squad might not be enough."

"Let's not forget the masked man," Kakashi pointed out. That was another mystery. How could she have befriended a man like that? There was no record of him, ever, in Konoha. When did they meet? Why did she trust him?

It was the same as everything else about this incident. No way of telling the truth from the lies.

"An unknown shinobi, with unknown capabilities," Morino agreed. "It seems prudent to elevate Uchiha Itachi to flee-on-sight, to all teams on missions B-class, or lower."

"It does seem so," Kakashi agreed. "Particularly given that she has demonstrated no hesitation in killing Konoha shinobi, even if she did feel a bit bad afterwards and brought one back to life."

"Quite."

"Right, Morino-san, I'm off to have a drink."

"Good night, Hatake-san."

He left. Uchiha Itachi seemed just fine, on her own. She didn't need him looking after her.

* * *

She followed Obito's heels as he stepped into the bar. Something about his gigantic height and broad stature was appealing, in times like this. He was a huge dude, not particularly heavy, but he had broad shoulders and he was tall enough.

They were almost as scared of a big man in a mask as they were of a deathly pale teenage girl with a horrible, red eye on her forehead and demon horns. There was a wicked sort of delight, in her, when someone flinched away as if she had thrust open the gates of the underworld, a yokai come to walk amongst the living.

Maybe her time with Zetsu in that horrible cave was walking amongst the dead, and their fears of her being a spirit had some truth to them. She had more abilities than she could shake a stick at, and more chakra than a bijuu. She could not be hurt, by most mundane means, and she could open a door to anywhere, even the other side of the world, with a gesture.

Her abilities were almost wasted, hunting chuunin and genin-level missing-nin, for money, but there was something relaxing about it.

The target's eyes met hers, widening at the sight of her. "Mugen Tsukuyomi," she said, and the third eye on her forehead throbbed pleasurably. He immediately slumped face-first onto the table, and she felt the pleasant twinge of chakra absorption as the genjutsu transferred his chakra to her. It was soothing, like taking one of those fancy painkillers that left you high and drifting. She yawned, and followed Obito over to the bar.

The bartender, a woman with a long scar on her face and a number of tattoos over her arms, stared at them. Itachi wondered what she saw that made her pale. There was enough to look at, surely. Obito had forgone his usual masks, instead, he wore a mask over his mouth and nose, reminiscent of Kakashi, and he'd found an old Mist hitai-ate somewhere, a scratched line through it. He was still tall and dark and half his face was twisted, looking sinister with the mask and the scratched headband.

"I'm not serving you," she insisted, eyes hard. "You two are nothing but trouble."

"Too right," Obito agreed, lightly. "We're just here for your friend, here." He grabbed the target, and hoisted him over his shoulder. "And we'll be on our way."

"Good," the woman snarled. "Shinobi are trouble."

"Then how come you were serving one?" Itachi countered.

"Didn't know. Don't ask. If they're quiet and they keep it to themselves, that's their business," she said, with a meaningful glance over both of them.

"Why, Tobi, I believe we're being discriminated against for our appearance," Itachi commented, wryly.

"Let's go, brat," he returned, hand around her collar. She allowed herself to be dragged out of the bar, pouting slightly. "She's right."

"Well, I'm sure there are some nice shinobi who happen to be in River Country and would just like a drink. Somewhere, they've got to exist."

"Yeah, maybe, but that's not  _us_. We're the kind of shinobi that make civilians distrust shinobi. And you're not doing anyone any favors with those horns. You know, most people see those and think you're just a demon." He strode down the street, limp body over one arm and a hand that made sure she didn't wander off.

Which was annoying, so she slapped it away.

When she didn't respond, he said, "What did you hit this guy with, anyway? He was conked out, and I heard you - I dunno, I thought I heard - anyway, what was the genjutsu?"

They were in the middle of River Country, which had no shinobi village, and thus, it was a den of scum and villainy. Ironically, the lack of an established authority meant that missing-nin were somewhat more cordial, there. It was a place for them to live relatively freely, so, therefore, there was a somewhat brutal reprisal for missing-nin who refused to respect the established peace.

"Mugen Tsukuyomi," she replied. "Came with the third eye, and extra bits. Like a, I dunno, like the Mangekyo. Nobody taught you to use Kamui, right? Well, it just sorta, comes to you. Like an inherited memory type thing. But anyway, it's a nifty little jutsu. Uses a lot of chakra, but I'm pretty sure it's unbreakable and it drains their chakra, continually, and gives it to me."

"Right," he said, casually, smiling. She could tell because of the way his eyes crinkled, at the corners. "Well, do you remember what the original plan for Akatsuki was?"

"Vaguely? A genjutsu for the whole world, correct?"

"Yeah, well, that's what it was called. Mugen Tsukuyomi." He sighed, as they passed another man who viewed Itachi with fright and disgust. "Depressing."

"Why's that? Because we finally got what we needed for it now that you no longer want to?"

"Well, mostly because I think Zetsu just replaced Madara with you. He woulda been… demonified, and probably possessed, just like you. Maybe worse, if his mother had actually come back to life. So yeah, I spent ten years building up to something that was a trick in the first place. I wonder how Pein will take that news," he mused.

"Probably not well," She suggested. "We could always, just, you know." She pointed at an imaginary Pein and just mimed, shooting something at him. "Bam, Mugen Tsukuyomi."

He eyed her. "You're like a new kid with a toy, huh?"

"Wait 'till you see what I can do with my body parts."

Obito clearly chose to ignore that comment. "Well, I don't even know how that would work on Pein. There's six of him, see."

"What?" she asked. "Wait, what? Can there be six of me?"

"You're the one with the Rinnegan. Weren't you just rambling about inherited memories and eyes and shit?"

"Well," she explained, like he was a child. "The Rinnegan's not quite like that. It's just got a bunch of abilities, and those weird chakra rods that want to be used. It's confusing."

"You're a smart girl," he said. "You can figure it out. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that apparently, you keep using a literal  _world-ending genjutsu_  on bounty targets we find in bars."

"Well, it's a genjutsu that's really not that chakra-intensive for what it does, it's unbreakable, and it slowly siphons their chakra without draining them completely," she explained, shrugging. "So, yeah, it's a good technique."

"Why don't you just… knock them out?" he asked, brows knotted in confusion. "That's got to be easier."

"Well," Itachi said, frowning. "Do  _you_  know a genjutsu that just… knocks someone out?"

"I mean, no, but I never really had the patience for genjutsu. I never really learned it properly."

"It doesn't exist," she told him, shortly. He stopped, the man on his back, swinging wildly, the path through the forest quiet beside them, the wide river flowing quickly on the other side. "You can make people see things with genjutsu, but it's complicated. You can stimulate the part of the brain that makes someone sleep, producing melatonin, GABA, and adenosine, but if they are halfway aware, they already have adrenaline in their system, which means that your genjutsu is pointless.

"A complete illusion is another way to simulate that effect, but you still have to make them see something. There's an entire philosophy of genjutsu that focuses on making elaborate, complicated illusions that are hard to navigate. Another philosophy is focused on making them subtle; so that enemies don't know to dispel them. But I've never found a genjutsu that just knocks someone out, not like in  _Icha Icha_."

"Okay," Obito said, resuming their walk along the path to the bounty office. "I think I follow."

"My point is that Mugen Tsukuyomi might be chakra-intensive, but nothing compares to what it offers."

"Not even the Rinnegan?"

"The Rinnegan can help genjutsu, yes, but it's just a more powerful Sharingan. It can defeat lesser eyes, and cast them without hand seals, but it doesn't solve the problem of an instant knockout. As an expert in genjutsu, I can say that the Mugen Tsukuyomi is literally the perfect technique. It's sublime."

"I'll take your word for it," he said, nodding decisively. "I'm more of a hitting stuff ninja."

"Obito big strong man," she mocked. "Genjutsu make tiny man brain hurt lots."

"Itachi big shithead."

"You're the big shithead." There was a cabbage farmer, driving his cart down the road who gave them a funny look, then.

"Rude," he huffed. "How come  _Icha Icha_  is wrong, then?"

"Cuz it's written by an old pervert with one hand, duh." Itachi sneered. "I mean, have you read it? The tits are massive, the women two-dimensional, and the men are just all Jiraiya, disguised in a new way."

"With one hand?" he asked. "Don't most people write with one hand?"

"His other one is touching his dick," she said, flatly. "I'm saying he wrote them while whacking off."

"Oh! Why didn't you just say, then? And besides, you're what, thirteen? Aren't you too young to be talking about whacking off?"

"I'm not a baby," she snarled. "I bought some when I was old enough to realize I could Henge into an adult and buy them."

"Geniuses," he said, dismissively. "No wonder you're emotionally stunted. Bakashi was the same way."

"Hatake?" she asked. "Perpetually late, weirdo Hatake? Emotionally stunted? No way!" The last bit was said with a faux-astonished voice.

"Perpetually late?" He glanced at her. "What do you mean?"

"He's always late with awful excuses? Any of this ringing a bell? 'Oh, sorry I'm two hours late to ANBU training, I was helping a cat stuck in a tree.' That kind of shit."

"Yes." When he spoke, Obito sounded oddly subdued. "Unfortunately, it does."

"See? He's like, pathologically incapable of acting like a normal human being in any situation that isn't life or death."

"The thing is, that's not the Hatake Kakashi I remember." Obito's voice was quiet, hoarse. "He was always a little shit, but he was a stickler for the rules. He used to quote them at us, literally. And I'd be late every day, and he used to be such a dick about it." He laughed, dryly to himself.

"Oh," she said, almost stumbling on a root. "So he's… oh."

"Nothing like realizing the friend you abandoned ten years ago has been imitating your most annoying habit, to remember you by." He huffed, turning his head toward the path. She could see tears in his eyes. "I hated him for a long time. Now, I think Madara was just manipulating me to make me just as miserable as him."

"I'm not good at comforting people," Itachi warned. "Feelings, or anything. But that sounds pretty awful."

"Yeah." He huffed. "I feel like I can finally see clearly now, for the first time in years. And I don't like the person I was."

"You've changed that, though."

"But I can't exactly go back to Konoha, stroll in and say, 'Oh, sorry, I totally did a bunch of evil shit for a decade, while you all thought I was dead. While you all mourned me, and everything. But I'm better now, promise,' can I?"

"No," she agreed, softly, watching the river churn slowly by. "I guess not."

"Just sucks. If I'd gone back years ago, yeah, I coulda made the argument, but I've done too much. Things I've done - I can't undo them. That's not how life works."

Itachi sighed, and nodded. "No, you can't." She was thinking of her regrets - which might not have been as copious or as detailed as Obito's, but they existed all the same.

"Well, that got depressing fast. We're supposed to be on vacation, you know," Obito said. She could tell he was papering over his pain with good cheer, but she could not blame him for that.

"Okay," she said. "Vacation time."

"We could get food?" he offered. "You haven't bugged me about dango in a while."

"I don't care about it," she replied. "I haven't felt the same way about food since my changes. I can still eat, I just - I'm not bothered enough to. I haven't felt hunger for weeks, not since the Rinnegan operation."

"Oh," he said, dumbfounded. He glanced at her, face twisted into a grimace, and finally sighed. "Well, shit. That's my bad, again. I'm not doing a particularly good job of taking care of you, am I?"

"I don't think you owe it to me to take care of me," she pointed out, mildly. "I've been a shinobi for six years."

"You're still a kid. I know that you might not act like it, that you may even have been ANBU, but you're just a kid." His insistence was odd, for a man who had so openly admitted to doing horrible things in the past. Why would he care about her age? He'd probably killed plenty of thirteen-year-olds in his time as Madara.

"It's alright," she said. "This is kind of nice, actually. A bit boring, actually. Any more dangerous targets you know of?"

"Okay," he agreed. "Sure. Maybe we can wander through one of the Five Great Nations, that'll be a fun time. Is there anything you do want?"

"I like eating people," she admitted, quietly.

"Eating people? Oh, right, your weird ability."

"It's nice," she defended. "Feels nice. Nicer than eating actual food, or sex."

"You've had  _sex_?"

"...Yes." She refused to back down from this.

"With who?"

"No one you know."

"Alright," he said, putting his hand up, in surrender. "Fine. Better than sex. So, okay, so you want to just… drain people dry? Like a yokai? As if the rest of you wasn't enough."

"Yes," she admitted. "Uh, I'm not sure. I don't know very much about those legends. But the draining - it's really nice. The Mugen Tsukuyomi drains chakra the same way, too. It's a nice low buzz."

He smiled, narrowing his eyes. "Are you high right now?"

"I am currently draining the man you are carrying, yes."

He stopped, and picked the man off his shoulder, tossing him to her. "Then if we're going to carry him around, you should be doing it. No wonder. Perfect genjutsu, my ass. You're just using it to drain people without me knowing."

"It's healthier for me than cigarettes," she pointed out, mildly, hoisting a grown man over her shoulder. She was strong enough, but this was more a question of leverage. It wasn't easy, and she was more tired than she expected.

He laughed. "I suppose you're not wrong. And I'm not your dad, so… do what you want, I guess. How does that work, though? When you absorb chakra, is it… extra? Because it's not your chakra?"

She shrugged. She didn't know how to tell him that it felt like all chakra was her chakra, and she was just… reclaiming it. That felt wrong. She might feel that way, but some things, you weren't supposed to say.

"It works," she said. "It doesn't really distinguish between my chakra or someone else's chakra."

"So, you just… have loads of chakra?"

"I did eat a bijuu," she pointed out, as they turned onto a bridge. "Most people consider that lots of chakra."

"Oh, right," he muttered. "Is that… how does that work?"

Itachi shrugged. She didn't know. And saying, 'regaining a lost limb' seemed like the wrong thing to say.

"I'll let you know when I figure it out," she said, instead.

"Right. Okay. You do you, Itachi-chan."

She just raised her eyebrows at him, meaningfully. "I already do."

He just nodded, and kept walking.

The sun was slowly making its way down, the clouds stained wine-red, as the day waned. They walked on the road, in no rush, and Itachi could say that she found the time relaxing. It was nice, with only Obito for company, and nothing pressing to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this and wondering how the fic has gained two chapters but the previous chapter is the same, there's a new 5, entitled Abura Soba, which is a short, non-story progression interlude to pad out the space between Rinnegan and Ghosts, since they're both big, development chapters with a lot of things happening. Ghosts has moved to 6 and Yakiniku Q has moved to 7.


	9. Loud and Lousy in the Land of Lightning

Itachi hadn't gone through a portal in nearly two months, and there was something soothing about that. Sure, Konoha likely knew that she was out hunting bounties, by now, but what was the point? They hadn't sent any hunters, after her. Maybe, eventually, they would, but for now, she stayed in the neutral countries.

They'd moved from River directly to Grass, through the Land of Fire instead of Rain, as Obito had suggested. He explained that Pein had a water jutsu, that made it rain over the entire country of Rain, and he could sense any chakra that entered it. That was genuinely impressive. To have him as an ally would be an enormous thing.

In Fire, they'd lingered only long enough to avoid a few patrols and check on those few Konoha chuunin that Zetsu had killed while wearing her body like a stylish black and red Akatsuki cloak. They had no longer been there - and thus, she could no longer bring them back. She needed a body, apparently, or at least enough of someone to bring back.

But then, they moved through Waterfall, to Iron, and then Rice Paddies, and then Hot Water. There, they'd stopped, for a while, before continuing through Frost. Now, they'd stepped over the border into Lightning a week ago, and Itachi found herself smiling, a little. It was a beautiful place. She'd never been there before, and something about the long, imposing mountain ranges, roiling clouds, and long beaches appealed to her. They wandered along a cliffside road, a collection of goats grazing on the hills below.

She mentioned this to Obito, and he scowled. "Kumo-nin are dicks," he pronounced.

Itachi stopped, and stared at him, stifling a yawn. "Why are we here, then? We could have gone somewhere else."

"Yeah, but Iwa sucks, Suna sucks harder, I've already done enough damage to Kiri for one lifetime, and it's best to avoid Konoha, for now, I think."

"I defer to your superior knowledge," she said.

"Yep," he agreed. "Iwa-nin are the worst, though. I mean, maybe Kiri-nin, but I guess I can't really criticize them, since I did turn their country into a war-torn hellhole."

"I hesitate to ask - oh, right," she said, laughing to herself, a little. "Right. Suna. Wind. The desert. Its only exports are scorpions, and creepy puppet users. No wonder you don't want to go."

"That's about the size of it," he proclaimed, eyes crinkling. They were different colors, just barely, now that they were visible in his face. One of them had been hers, originally.

"Right, so, who are we looking for again?" she asked.

"Ah, some guy," he said. "I have… my book!" He pulled out a bingo book, and opened it, flipping through to the right section. "I… ahh… here!" He flipped to the page. "Inouye Naoki. A missing-nin, of jounin rank, from Iwa. Word is, he's supposed to be hiding out in the mountains around here somewhere."

"Good," she chirped. "I've been wanting a decent fight."

"Well, maybe the Kumo-nin will catch us, and you can slap them around for a while," Obito suggested. "Then you can stop bugging me with all this energy."

"Are you saying I'm annoying?" Itachi was honestly taken aback.

"Maybe," he grunted, eyeing her warily. "Sort of? I mean, you should just give them a fighting chance. No genjutsu, for once."

"Okay," she agreed. "I will refrain from using genjutsu for the entire time we're in the Land of Lightning."

"That was easy," he said, sounding surprised. His eyebrows were nearly up to his hairline. She raised her own at him.

"What?"

"You're easy to goad, sometimes," he said.

"What?"

"It's as it sounds."

Itachi frowned, looking away, and hopped up on the thin rock wall, waist-high, that stopped people from plummeting to their deaths, off the path. "I'm not great at talking, sometimes. Not great at saying what I want to say." She sighed. "Can never tell what's too honest and what's not."

"I like that you're honest," he said, surprisingly vehemently. "That way, I never doubt that you're lying to me. And I know that like - Look, I know that you're not…"

"Not what?" Itachi asked, softly.

"You're not like most people. You don't have the same… feelings as them."

"You don't have to beat around the bush," Itachi replied. "I know what I am. My father took me aside, awhile ago, after Hatake Kakashi caught me torturing a target for fun."

"Wait, what? You torture people for fun?"

"To relieve stress, actually. They conspired, I assume, to have me moved to T&I, as a part-time employee."

Obito just moved his mouth, soundlessly, until he remembered how to use his words. "I can't believe you worked at T&I and I just  _didn't know_."

"I'm not a psychopath," she insisted. "I have feelings."

"I know you do. I just… it was a surprise!" he said, smiling. "Please don't kill and eat me."

"I'm not like that." She turned away, staring at the long expanse of cliff. "It was a reaction to the pressure I was under. Pressure I'm not under anymore. It's not a compulsion."

"Okay," he agreed, nodding. "That's fine."

"If I don't know someone, I don't care about them," she explained, because she wanted him to understand. "I have no intrinsic attachment to their lives, or their feelings. Most people do, from what I've seen. I'm not… I just don't care. Maybe I should. But I don't."

"I fought in the Third World War, did you know that?" Obito asked, coolly. "I always wondered how most shinobi could kill. I couldn't stand it. I only did it to save the lives of my friends. It might have been better to care less - you would have been much better off. Probably wouldn't have gotten your team injured or captured, like I did."

Itachi shrugged. "Maybe, but I am glad you've not lost your… kindness? Or regained it, due to the Kotoamatsukami. Whatever you want to call it; the effect is the same. When you suggested bringing back those nin, that was decent. I know I'm not… decent, not like you. So it's helpful to have someone to tell me what the right thing to do is. It's not that I'm not capable of doing it, it's more that it doesn't occur to me."

There was a pause, as they walked along the road. He seemed to consider that, for a while.

"So… you  _want_ me to rein you in?" he finally asked.

"I can't say I'll always listen to you," she pointed out. "But we're partners." Left unspoken was that she figured that Obito's sensibilities might help her actually not completely alienate Konoha. She might need that, to check up on Sasuke in the future.

"Sure."

The road was long, thin, and winding along the cliff. It was more of a hunting trail, than anything. The road stretched down into the valley, where the small resort town of Hana-kawago sat, high in the mountains. It was formed around a network of natural hot springs, and remained a natural tourist destination.

"This might go simpler," Obito said, gently, "if we both use Henge."

"I  _want_  Kumo to know we're here," she pointed out.

"You're mad."

"No. I'm not." She was touchy about this. "I'm not  _normal_ , but I'm not mad."

"Right," he said, sighing, rubbing his hand through his hair. "Not mad. Sorry. I meant it colloquially. Ten years of people thinking I'm dead, and it's all undone in an instant."

" _You_  can wear a Henge, if you like."

"Maa, if Konoha recognizes me, they likely have already, in Waterfall if nowhere else."

"Why would they?"

He glanced over at Itachi, eyes frowning. "Kakashi, the idiot, probably blames himself for my death. So if he catches wind of my description and disguise, he'll be on my trail like an Akimichi on a barbecue stand."

Itachi laughed, surprising herself, stretching out her hands, examining her long, claw-like nails. "And you don't want that?"

"I don't know," Obito admitted. "On one hand, I'd love to see Kakashi again, but on the other, I don't know how to explain where I've been. I haven't been a Konoha shinobi for a decade. Somehow, I don't think 'I was recently unbrainwashed, sorry for letting you think I was dead' will quite cut it."

"Ah," she murmured. "I see. Shisui has not taken my… defection well. I can understand your hesitation."

"Oh?" he asked.

"I don't wish to talk about it."

"Okay," he agreed, lightly. "Look alive." Obito nodded to a tall, green-haired man, as they passed him on the road. He was hurrying, a long dark cloak nearly brushing the ground as he strode.

Itachi wondered, briefly, what he was doing. He certainly looked shifty enough. She imagined he was fleeing from a rendezvous with a dodgy person in a back alley with his illegal merchandise, on a whim.

"I mean that we might need Henge to find him. If he catches wind of us - and I think he might, considering how big this town is, he'll run. We might be well-served by going undercover at least to locate him."

"If we must," she agreed. "But if it comes to a fight, I'm going to be loud."

He rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine."

They passed more people, most of whom looked at them with wariness, or fear. Obito brought them to an alley, off the side of one of the main thoroughfares, where they both used Henge.

Time to hunt for a target.

* * *

The bath was hot, and Omoi savored it for longer than he probably should have. His sensei had taken them on a month-long training trip, out of the village, to a cave in the mountains. He was still sore, and they'd gotten back two days ago.

But B-sensei had given them a whole day off, in the hot springs, and yesterday they'd started a new mission: root out the corruption in the casino, the Red Dragon, that stood in the middle of Hana-kawago. They'd wandered around the floor, yesterday, practicing their infiltration. Omoi had thought that Karui was awful at it - completely noticeable - but it hadn't seemed that they were noticed. And he supposed that was the point - this was the kind of mission where they were learning to infiltrate. They weren't expected to be experts right away.

He sighed, and eased back into the bath. There was something nice about hot springs, although he didn't love the fact that there was an old, withered man, lurking in the water up to his chin a few feet away. A private hot spring, now that was an idea.

Maybe when he became a rich and famous swordsman, he could retire here, and come every evening. Maybe even find a nice girl, one that valued the concept of silence, unlike Karui, to enjoy it with him. That would be a life. He could have a house, high up in the mountains, and herd goats, or something.

Hmm. That bit needed work. Still, he was ten; he had time.

He stood up from the bath, and wandered back through the onsen, wrapping a towel around his waist. He wanted to drip-dry, and if Karui lectured him, he'd just ignore her. Let him enjoy the hot water a little bit longer. She could deal. They weren't even in the same room, anyway.

He stepped in through the door - his teammate was already in bed. Weird dude. Kotoi was a particularly boring old man trapped in a ten-year-old's body. He only preferred white rice, read technical manuals for fun, and had once shrieked at a particularly large bug that surprised him during training.

He went to bed, too, at sunset, religiously, like staying up any time past then would damage him irreparably.

Omoi wanded past his form, bundled in the bed. He settled into his own bed - this was a new casino, and the room was styled in the modern fashion - no tatami or futons here. The beds were solid, and wooden, and bigger than he had at home.

It was a nice room, for sure. Maybe he'd get something like this in his mansion.

He settled down to sleep, and was out within minutes.

The next day, they were fully behind the Henge, and prowling along the casino floor when he saw Karui and Kotoi, both grabbed by large, dark-garbed men, in matching black haori and hakama. Kotoi was grabbed right away, but Karui put up a fight, knocking one man into a mahjong table, before another grabbed her and pressed a cloth to her mouth, and she slumped.

Omoi panicked, and dropped his Henge, drawing his sword and leaping up onto a table. He knew their cover was blown, but he had no time to be surrounded. Screams picked up around him. It would be better to run, and re-group with B-sensei, and then go and rescue his teammates. He could only hope that they were casino security, but he was starting to wonder why casino security would be arresting them - unless they were in on it, too.

He ran, over the tops of tables, spilling tiles, chips, dice, and cards everywhere as he went. Half the crowd had stood up, and was fleeing from the room. A quartet of darkly dressed men and one woman gave chase, and he prepared himself to strike. They all had samurai swords, but it was hit or miss whether they were actual samurai or no. This was do-or-die, he thought. It was time to prove his mettle. These guys were just thugs, but he couldn't let himself get captured, along with his team.

He put everything in him to get away, because he didn't want to have to fight these guys. Not seriously, at least, because they were probably just here as casino security. But then, wouldn't casino security know? Surely the owner had told them. He couldn't be sure. Better safe than sorry.

He reached the edge of the line of tables, and hopped off, putting as much chakra as he could into the jump - he sailed over the head of one of the security guys with a strong leap, and he bounded out the door -

Only to smack into a huge, intimidating man with a gigantic burn on the side of his face, disfiguring him. His sword spun out his hand, and he cursed himself for losing it.

"Oh, no, little cloud," he said, smirking. "You won't be escaping today. No, no no."

And then a hand grabbed Omoi from the neck, and he, too, had a cloth pressed to his face. He inhaled the scent - pineapple - and then he, too, was unconscious.

He only came to, an unknown amount of time later, in a brightly-lit room, with expensive wood floors, an extensive desk and office area, a bank of expensive monitors, and a long couch that stood in front of two entire walls of windows, overlooking both the casino floor and, behind him, the valley outside. It was positively opulent, and Omoi realized that whoever was in charge of this, they were definitely casino security.

The thin, dangerous-looking man who claimed he was the head of security, Hideo, was here, looking sinister and intimidating from behind the bank of monitors, and the big, burn-scarred man was here too.

Looks like the Lightning Daimyo's third cousin had decided to trust the wrong people. She wasn't here, though, and that wasn't the worst thing in the world.

Until another man broke in, and he had her slumped form over his shoulder. Well, this wasn't good - the client was captured, he was captured, and so were Karui and Kotoi. His sensei was nowhere to be seen, but Omoi had faith. B-sensei was a weird guy, but a kick-ass shinobi.

He'd probably come busting in through the door in short order.

The client was unconscious, and Omoi found Karui's eyes, carefully, in the room. He nodded to her - but she just shook her head. They were almost completely hog-tied, as well as gagged, and she was better than him at rope escapes, but she hadn't managed to escape yet. These guys knew what they were doing, clearly.

Kotoi looked panicked, and the client was unmoving, so they were no help. It looked like it was up to B-sensei.

The large man eyed them, but said nothing - instead, he sat down on the couch, and watched,as they groaned, and shifted.

The room was quiet, oddly, only the quiet clack of keyboard keys and the whirring of electricity in the room. Omoi could feel it - his grasp of lightning let him feel the currents of electricity that allowed most machinery to work. However, this wasn't very much reassurance - without his hands, he could do very little.

A security guy came up. His haori had a little insignia on the sleeves. He must have been higher-ranking. Omoi wanted to scoff - the entire ensemble reminded him a little bit too much of Kumo's practice of flak vests.

The guy started whispering to the obvious leader, and he stood, walking away. Omoi glanced back at Karui, raising his eyebrows. She just sneered, and rolled her eyes. He was trying, too! She was just too useless. It was annoying.

Where was B-sensei?

The large man went over to the computer screens, and then there was nothing but quiet murmuring, before he straightened up.

"Go. Find this last shinobi." He motioned to a group of the security. They trouped out of the room, and then it was quiet again.

No one else spoke - there was silence, as the man turned and watched out of the long window in front of them. Omoi couldn't see what he was looking at, but he could tell that the guy didn't like what he could see. He turned, snarling, and went to the desk. Omoi figured that this had to be B-sensei.

A crash came, and then the wall exploded. A man came flying through, in an explosion of plaster and dust, and a thin girl came in through the hole. She was a couple years older than him, dressed like a cute kunoichi, with long black hair and a deathly pale complexion.

She also obviously had some serious Kekkai Genkai going on, because she had three eyes, including a horrible, glaring, blood-red monstrosity open vertically on her forehead, two dark horns that rose from her hair, and long black clawlike nails.

That was the thing about bloodline limits: most of the time, you could never tell. Most people hid theirs, to not give any advantages away to the enemy. Sometimes, if they were particularly drastic, you could see a small sign, but this girl wasn't hiding any of it.

Omoi thought that she looked awfully civilian, standing there dressed like that, glaring around at all of them.

Three of the men ran forward, charging her with swords raised. A fourth hung back and hurled shuriken.

The girl glanced over all of them, and then three things happened, in quick succession: her eyes burned red, and twisted into a strange red and black shape; there was a rush of movement that Omoi couldn't track; and then she rose from a crouch, in the center of three motionless bodies, swords clattering to the floor.

If Omoi hadn't been so tightly gagged, his jaw would have dropped.

Credit to the fourth man: he did not stop hurling shuriken. The girl raised her own kunai, and casually batted aside the incoming projectiles, smiling.

Her canines were pointed, long and fang-like, in her face, and Omoi was forced to reconsider his stance. If everyone knew you had special abilities, but couldn't move half as fast as you could, then that didn't really matter, did it?

If you were strong enough, you could dress however you wanted.

She blurred forward, then, too, and grabbed the man by the neck, dragging him down to her level. As Omoi watched, his young face twisted and aged, and he shriveled up to a raisin, slumping dead to the floor.

Suddenly, with the four of them down, there were a lot less people in the room.

The big, scarred man snarled. "Uchiha."

"Are you Inouye Naoki?" The girl's voice was as young as the rest of her.

"What if I am?"

"Then I'm here for your head," she replied.

He grinned, nastily, and gestured. Someone behind him placed a kunai in front of Omoi's throat.

"Don't move, or I'll cut your little friends' throats."

"Bad move," the Uchiha warned. "You do realize that I'm a Konoha missing-nin, right?" She fingered the hitai-ate around her neck, a long scratch through the leaf symbol. "Threatening me with the lives of Kumo genin I've never met before is hardly a way to make me do what you want."

"Most people would flinch at letting children die," the big, scarred man replied, smiling slightly. "I just wanted to know. It's always nice to meet someone who's not  _weak_." He turned, and swept his eyes across them. "Kill them."

Omoi tensed, certain that his life was about to end. A man grabbed him from behind, holding his head in place. He was sure his throat was about to be slit. But it wasn't. The man's grip slackened, and a kunai dropped. He twisted, and looked at his teammates.

There were other security guys behind Karui and Kotoi. Neither of them had slit the throats they were supposed to, however. They both had strange, square panels of empty space behind them, and black spikes, stuck through their necks.

A brain stem injury. A quick, brutal death.

He turned and stared at the girl. She was smirking, as she withdrew her hand from a similar, oddly colored tear in space. Her eyes had gone weird, purple and ringed. He wasn't sure what kind of dojutsu that was, but he was surprised that she didn't have a Sharingan.

"They're babies," she admonished, lightly. "Genin. Come now, you're a missing-nin. There's no quicker way to end up hounded by hunter-nin than killing genin from a major village."

She wasn't wrong, but that was a cold assessment. How about the fact that killing kids was generally considered a Very Bad thing? Though, they were missing-nin. That meant that they weren't like other people. They didn't have the same kind of loyalty. Omoi couldn't imagine turning against Kumo.

He wasn't sure how this girl was this strong, but it was clear that this wasn't the arrogant, foolish girl whose confidence outweighed her ability. Appearance didn't mean anything, he reminded himself. But she seemed interested keeping them alive, at least. That was something, since B-sensei hadn't shown up.

"Foolishly sentimental," the big scarred man hissed.

"Mercy is the provision of the strong," the girl returned, smirking.

The door on the other end of the room opened up, then, and two more large men stepped through. They were wearing black cloaks, with red clouds. One had weird body paint on his jaw, like red stripes, and another had a too-large, bulbous head on a thin body. Omoi shuddered. What was it with weird missing-nin and their weirder body deformities today?

"Finally," the scarred man who probably was Inouye Naoki said. "You're late."

"We were promised the jinchuuriki," one of them replied. It was the man with the strange jaw - he had a Kiri hitai-ate. He also had an enormous sword, like a butcher's blade. Omoi worried, but he knew B-sensei could take care of himself.

"Here's his team," Inouye said. "He'll be sure to come for them."

The new, strange missing-nin eyed them like pieces of meat at a street vendor. Omoi didn't like that look. But the Uchiha girl was there, and, oddly, he felt reassured by that. She'd defended them once, which probably meant that she wouldn't let them be killed now, even if they were still tied up.

There were only three goons left, too. But these new ninja looked dangerous - the kind of missing-nin that gave everyone a bad name.

"Who's this, then?" the odd, big-headed man asked. He had an incongruously high voice, and a Grass forehead protector.

"I'm Uchiha Itachi," the girl announced. "I'm just bounty-hunting. For fun and profit. You all have delightful prices on your heads, did you know that?"

"Kill her," Inouye commanded. "Otherwise, she'll interfere."

Uchiha smiled, low and satisfied and entertained, like this was the best thing that could have happened all day. It gave Omoi the chills.

"Well, boys," she announced, holding up her hands, palms up, and gesturing towards her. "Bring it on."

There was a slow, resounding silence. She'd been very rude, after all, and maybe they weren't quite expecting that kind of expression from someone like her.

"Okay," the big man said, his sword out. He leapt forward, swinging it in a massive arc. The girl, however, didn't hesitate. She leapt lightly into the air, and spun in a kick that he twisted to avoid. He had a comparatively long recovery out of the move, and she might have taken advantage of the face that he was on the back foot if it was not for his partner.

The oddly-proportioned man had not been idle, instead, his bald head was glowing, and strange light was moving up and down. A flickering arc of light slammed into the girl, staggering her.

She stumbled, and the first man bashed her across the head with the sword. She laughed, lightly, and grinned, and then he was blown away by a jutsu so fast, Omoi hadn't seen any hand signs.

She did use them next, however, flashing through them so fast he couldn't follow. She raised her finger, and a beam of white light shot out, towards the big-headed man. He frowned, and the light vibrate, echoing back and forth across his cranium, conjuring a strange shield. The beam was halted by the shield, and then the sword guy was up again.

The oddly-proportioned man was back at it again, and the girl, it seemed, had to dodge away, snarling. She twitched, and her body changed, oddly. Her long hair's texture shifted, and for a moment, he thought it was becoming like Karui's, but then he realized it was feathered, and her lips were stained black.

The sword struck out, once, twice, and although Omoi was being taught by one of the most skilled swordsmen Kumo had ever seen, he couldn't help but reluctantly impressed at the way that this man wielded the enormous blade like it was a cute little shortsword.

The girl, however, had somehow gotten even faster - the blur between the two shinobi increased, even as the big-headed man was tossing out more bursts of light - his jutsu was odd, truly odd, but apparently very powerful.

The real oddness, however, came from the fact that, suddenly, somehow, the girl just  _wasn't there_. Neither the sword nor the strange jutsu was hitting her, but she was somehow everywhere. Omoi was a genin - he was a pretty skilled genin, so he could move faster than most civilians could follow, but he couldn't even fathom the fact that this girl, only a few years older than him, could move faster than he could see, and could fight two grown men.

She made it look - well, it didn't look easy, but she still achieved it with an effortless kind of grace that left him slightly awestruck.

The missing-nin who might or might not have been but probably was Inouye Naoki, too, was getting in on the action, tossing out small, burning embers that arced gently through the air. He had to be careful in his use of them, as a three-person fight was hard to keep track of in the first place, even when it was slow. The embers, however, did not seem to be working correctly. Whenever he scored a hit on the Uchiha girl, the sparks fizzled into nothing.

When he accidentally hit his allies, they blew up. The sword guy had burns all over his arms, and the big-headed guy had slapped a few away with his mind jutsu.

Omoi couldn't even explain this anymore. It was verging on ridiculous.

That was, until the other guy  _whirled into existence from nothing_  right next to him. He was tall, and broad, and wore a half-mask under red, glaring eyes and a scratched-out Kiri headband. Half his face was twisted, and scarred, or else he probably would have been handsome. Omoi wasn't sure what was going on there, because that looked an awful lot like the Sharingan, even if his eyes had different patterns, and there were no Uchiha in Mist, as far as he knew.

The man looked around at the scene, eyes wide. "Oh, no," he said, half to himself.

The girl paused long enough to toss the sword guy at the other guy, and stopped in front of them long enough to snarl out, "You're late!" in an annoyed voice.

Oh, it was like Karui all over again.

"Sorry, Itachi-chan!" the man said, in a high, obnoxious voice. "I had to help an old lady get her cat out of a tree!"

The girl bared her teeth, which just made her look like a demon. "That better not be true."

And then the sword was whistling through where she was, and she was back to fighting them again.

Maybe-Inouye didn't hesitate - he directed a stream of the embers at the new guy who might have been an Uchiha, and booked it out the window. The thin man who'd falsely claimed to be the head of security, Hideo, was long gone.

The man just shrieked, and slapped them out of the air, like they were party favors. They exploded harmlessly through the floor. He twitched, and let the big, burn-scarred man go. He turned and opened Omoi's bonds, cutting the ropes with a kunai.

Omoi stood up, unwrapping himself, and tore off the gag. He spat, once, twice, to make sure he got the nasty taste out of his mouth.

He leaned up, and asked, "Why help?"

The man twisted from where he was untying Karui, "It's the right thing to do."

"You sure you aren't from Konoha?" The question was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

The man stilled, and glanced at him. "That's just a stereotype. Makes foolish Kumo-nin underestimate Konoha-nin."

"Like how Kiri is full of bloodthirsty killers?"

He laughed. "No, that one's true. It's just that the other four villages are full of killers, too."

"Cloud's not," he protested.

The man's eyes crinkled, behind his mask, as he cut Karui loose. "Hey, where's sensei?" she asked, the second she was free.

"No idea," Omoi informed her.

Karui bristled, drawing her sword, and putting it on the new guy. "You're gonna back away from my teammates, bub."

"Okay," the man agreed. He was rather disarming, for a missing-nin. There was something gentle and welcoming about his face, despite the scars - he just didn't seem the type to survive a cutthroat life of villains and monsters. "I'll just go and - well, do my thing."

He went to leave, when Omoi asked, "Have you seen our sensei?"

"I haven't seen any Kumo-nin, other than you guys."

Just then, B-sensei walked in the door, looking as unperturbed as ever. "Yo, yo, yo! Sorry for being so slow!"

"B-sensei!" they chorused, nearly in unison.

"Good," the strange shinobi. "B-san, hello! Please don't attack me, I had no part of this."

"Omoi, Karui, Kotoi, reportoi!" B-sensei commanded, dark sunglasses glinting over all of them.

"This guy is weird, but he did help," Karui decided, finally. "And his partner is fighting the guys who are apparently hunting you?"

"And the security force was definitely corrupt," Omoi added, "since they attacked us and were going to hold us for ransom - they even threatened to kill us."

"All right. Looks like you're on the side of the light," B-sensei acquiesced, to the strange, scarred man.

"I may no longer have a village, but that doesn't mean I'm completely without a conscience."

"Ha!" the girl said, from the other side of the room. She was panting, making short, shallow breaths, but both her opponents were down, and blood dripped from her hand. "You could have helped, Tobi."

The strange, masked shinobi cocked his head. "You were the one that wanted a good fight."

B-sensei cut the client's bonds, and picked her up, gently. He gestured his team over, and they followed. "I can't you two leave, though, even if it ends in a row."

The girl Uchiha stepped forward, tilting her head. "I don't think you can stop us."

"Now, Itachi-chan," the other man, Tobi, warned, "I vote for being nice to the Kumo-nin."

"Missing-nin. State your business in the land of Lightnin'!"

Tobi laughed, sheepishly. Omoi drew his sword, feeling the tension rocket up.

The missing-nin raised his hands, palms up, and said, "We come in peace." He was grinning behind his mask. "We don't want a fight." Itachi came up behind him, and sneered menacingly.

"The girl did rescue us," Omoi admitted.

"I'd go more with, 'you can't really stop us, B-san,'" the girl said. There was something awful about the blood-red eye in the middle of her forehead. It gave Omoi the creeps. He wondered if she could see out of it, or whether it was just horrible decoration.

"Be nice," Tobi warned. "We're trying to make friends."

"Well, they have no reason to befriend us, idiot. We're missing-nin, who are almost certainly dangerous criminals."

"But we're  _nice_ missing-nin," Tobi whined.

Omoi couldn't help the snort that escaped him.

B-sensei grumbled to himself. "I'm not gonna trust you guys. Something strange about you, to my partner's eyes."

That apparently meant something to Itachi, because she smiled, showing pointed teeth. It wasn't a pleasant smile - it was leonine and hungry, like she wanted to devour them all.

"He's very wise, this partner of yours."

"Itachi-chan!" Tobi protested. "This isn't nice Itachi! This is scary Itachi. We don't want scary Itachi!"

Incongruously, she stuck out her tongue at him.

"The comedy routine is great, but you assholes are still going down," Karui warned. She had her sword out, too.

"Let's go," Uchiha Itachi commanded, snarling. "No making friends, Tobi."

"But-"

"No buts, Tobi." She turned those strange eyes to B-sensei, and declared, "We're going to leave now. You're not going to stop us, because that's a shit way to repay someone who saved your students' lives."

B-sensei eyed her carefully, and nodded.

She grinned, again, and showed those teeth. Then she lifted a hand, and the floor of the room opened up in a few places - underneath her and her partner, and the bodies of the other missing-nin she'd beaten.

They fell through, as one, into the strange, square portals. Tobi yelped, indignantly, as he disappeared. And then they were gone.


	10. Black

Itachi had transported them directly to an inn in Hot Water, one where they'd stayed previously. It had, as the name of the country might have suggested, an extensive hot springs in the back. Itachi had liked it quite a bit.

They appeared in the lobby of the onsen. Surprisingly, the girl manning the desk wasn't even fazed at all, simply smiling placidly at them. That was one of the things that Itachi liked most about her. She couldn't be any older than sixteen, with dark hair and eyes. She was pleasantly good looking: Itachi would not call her excessively so, but her smile was by far her best trait.

"Hello," Obito said, warmly. Itachi leaned down and collected the sword, the Kubikiribocho, from the floor. She was going to hold onto it for now. It was far too large for her to wield easily, but it might be fun to throw at people.

"No dead bodies," the girl said, firmly.

"They're not dead," Itachi informed her. "They've been poisoned. Venomed? Is venomed a word?"

"I don't know." Obito looked sick of her, right then. Good for him. He could deal.

"Definitely not," the innkeeper girl said. "Not a word at all."

"Well, they've been afflicted by venom, then," Itachi said, decisively. "Whatever the right word is for that. But they're definitely still alive."

"Will you be paying for their rooms, as well?"

Itachi wasn't the one holding the money, so she just looked to Obito. He sighed a huge, put-upon sigh, and stuck his hands in his pockets.

"You should have taken us to the outskirts of town, Itachi-chan."

"I didn't think it through that much. Or were we going to stay and eat Cloud's jinchuuriki, too?"

"What are we supposed to do with them?" Obito asked.

"Aren't you in charge of them?" Itachi asked. "I didn't want to kill your minions, without, you know, consulting you. And you're sort of in disguise right now, right? So I can't exactly ask you in public, can I?"

"We're in public," he said, snorting. "Dunno if you noticed."

Itachi rolled her eyes, turning to the girl behind the desk. "Innkeeper-san! Did you know that this guy is secretly the leader of an international criminal organization?"

"That's nice," the girl replied. "Good for him."

"See?" she asked. "No in here cares. This is Hot Water. If we were still in Hana-kawago, yeah, you know that B-san would be on that info like a chubby civilian on dumplings. So I brought them along. Our very own party favors."

"And stole Juzo-san's sword."

"I like it. Maybe I'll keep it, I dunno." Itachi leveled her gaze at him.

He sighed. "What use is a Swordsman of the Mist without his sword?"

"What use is a swordsman who can't be good without his sword? A shinobi should be more than his weapon," she returned.

"Whatever," he agreed.

"So, what are we doing with them?" Itachi asked.

"How competent were they, on a scale of one to ten?"

"Seven. Maybe a six. They'd make decent jounin, but B-san could have wiped the floor with them. Why were they there, anyway? I thought the Akatsuki weren't going after the bijuu yet."

Obito sneered. "They aren't. I think they were trying to get recognized for taking initiative."

"Surprisingly short-sighted."

"So what's the verdict?" the innkeeper girl asked. "Killing them or not?"

"You don't get a vote," Obito informed her.

"My vote is for them to live, so the inn gets more money," the girl said immediately.

"I want to eat them," Itachi declared. At Obito's eye roll and the girl's flinch, she realized how that sounded. "Metaphorically, of course."

"Is it, though?" Obito asked. "It's the best way to describe it. You are literally consuming their life force."

"Draining," Itachi suggested, folding her arms.

"If you can consistently call it that, I'll concede the point."

She could feel her face going red. "Mean."

"Itachi-chan, it's not that you're not cute, it's more that you seem to see other people's life energy as opiate-flavored soldier pills."

"I feel like you're being uncomfortably honest with me and I'm not sure how to feel about that."

"Smile, and eat the idiots. Average jounin are replaceable, you won't whine at me about giving the sword back if you don't have to, and," he said, smirking and walking to the counter, "I only have to pay for one room."

He threw down money, and the girl took it, smiling. "Thank you for your patronage. Could have done without the drama, but that's ninjas for you."

"As a reward, you get to eat them," Obito told Itachi. "But you have to drag them out of here and dispose of them on the outskirts of town. You'll be able to find me in the onsen, later. Lead on, innkeep-san."

"Shitty old man," Itachi grumbled, yawning, as she concentrated chakra to her third eye and invoked Yomotsu Hirasaka. It was not the easiest technique in the world, and it burned through chakra very fast. Still, the utility of instant portals was not to be denied.

* * *

There was, shockingly, a perk to having your legs chopped off by a psychotic chakra ghost and re-grown, forcefully, from the strange alien goo that replaced a significant portion of your body and the very dodgy enzyme in your blood that simulated sage mode, installed by a mad scientist.

She no longer had leg hair, given that her legs were comprised of mostly goo. Hair didn't grow on goo. It was a small thing, but it was a perk. There were plenty of minuses, but she was dealing with those, honest. The restless sleep wasn't fantastic, and the fear of being touched was much less so.

Still, life wasn't all bad. She was in an onsen! With other women! And they'd swept their gazes over to her and stared, but it hadn't been because she had a dick - it had been because she had demonic-looking kekkai genkai sprouting out of her head, fangs in her mouth, and skin the color of moonlight.

Itachi settled into the water of the hot spring, concentrating on that pleasant feeling, instead of the fact that they looked at her like she was a monster because she was one. She had a cute little vagina, and she fit right in. Nothing to see here, except the obvious inhumanity, please move along.

The springs were pleasant and warm, and she ignored what the old civilian women were gossiping about, and relaxed into the water. They shot her suspicious looks, and they almost certainly were gossiping about her, but she couldn't do anything about that.

The warmth was calm, and soothing, and it lulled her, gently, as she put her head against the rock. The Rinne Sharingan, as always, remained open, watching, but she closed her two, paired eyes, and relaxed.

She hadn't been sleeping well, not really. It was not entirely unexpected; she did sometimes wake in a cold sweat, seeing the malice in his cold, golden eyes, the smell of burned flesh in her nostrils; but equally as disturbing, she could only rest on the back of her head now. The horns were too long to allow the side of her head to be comfortable, and the gigantic, glaring red eye on her forehead prevented sleeping on her front.

Itachi had never considered how she slept all that important, but she was uncomfortable on her back, still unused to sleeping that way, even after months.

But here, in the hot water, that was truly soothing, so she drifted off in the warmth of the water. Perhaps it was foolish - she was a missing-nin, after all, but her third eye was open and her instincts were never entirely dormant, not even when she slept.

Itachi woke, later - though she did not know how long - to a bird, perching on one of her horns. The sun had gone down, so the pool was only illuminated with gentle, electric lights. She and the crow were alone.

Still not moving or opening her eyes, Itachi murmured, "Hello, Kuro-san."

"Summoner-san. Have you forgotten us?"

"No. I've been busy."

"You might have been less busy, if you had me helping you."

"It's not that kind of busy, Kuro."

The crow clicked its beak. "No? Fine, make me say it. I've missed being you. It's not so bad. You've got some new abilities, even! And it's dreadful at the nest. Aka, my brother, has chicks. The parents are always going on about him. Me, I have a summoner who doesn't even call."

If she had not had him on her horn, she would have bowed. "My apologies, Kuro-san. I will endeavor to summon you more."

"How about now? We have time. We're alone, aren't we?"

"I don't see why not."

"Good," it squawked, and clicked its beak again.

There was a soft splash, and then, she was looking at herself, eyes wide and smirk wider.

"Oh!" Kuro said. "More upgrades than I thought. No wonder you're in a bathhouse completely naked, Itachi-san."

"You are the same crow," Itachi realized out loud.

"Well, duh! What did you think? That we were all named Kuro?"

"...Yes? But the technique leaves a corpse?"

The other Itachi laughed, a happy, pleased burble. She was sure that she hadn't ever made that noise in her entire life.

"Silly human. We summons don't die that easy."

Itachi nodded, bowing her head. "I am sorry. It was immensely foolish of me not to ask."

"It was. You're my first human, too. I thought you didn't want any more after the crow clone technique," he said, sounding disgruntled.

"It was brilliant. Why do you think I used it so much?"

Kuro shrugged, standing up a little bit in the water. Her body didn't really have breasts yet, but they had the beginnings of them.

"Coulda been a lot of things. 'Course, I never asked. That was dumb of me, huh?" Itachi nodded, dumbly, again, and the crow leaned closer. "I'll let you in on a little secret, though: I snuck a few into your memories. Genjutsu are pretty cool. Your idea with using my deaths was inspired."

"Your deaths?"

Kuro grinned, showing sharp teeth. It really was quite the look. Itachi was starting to understand just what freaked everyone out so much upon meeting her.

"Well, that's the thing: when I'm you, I'm you. That's why it's so easy to be you."

"Oh," Itachi said, nonplussed. "I thought it was just me in those clones."

"Silly of you. Here I thought you understood what summons were."

Itachi was somewhat dumbfounded. How had she been this foolish? She was relatively intelligent person, and undoubtedly a capable shinobi. Surely this big a miscalculation was beyond her.

But Kuro's words were true; they rang with that iron-hard, discomforting ring of something that simply hadn't occurred to her. A place where she was just wrong. Part of being a genius meant that she hated being ignorant, and thus, rarely was but even that was a double-edged sword. She rarely had to ask for clarification on things that were not feelings-related, and thus, was unused to this. She'd been a fool - she'd taken the first thing that the crows had offered and run with it, not questioning they were living, breathing beings, with thoughts and feelings of their own, and not simply feathered jutsu scrolls.

"Please," she said, "forgive me, Kuro-san." She bowed, low, uncaring of the way it was also dunking her face in the water, since it was deep and she was short.

"I was frustrated with you, Itachi-san," the crow agreed. "But that was a while ago. I don't hold onto grudges."

"If you were me," Itachi asked, quietly, "how come you couldn't tell how I felt about the technique?"

The clone of her that was also a crow replied, "Well, that's the thing - you didn't think about the technique when you were using it - I knew you liked it, of course, but not much else. You didn't think about me much, honestly. You had enough to think about. Now, you've got more time. So, I want to teach you some things! I hope you don't mind if I stick around."

Itachi considered that - a clone of her was sort of overkill, but Obito would freak if she convinced him she had somehow divided. "Okay," she agreed. "But as far as Obito knows, I somehow asexually reproduced in the hot spring."

"Oh," the copy said, sidling closer. Her lips leaned close to Itachi's ear, and Itachi jerked away. "Oh!"

"I don't - something happened to me. Can't you feel it? The desire not to be touched?"

"Yes," the crow said, pulling back and frowning. "Let me think… I think something will work. Are your ears pierced?"

"No," Itachi admitted. "I never got the chance."

"That's fine. You mind me piercing your ears, then?"

"No, I guess not?"

"Okay," she said, pulling closer again, slowly, hands raised. She slowly ran a thin finger along the shell of Itachi's ear, and Itachi couldn't hold back the shudder. "If you can hold on for just one second, I can…" she grabbed the earlobe, not forcefully, but hard enough to hold it steady. A stab of pain echoed through Itachi's ear, and then…

Nothing happened, even as Kuro drew back, eyes bright with mischief. "Does that work?"

"No," Itachi said. "Was that supposed to do something?"

"Yes!"

"Well, it didn't work."

"Well, hmm, let me…" And then it  _did_ work. Itachi could see Kuro, there, in the water, quirky half-grin on her face, but she could also see herself, looking slightly concussed at herself, eyes wide.

It was jarring, and her mind swam with the juxtaposition. This, oddly, helped her focus, and she was able to rationalize which was which, since one had gone pale and shaky, and one field of vision blurred. She slumped against the rock, closing her eyes.

This helped ground, her, too, until her mind was ready to accept both fields of vision.

"That's… that's very useful. How did you even know that could do that? I never did."

"We're crows," Kuro said, smartly. "You know things about crows? Crows talk. So we know things - that's where the clone jutsu came from. We're not great warriors, and we can't really aid you in battle, but we have spies everywhere. The man in Rain, who also has the Rinnegan - he can do this, on a larger scale. That's how I know. All you need to do is pierce me with one of your chakra rods, and I think it'll be us instead of you and me."

"That's - that seems like a little much," Itachi admitted. "I-"

"Come on! Think about it! It's two bodies, not one!"

"But then I'd have to share everything with you," she admitted.

"Not Sasuke," Kuro said. "I won't ask you to share him. I know what it means to you."

"That's…"

"But I'm you," Kuro protested.

"Are you, though?" she asked. Though… Sasuke… she couldn't think about him, right now. "That's more what I'm worried about than anything." And if Kuro really was her, she would know how Itachi felt about Sasuke. Or did she?

"I see you don't believe me. Well, why don't we give it a try. I am your summon, after all. If you really don't like it, we can stop. Promise."

Itachi was leery, but she fingered the spike in her ear. It was a minor thing, all things considered. She duplicated one, with her chakra rod, and handed it to Kuro. She took it, and stabbed it, harshly, into her ear, and then, Itachi could feel her, as well as see through her eyes.

"Oh," she said, almost against her will. It wasn't as simple as Itachi and Kuro, sharing two minds but one consciousness. That might not have been untrue, but it wasn't that they were speaking to each other - their connection was too close for words. They were just Itachi, and Kuro at the same time. Itachi could remember the crow summon's nest, and Kuro could see the bits of Itachi that she rarely shared, like her initial reluctance towards Sasuke, before he wormed his way into her heart, or her recent turmoil, since that fight with Shisui.

But that didn't necessarily illustrate what it was, either. It wasn't that they shared the same mind, because Itachi could differentiate between her body and Kuro's body. They didn't totally share that.

But it was just them, somehow. She was still her, and Kuro was still Kuro, but they were close enough not to need words to communicate. And Kuro hadn't been lying - she was just as Itachi, as Itachi was herself.

It was confusing to use words to describe something that, fundamentally, was not made of them. It was made of the space between them, of contradictions and subtleties, and, in the warmth of the hot spring, Itachi could feel nothing but relaxation.

Kuro came, and lay a warm hand on Itachi's shoulder. She could feel it coming, from a long while off - she could see Kuro's intent, her desire to make Itachi feel safe with it, and she found that she didn't react. It was nice, for once, to be held by someone who she could be sure had no ill intentions. It didn't totally mitigate her discomfort, but she could handle this sort of contact.

"What if you disagree with me?" she asked, out loud.

"Then we'll talk about it. I can be you without necessarily agreeing with you about everything."

There was something soothing to that, if nothing else, and Itachi found herself not wary or tense, for the first time in a long time. Words didn't seem necessary in that moment. Eventually, she leaned into the touch, and they sat there, quietly, just touching each other. It was nice. Itachi found it rather more soothing than she'd expected.

She was asleep again, in minutes.

* * *

The next morning, of course, she was woken by Obito's indignance.

"Don't tell me you have a long-lost twin somewhere that you just forgot to mention."

"Oh yes," Itachi said, half-asleep. "Something like that."

"I can't believe you didn't mention me," Kuro said, her arm still thrown over Itachi's hip. "Your own twin sister!"

"It's a clone," Obito declared. "It's gotta be a clone. One of those fancy ones you mentioned."

"Nope!"

He snorted. Itachi blinked against the bright light of the morning, and curled closer into Kuro's embrace, rustling the futon's sheets.

"Itachi, I have a Mangekyo ability that lets me see through lies. Don't try this shit. Where did you even find her?"

"She found me."

"Right, right, that's what I'm supposed to believe."

"It's the truth!" She protested, opening her eyes enough to glared at him properly. The Rinne Sharingan didn't really count.

"Okay, seriously. I want to know."

"It's a clone," she admitted. "But not. It's complicated. I have a crow summon that can turn into a clone of me. Kuro, meet Obito. Obito, meet Kuro."

"Right, hi," Obito said, stiffly. Itachi could feel Kuro stretch, next to her.

"Hello, Obito."

"What is the point of having a crow that is also a clone of you? Can't you just make shadow clones, like a normal person?"

"Well, I didn't always have the chakra of a bijuu to call upon. I once found shadow clones taxing. Kuro is much more chakra-efficient, and I can see through her eyes, and she can see through mine. It's like having two of me. Just think, this way even if this Hoshigaki guy can flood an entire valley, we still won't die. Like Pein."

"You mean you won't die. I can become intangible whenever I want." He folded his arms. "How did you know Pein has more than one body?"

"You told me," Itachi said, blinking blearily. "Are you senile already, old man? If you aren't leaving me alone, I guess it's time to get up."

"Yeah, yeah, complain all you want. Sage, what am I going to do with two of you."

"You're going to put up with me," Kuro responded, silkily. "I'm just Itachi, anyway. There's got to be some intimidation factor in having two S-class missing nin on your arm, anyway."

"On his arm?" Itachi asked, mildly offended. She even turned over, to prod Kuro in the ribs. "What are we, prostitutes?"

"That's what everyone's thinking," Kuro claimed, primly, shoving Itachi's hands away. "A grown man spending time with a thirteen-year-old girl? It doesn't help that he handles all the money, you know. They think he's paying you for sex. Or keeping you as a weird slave thing."

"Nobody keeps me for weird sex slave stuff!" Itachi protested, throwing the pillow over herself. "If they did, I'd eat them."

"Oh, no, that's really what they think?" Obito asked.

Kuro vibrated with amusement. "I'm not saying that every single person thinks that, but you know that people definitely do."

"That's so weird. He's like my cousin, though. Surely some people think of that."

"Nope. You're definitely his sex slave. Or his willing prostitute. Usually one of those two."

Obito facepalmed. "I don't know if I can do this. Two of you?"

"Deal with it."

Obito turned around, shaking his head. "Whatever. Do whatever you like! It's not like I'm the responsible adult around here, or anything."

"You're not a responsible adult," Kuro countered, sitting up on the futon and pointing. "You're just an adult-sized kid!"

"Hey! I resent that notion. I've been alive for a whole ten years longer than you, Itachi-chan." Kuro stuck out her tongue at Obito, and he laughed. "I think clonetachi is more fun than real Itachi."

"Now that was rude," she huffed. She could feel it when Kuro stuck out her tongue, and the light, playful feeling that Kuro felt. How strange. She had felt such a thing before, but she did not feel it now. Kuro's feelings were not hers. They were closely linked enough to feel them, but it was like how a human smiled, instinctively, at a joke they were not in on. Like they were both in the room together, and Itachi could feel a little bit of that natural vicariousness.

She could feel that Kuro sort of meant that, but it was a feeling Itachi shared. She knew that Obito felt like he ought to be taking care of her, like an adult would, but she did not have the same feelings. He didn't have to - she could handle herself. She had proven that, enough.

In Konoha, they had pushed her too hard, but they had never doubted that she could take care of herself. Which she could, thank you very much. In fact, she could do that right now. What was she doing? Hunting hadn't been as relaxing as she thought it was. It dawned on her, like a ton of bricks.

She rolled forward, and sat up. "I don't wanna leave."

He sighed - a long and dramatic thing. "I thought you wanted a nice easy vacation. This was that."

She shrugged. "I like the onsen. I don't wanna leave yet."

"No?"

"I changed my mind. We made a bunch of money. Come back for me in like, a month, okay? I need a different kind of break."

Obito sighed, and shrugged. "So what am I supposed to do?"

"What did you do before I came along?" Itachi asked. "I assume it was just sitting in a cave all day, reading Icha Icha or something."

"Maybe squeeze in a wank or two," Kuro piped in.

Itachi snorted. "You can't tell me crows masturbate."

"No, but humans do." Kuro stuck out her tongue, and winked. Then she paused. "Well, maybe Obito doesn't. He did mention once that he was half-goo."

"Weird," Obito commented. "Wait, how do you know that?"

"I know all the stuff that Itachi knows," Kuro said primly. "Duh."

"Maybe I do need a break, from the two of you," he muttered. Then he stretched, folding his fingers together and pushing his palms out. "I suppose I have some stuff to do, for a while. Important world leaders to genjutsu and all. Maybe it would be nice if I knew a genjutsu specialist or something."

"I'll let you know if I meet one," Itachi promised.

Obito just sighed, and pointed at her. "Don't go anywhere," he warned. And then he vanished, in a swirl of kamui.

"I'm going back to bed," Itachi informed Kuro. And she rolled over, and curled up in the futon. Silently, Kuro slipped back under, as well, taking the position of big spoon. It felt - not great, but acceptable. She could deal with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay. I've struggled quite a bit with direction in this story, lately. Hopefully, things will be smoother sailing from here on out!


	11. Enter the Crow

Sasuke was crossing the kitchen when he stopped abruptly, staring. His mother was there, her eyes firm, dressed in loose pants and a jounin's vest. It had not been strange to see her in the kitchen, for most of his life. It was her space as much as the office was his father's, but she had been a ghost, lately, in more ways than one.

"Mom," he said, surprised.

"Sasuke," she replied, evenly, tilting her head. Her hair was damp, and it looked like she had been exercising. "Is your homework done?"

"No," he admitted, ducking his head. "I was at the orphanage with Shisui-san."

Mikoto smiled, a rarity these days. "It's very good that you volunteered your time for that. I'm proud of you, Sasuke."

"What are you doing?" he blurted out before he could stop himself. He felt himself blush at such a forward question.

"I'm coming out of retirement," she announced, folding her arms. "It's been a long time since I had something to focus on like this. I've been… I haven't been here for you, Sasuke. I need this."

"Okay," he said, nodding decisively, convincing himself more than anyone else. "Okay." It wasn't like she had been around all that much in the first place. He regretted that thought, almost as soon as it entered his head. He was a big kid, going into his third year in the Academy soon. He'd be the man of the house before he knew it. He could handle it.

He'd almost been taking care of himself, lately, anyway. Shisui had sort of helped, more than he would admit to his cousin, but it was more than nothing.

"I'm glad," his mother said. "This will be good - for both of us."

"Okay," he repeated, feeling dumb. There wasn't any reason for him to be affected by this. He was grown up now. Almost a ninja, and ninja were not allowed to show their tears.

He settled himself, and nodded once more. "Be safe," he told her.

"I will," Mikoto told him. "I brought home dinner, by the way," she said, depositing a bag filled with what smelled like rice on the low-slung kitchen table, "in case you wanted any."

"Okay," he agreed. There was no sound but a quiet shuffling, as she drew out the food. It was sushi - she'd even gotten crab, his favorite. He smiled, and settled down with his chopsticks.

She settled across from him, laying down a pair of metal fans, folded up, the jade green paper on them dark, on the light table. He stared at them, for a long moment, she watched him with careful eyes.

He realized that she had taught Itachi. The tessen were his sister's weapon, one she favored highly, and he remembered, once, when he was much smaller, when his mother and his sister had been close - close enough to train together, using a family weapon.

Sasuke wondered briefly if Mikoto's use of the fans was what had sparked Itachi's interest. It was hard to picture. Lately, he had not even wanted to speak his sister's name, since she had caused their mother so much pain. It felt worlds away now, those times when they were here all together, and happy. Sasuke remembered for a moment thatday when his father had shown them the White Pillar - the day when Itachi and Shisui had taken him training, and they had shown off tricks with kunai.

He was older now, older, and wiser, and the days of his childhood seemed far off. He envied, then, Aiko, from the orphanage, who seemed impervious to the fact that her parents were both dead.

By Itachi's hand.

It was foolish, he reminded himself, to still hold onto fond memories of her. Last time she'd shown up, there had been that terrible fight with Shisui, and he wondered what was left of his sister, now. She had been ghostly, like his mother - his mother who was smiling at him, gently, sticking sushi into her mouth, eyes as bright as ever.

A part of him wondered if Itachi would come back, like that, someday, but he trampled that thought down. If he thought it too much, it might not come true, he decided. Best to leave it un-thought, so nothing could steal it.

But for now, maybe he should stop, and appreciate what he had - his mother was back, in some way. Even as she was now, a distant spectre of her warmer self, was more than Aiko had.

"Did you take a mission?" he asked, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"Not quite yet," she said, examining a crumbly piece of uramaki before swallowing it whole. "I went to the training fields, and practiced my jutsu, today. Missions will be soon, when I'm back in shape."

"That's good," he replied, not sure how to continue the conversation. He looked out the window, avoiding eye contact with her.

"I'll be gone more," she explained, a guilty warmness to her voice. "But you're - you're fine without me, right?" She reached forward, and ruffled his hair. He shook her away, hurt. "It's alright, Sasuke."

"I miss you," he said, stubbornly. "It's just you and me, now. And now you're running off to join the shinobi forces again."

"I'm not abandoning you," she insisted, something closing off in her eyes. She wasn't listening. Not really. He knew that flinty gaze well - it was turned on Itachi often enough. "I need to do this - I need routine, something solid in my life. I only stepped away from the shinobi forces to raise my sons, but you don't need me anymore. You're an adult now. In the eyes of the clan, and," she paused, carefully. "In the eyes of your mother. The decision to help out Osamu-san - that is an adult's decision."

"Shisui suggested it," Sasuke defended, feeling his face heat up.

"But an adult listens to good ideas, too. A shinobi does," she said, something soft coming over her as she looked at him. For a short moment, he felt happy. "I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, Mother."

But perhaps, this was enough. Perhaps, if she was like this - here for him, maybe not in person, but emotionally, maybe that would make it better, like she thought it would. That was more of a mother than he'd had in months.

Maybe he could stop worrying, for once.

* * *

Truth be told, Itachi wanted very little other than to lay in the hot spring forever. Kuro didn't really seem to mind a whole lot.

"I could get used to this whole thing. Doing this all day instead of doing missions," Kuro remarked.

"Somehow I don't doubt that," Itachi replied thoughtfully, feeling the hard wood at the base of the onsen with her feet. The salt in the water made the floating effortless; it was like she was in the clouds. "Do crows have onsen in crow-land?"

"It's not called crow-land, of course. But we do actually have an onsen. The crows live in a magical resort town, where there are always food scraps, and leftovers, every day. It is populated entirely by crows, and the abandoned ledges leave enough places for everyone's nests."

"That's the sacred place for the crows? A resort town?"

Kuro made an indignant little shuffle. "Karuizawa. Our people have lived there for generations. It is like a resort town, except no one cleans up and there are always new messes to scavenge."

Itachi frowned. "Strange to imagine crows using the onsen."

"No," Kuro explained, sighing. "Crows don't soak in the water like this. We always had the onsen, we just never used it like humans do. I don't mind the idea. Perhaps I'll introduce it to them."

"I suppose you're lucky, learning all these things. Other summoners might not indulge their summons so much."

"I think it's the least you can do, after ignoring me for so long."

"I had a lot on my mind." Itachi rested her head on a rock, gently.

"I can tell." Kuro eased in next to her, gently resting a comforting arm around her hip. It felt strange, but the odd connection remained, so Itachi could see it coming, and could feel it from Kuro's side. That reduced the discomfort. "The last time I think I got any real action was helping out your cousin with that weird Danzo fellow. Was quite satisfying, watching him run like that."

"Not quite as satisfying as snapping his neck like a twig," Itachi murmured. "I wanted to destroy everything he was."

"He was trying to steal your cousin's eyes, and your family dojutsu." Kuro twitched. "One time, the magpies tried to steal our family listening secrets, and we burned those bastards. We got them good."

Itachi quirked a small smile. "He left me with no choice. I found it very satisfying to end him."

"I might not have done any differently," Kuro admitted. She turned away, caressing Itachi's hip. "I am here, if you… want to talk about it."

"I don't," Itachi said, firmly.

"Oh." The hand tightened, and Kuro laid back, laying her head on the rocks next to Itachi's. Her horn scraped against Itachi's, and the sensation was odd - it sent goosebumps down her back. The texture of the horns, the nerves scraping against each other felt truly alien.

"Don't do that again," Itachi warned.

"It was weird," Kuro agreed, sniggering softly. "I didn't mean to." Goosebumps The silence lapsed, for a second. "I thought that Danzo was a fool, and I might have ended him in a similar fashion."

Itachi wasn't so sure what to say to that, so she slowly submerged herself into the water, her mouth and nose sinking into the warmth.

Kuro continued, undaunted. "I can only imagine what I would have done in that situation. My family plotting, a man slowly intent on using them for spare parts with the ear of the village elder, my best friend and cousin almost killed…"

Itachi just glared.

"My point is… I'd want revenge, too. And the Uchiha - you had no choice."

That was what she'd always told herself. Did Kuro think that her telling Itachi was going to somehow change things?

"I thought I told you that I didn't want to talk about it," Itachi said slowly, giving Kuro a long, foul look as she surfaced enough to speak.

"And that's great, Itachi. I'm just going to talk about it, though."

Itachi dropped back down, lurking in the water, glaring venomously.

"C'mon, you can't say that you don't want someone to talk about this stuff with. Fugaku? Danzo? Shisui? Zetsu? You've got issues, girl. Us crows love gossip, too. It's very exciting for us."

Itachi shook her head, furiously.

"You've not  _talked_  with anyone, either. Just saying."

More glaring.

"So we're going to have a talk. Whether you like it or - urghk!"

Itachi tackled Kuro into the hot spring, smothering the end of her sentence into bubbles. She went right for the sides - the fleshy, vulnerable bits that she could squeeze with her long nails. Kuro, however, got her feet between them, and kicked Itachi away. Itachi didn't leave it at that, however. A short, bitter scuffle ensued. Neither of them were above using all the dirty tricks in their arsenal: scratching, hair-pulling, or pinching. Compounded, of course, by the fact that they both could see from the other person's perspective. It was a wonder nobody drowned.

If Itachi cared enough about what these people thought of her, she might have been embarrassed, but she didn't, so she wasn't. And that was that - when she'd finally gotten Kuro to tap out, her arm clenched around her neck, she dunked her, once, and then let go.

"You're mean," Kuro muttered, sputtering out milky onsen water.

"I told you, this isn't some friendship sharing time. I just wanted you to step off and leave me be."

"You have to deal with it sometime," Kuro replied, looking smug even as she wiped onsen water out of her eyes. She stretched. "It's clear to me that you're not coping well."

"And it's clear to me that it's not anyone's business but mine," Itachi hissed, venomously.

"But what am I, other than an extension of you?" Kuro asked, cocking her head and shrugging. Her point was reinforced by the shared vision, but that wasn't everything. Behind her, Itachi could see three older women glaring. She ignored them. They couldn't handle her - she didn't care.

She didn't care about any of this. None of these people could understand her, not even Kuro. She didn't come here to remember; she came here to forget.

Kuro leaned forward, and poked Itachi in the chest. "You might think that no one can understand you, but I do. I think what you have been through is not nothing. It is awful, this life. Why else do you think you would seek out relaxation?" she asked, face very close to Itachi's. "Why, indeed?"

Itachi could feel her face going red - her face blushed very visibly, considering how pale she was - and she snarled, "I don't know. Why don't you tell me, if you know everything? You know so much about what I need, after all!"

"It's quite obvious, isn't it? You're shutting everyone out, trying to deal with the pain however you can." Kuro leaned closer, smiling venomously. "Why don't we have a bet, I-ta-chi…"

Itachi lifted her chin, turning away from Kuro.

"Why don't we go out and have some sake?" Kuro went on, undeterred. "This is a resort town, there's always sake in places like this. And if nothing's wrong, then you won't have trouble getting a nice, low buzz and then stopping for the night."

"You're right, I won't," Itachi snapped, before she could consider the offer, "because nothing's wrong. You're on."

Nevermind that she'd never touched the stuff in this life. She couldn't lose to someone who wore her face when she made fun of her.

"Good."

* * *

Itachi rolled over, feeling like death. She was ready for it - the sweet embrace of death. It wasn't nice, to feel like someone had taken the eye out of the center of her forehead and replaced it with molten-hot lava. It was awful.

She was never drinking again. She barely remembered anything past making that bet with Kuro. Stupid. She should never have agreed to any alcohol whatsoever. It was foolish. Impotent. She shouldn't have run her mouth like that, and yet she knew exactly why she did.

She blinked, sleepily. The light was too strong - the blue pre-dawn filtered through the windows, burning into her skull.

"I want to die," she admitted, rolling over. Kuro was there, curled into a ball.

"That was… too much," Kuro agreed. "Though, I totally won that bet."

"I was going to overindulge whether I was traumatized or not," Itachi slurred back. Her head felt tender, like it was burned on every side and being pressed gently on every edge. "It doesn't count." That being said, she didn't really remember enough to remember whether she lost or not.

"Admit it, you're depressed and traumatized," Kuro said, sounding fairly pained herself. "It's alright. We'll get through it."

"You're delusional. The only thing wrong with me is that I'm about to die of a hangover."

Kuro snorted, and twitched in bed. "Make that the both of us. I'll get us some water," she said, and pulled herself up out of the futon.

Itachi, for once, did not feel as if she could get out of bed. Today, it felt like… too much. She wormed further into the covers, and indulged in that hot, sweaty feeling, that only lasted after waking and disappeared with the sun. The feeling of deep sleep, buried by her knees, where the soothing night lay.

She had not moved by the time that Kuro returned, and pushed a cup of water into her hands.

"Drink it."

Itachi groaned.

"I'm going to make you."

Itachi begrudgingly sat up, and gulped gently. Her stomach roiled, and she almost vomited again. Again? Had she vomited before? She didn't know. Something foreign lay on the back of her tongue.

"You're going to need it."

Itachi rolled her eyes, and set the glass down. She was going back to sleep. Warmth called.

* * *

Kane stepped into the new building. It smelt of sawdust, and drywall, and fresh paint. He stepped to the thin desk, and the gruff man behind it.

The man eyed Kane's uniform, the kanji for fire in a shuriken emblazoned on his arm, and sneered, in disdain. It was a new uniform, since it had been decided that the Uchiha crest was no longer appropriate, given that the Police Force was now a whole-village thing.

"Name?" he asked.

"Kasshoku Kane," he replied, promptly.

He checked a ledger, and announced, "Desk 4D, partner is Izumi. Head on in. Captain's already given her a case. She could use the help."

Kane nodded, helpfully, and tracked his way to Desk 4D. He was just setting his things down - a desk lamp, that he preferred, the same model as the one in Katsu-sensei's study; a picture of his old team; a picture of Katsu-sensei's dogs - now his - Strawberry and Chocolate; a picture of his mother, smiling, before the drugs and the illness had taken her and turned her into something she was not; and a potted plant named Mr. Enoki - when a pretty, dark-haired girl slightly younger than him reached across the gap between their desks, and stuck out her hand.

"I'm Uchiha Izumi," she introduced. "I think we're partners."

"Yeah," he agreed, shaking her hand. "Kasshoku Kane."

She eyed his stuff, and smiled, cocking her head. She had a pretty smile.

"So, uh, you're my partner?" he asked.

"Yup. I'm pretty new here too. I only got hired - well, after." She smiled, a bit too wide, and Kane thought he knew what 'after' meant.

"Oh," he said, smiling. "So we can learn together."

"That's the idea," she replied, laying out a new file on his desk. "We have a case, actually. An old woman on the far side of town is complaining about the kids in her flowers again."

"Her flowers?" Kane deflated. "There's not, I dunno, a more pressing case?"

"You wanted to join the prestigious and admirable Uchiha Police force," she remarked, mouth turned down in distaste. "Until the Hokage lets us police the rest of Fire Country, there's not an excess of pressing cases." She folded her arms. "Plus, you're a rookie, and not an Uchiha. You have to realize that you're going to get the crap jobs for a while, until you prove yourself."

"Oh," Kane said, feeling slightly shell-shocked. "Okay, then. Flowers. I can do flowers."

"Good," she said, smiling. "That's a good attitude to have. Do you need a few minutes to get set up?"

"Yeah," he admitted, fiddling with his collar. "If you don't mind."

"Okay. I'll be right here." She settled into her desk, pen scratching on a set of forms on her desk. It was covered with small, cute stuffed animals. A few of them he recognized from TV shows, and the like.

He worked at putting his stuff away, organizing and familiarizing himself with its contents. "I need office supplies. Probably a calendar. Definitely a stapler."

"You might want to get used to doing paperwork. It's all going to have to be requisitioned. The forms are available from the secretary."

Kane grunted, and sighed, and glanced over at Izumi. She wasn't looking at him, instead, she was glaring over at someone else, another dark-haired and dark-eyed man at a different row, across the room. Kane wasn't sure if he wanted to really get in the middle of that, so he left well enough alone.

He said, instead, "I think the secretary hates me."

"I'm not surprised," she agreed. "Why'd you sign up for this, anyway?"

He shrugged. "I'm not the best fighter. Not likely to make jounin, at least. So it was looking like a desk job for a while, but I don't want that, not completely. This seemed like a good compromise."

"Hmm," she said. "That's not true, but I'll figure it out."

"What?" he asked.

"I mean, I'm sure it's true, but it's definitely not the only reason. There's more to it." Izumi nodded to herself. "I'm sure of it. Anyway, you ready?"

"Sure," Kane said, even though he wasn't.

She led him out to the street, and they moved across town, using shunshin over the rooftops, making good time. Izumi didn't seem to have a huge need to speak, so Kane kept quiet as well. She seemed like a good partner, definitely a better one than he was expecting. She at least didn't seem to care that he wasn't an Uchiha.

He'd take what he could get, for now at least.

Soon enough, they were walking up to a door in a nice neighborhood. Izumi knocked, gently, on the door, and they waited calmly, while an old woman's voice emanated from the house.

"Coming!"

The door eventually opened, to reveal a stoop-backed woman, smiling gently at them. "Hello! You must be from the Uchiha Police."

"Yes," Izumi said. "We are. My name is Uchiha Izumi and this is my partner, Kasshoku Kane."

The old woman blinked at Kane. "You're not an Uchiha?"

"No," Kane admitted.

"I don't know if I'm comfortable with someone looking into my case who isn't an Uchiha," she said. Kane tried very hard not to take that personally. He couldn't say that he succeeded. "I didn't even know there was anyone on the Police Force who wasn't one."

"We've recently opened up to shinobi of all clans."

"You're from a clan?" the woman asked Kane.

"Well, no," Kane admitted. "I'm from a civilian family." If his mother even deserved to be called his family. Katsu-sensei was the one who deserved to be called that, if anyone.

The old woman's face fell, her eyebrows furrowing. "Well, you seem quite responsible, Izumi-san. I'm not sure about you, though."

Izumi twitched, and sighed. "Regardless, the Police Force has sent both us. I assure you, we are both capable. Can I ask where the plants in question were vandalized?"

"Oh, around back. I have a garden, and the little brats like to wander through it some days. There's one in particular - I know it's him."

"I understand." Izumi's tone was strong. "Why don't you go around back and check it out, Kane-san. I'd like to get your full account of the incidents, Nakamura-san."

"Yes," the old woman said. "Of course."

Izumi shot him a look, and he nodded. Best to stay out of the way, for a while, so she could get the woman to open up. With a sigh, he headed around the side of her small house.

It wasn't looking quite like this was the cushy position he was hoping for. Still, no one could claim that Kasshoku Kane was a quitter.

* * *

Itachi relaxed back into the folds of the couch. There was a film on, apparently one of a famous series made by one guy - a taijutsu specialist who did all his own stunts. He was considered one of the best.

"This man is surprisingly bad," she pronounced. Today, they were having something like a lazy day. She'd not felt very well, not since that day she'd drank too much. Apparently, her strange biology didn't seem to stop her from getting the flu.

She wiped her nose, again, and glanced over at Kuro. Kuro hadn't managed to get ill, quite yet. They were closely linked enough that she could feel Kuro's lack of illness, and it felt very unfair. The only consolation was that Kuro could almost certainly feel Itachi's illness as if it was her own.

Itachi leaned over, feeling the aches of stiffness, uncomfortable. She had swaddled herself in blankets, and sat back on the couch, intent on doing nothing. Kuro had just laughed at her, and perched next to her. And then, they had turned on the television. Itachi had never watched that much - Fugaku had not allowed them to have one in the house. She had never felt like she'd missed out on much.

"He is a famous movie star," Kuro pointed out.

Itachi flopped forward. "But he's so stiff, and formal. I expect him to be better to watch."

"He's not famous for his ability to talk. He's famous for his ability to fight."

"But he hasn't fought anyone yet," Itachi pointed out. It was true - he was busy watching other people in the tournament. The premise was that the hero was supposed to infiltrate a fighting tournament held by a missing-nin. Of course, this could only be done by him, because he was some sort of famous taijutsu specialist.

"Don't worry," Kuro reassured. "This one's pretty good."

Itachi frowned at her. "Do you often watch movies? I thought you only knew what I knew?"

"No," Kuro pointed out. "I can see your memories, but I do have my own."

"You watch movies?"

"Yes. Karuizawa does have a number of movies playing, almost all the time, if you must know."

"For a mystical land of enlightenment, this place sounds an awful lot like an amusement park."

Kuro laughed, loudly. "And who is to say that they are not the same?"

Itachi snorted. "Crows."

"Debauched and proud."

On the screen, the man finally did something, sneaking out to infiltrate the compound. He met with the only female character of the film, a kunoichi. He dispatched a guard, with only a single punch, and escaped over the wall.

Itachi yawned, tempted to turn over and fall asleep, but she knew that Kuro would complain.

The scene changed - the first day of the tournament came, and the first matchup was some random guy. But the movie treated it like a big deal.

"Who is this guy again?"

"Come on, Itachi. That's the main character."

"Not him. The guy he's fighting."

"Oh, him. He's the guy that killed Liu's sister."

"Wait. He's got a sister?"

"Are you even paying attention?" Kuro asked.

"Be nice to me," Itachi protested. "I'm sick. Am I supposed to know every person in the movie?"

"Yeah, but this is like, basic stuff. He came to the island to fight this guy."

The movie was still playing - the villain's minion was fighting another fighter. This one was supposed to be a Konoha missing-nin, or something. He didn't seem all that remarkable, frankly. Itachi wanted to ask why this guy was important, too, but she knew that Kuro would just complain more.

Instead, she just watched him eke out a narrow victory against the massive, villainous Boro. And then the Kumo-nin went, and won, too, with kick-based taijutsu.

The tournament had ended for the day - and again, it seemed like time for the intrepid hero, Liu, to venture out again. And, apparently, for the villain to offer the third character in the tournament a part in his smuggling deal.

"There are a lot of people to keep track of," Itachi criticized.

"I can't believe you're supposed to be this great ninja and you can't even follow who is who in a movie," Kuro replied.

"I'm sick. Be nice to me."

"And you're sick. If you really were a great ninja, you'd be able to avoid getting sick, you know."

Itachi laughed, but it quickly turned into a cough. "This flu could make even Madara think twice about his bullshit, trust me."

"So what you're saying is that Uchiha Madara wouldn't have gotten sick. He woulda just told the sickness no."

Itachi snorted. There was more sneaking around, and the kumo-nin got a job offer. He denied it, which made Itachi respect him more - she'd already liked his kick-based taijutsu.

But then the bad guy beat him to death with a claw hand, which, well, seemed impractical, if you asked her. But Itachi wasn't a taijutsu expert, so what did she know? Other than a whole lot, since she  _was_  a pretty okay ninja sometimes.

"Don't say a word," Kuro warned.

"What?" Itachi asked. "I don't know what you mean."

"The claw is cool, okay? And remember, coolness counts for a lot."

Itachi's brow furrowed, a little. "I don't know how cool a claw hand is, frankly."

"How are you this much of an old person? How old are you?"

"Thirteen." Sort of.

"Seriously, Itachi," Kuro complained.

Itachi wasn't sure what to say to that, but she did get to watch as Liu got caught by the guards, this time. Itachi very deliberately leaned over and raised an eyebrow at Kuro, meaningfully.

"Don't even say a word."

Pointing out that she didn't need to might ruin the effect, so Itachi kept quiet. Her smug superiority was conveyed either way. This guy was a terrible shinobi. They definitely should have sent an ANBU team instead.

The next morning, the two remaining contestants were ordered to fight each other - Liu and the Konoha ninja. The Konoha ninja refused, and was forced to fight Boro, the massive enemy fighter.

He fought bravely, and narrowly won. Of course, the villain then chose to inevitably betray both of them, which quickly turned into a massive melee, since suddenly there were lots of prisoners, on the island, whom the love interest freed.

Of course, that escalated quickly into a duel, where Liu chased the villain into a house of mirrors. This led to a properly dramatic battle, where the villain used the mirrors to attack from a number of angles, giving him the advantage - until, of course, Liu was smart enough to smash the mirrors.

Then, of course, he killed the villain, and the ANBU invaded the island - finally! And then the movie was over.

"That was an experience," Itachi announced. "Is this really what civilians think of ninja?"

"Not really," Kuro explained, leaning forward. "It's not a serious film. So it's not really intended to be realistic, or to reflect what actually happens. A completely serious movie about the ANBU and what they do wouldn't really be all that entertaining. I mean, how many times do you sit in the rain for eight hours to scope out a target, or something mundane like that?"

"I suppose," Itachi admitted. ANBU did have a lot of waiting around, comparatively. A lot more waiting around than action, but the action was very demanding. It took a toll, for sure.

"Right, so this is sort of… it's not something outright magical or fantastic, but this isn't realistic. People watching are likely to know that. But it's not supposed to be realistic. The setup - the tournament - is there to show off the taijutsu skills, specifically of Liu. He's famous for his skills."

"Oh," Itachi said, sitting back as she thought and drawing her knees to her chest as the credits scrolled by. "So it's - nobody really thinks that this is what it's like?"

"No," Kuro agreed, nodding. "I mean, the movie doesn't say it. Everything it does, and presents, seems on the surface, completely serious. But it sacrifices realism for entertainment."

Itachi nodded, slowly. "I get it, I think. Like  _Icha Icha_."

"Of course you know that and not one of the best ninja films of all time," Kuro said, rolling her eyes. "I can't believe that you know like one thing from popular culture and it's  _that_."

"I was too busy learning to be a shinobi." She folded her arms. "You know, so I'd be alive and stuff."

"Funny, how that - gurhk…" Kuro's next words were cut off by a strangled gurgle. Itachi turned.

An arrow, feathered and black and wicked-looking, was protruding from her neck. Blood spurted, then it trickled, then it poured onto her chest then her clothes then the couch, crimson to burgundy as it sank into the weave. Kuro fell onto the tatami, blood pooling around her; her eyelids twitched like a stuck videotape, reels tangled in the machine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to AlmostElectric for her betawork! Check out her story, Uzumaki, as it's genuinely a work of art.


	12. When in doubt, blame Muskrat

Itachi threw herself from the couch, a strange emotionless terror seizing her muscles as she fled from the windows view. Where had it come from? Kuro was still twitching on the ground; the window pierced, shattered at a single point where the feather had come through. Itachi tried to summon her chakra. It was oddly brittle, like a scroll so old that it flaked away at even the slightest touch.

She stumbled forward, her stance low as she fumbled for a kunai beneath her pillows. She tried to summon the chakra to draw one of her fans, but a flash of light popped and both fans from her right seal popped out, sheared neatly into slices.

Itachi cursed. Her chakra was doing odd things. Had she been infected with some sort of toxin? She should be immune to such things, after Orochimaru's operation. She supposed it was possible he'd poisoned her, too, but she doubted that. It probably would have come into effect long before this, if he had. Months of incubation seemed like a stretch for any poison. Not because it would be impossible for him, but rather - what would be the point? Why wouldn't it have happened sooner, if it was going to happen? Why now, in the only moment of respite she'd had in months? The reality, she knew, was that whoever had attacked Kuro was trying to kill her. How fortunate, she thought bitterly, that she had a twin.

Either way, her mind cycled rapidly through the possibilities of that arrow. Where did it come from? Why? Would there be more? Kuro was bleeding out. She needed to do something. She staggered over to where Kuro had left Kubikiribocho, and tugged at the handle. It barely shifted. She put her weight into it: it lifted an inch.

Of course, that was half the problem. With chakra, such a big sword was easy to lift. Without it, it was much harder. She could pick it up, but it was far too unwieldy to use as a weapon. She crouched, and left it where it was.

The kunai would have to be enough.

She ducked her head, and sheltered herself away from the windows. If they were coming to confirm the kill, they'd need to come here. Best to let them draw into the trap. But first - she set a simple trap, with stop used for the sliding door, a piece of ninja wire, and the sword, rigging it to decapitate whoever walked in the door.

She slipped out, and stepped quietly into another room, across the hall. Itachi hid herself along the wall of that room, watching, listening. After a few minutes, soft footsteps tapped through the hall, a shadow concealing the beam of light beneath the door. Itachi waited with baited breath.

A door slipped open, and a whistling, and then a  _thunk_. A clatter, solid-sounding, and then one unlucky shinobi's scream.

"A trap!" one of them muttered. "Muskrat, you idiot."

"Ahhh, fuck, my arm!" the unlucky Muskrat snapped.

"Who in the hell uses a Sword of the Mist for a trap like  _that_?" someone asked, sour.

A commotion sounded, and Itachi tried to subtly gather sage chakra to herself, through Orochimaru's enzyme. It should have worked, even if she was sick and something was wrong with her chakra.

But clenching that muscle hurt, and Itachi had a sudden bout of nausea. She doubled over, blessedly silent, at the pain in her stomach. It  _hurt,_ and she regretted fiddling with that part at all. A cough rose, and she quickly muffled herself, desperate not to make a noise.

On her hands and knees, the blood seeping from her fingers, Itachi was still utterly silent. It stained the floor, underneath them. The pressure was too much, and she spewed out, more and more blood.

It spilled from her - she couldn't help it, couldn't help but let the gasping, retching noise out, even as the pale flesh slapped onto the soaked floor. It came, and tumbled, more and more, until it was just that - a stained-red lump of pale flesh, twisted and painful.

Itachi could feel that thing, inside of her - it was lacking something, a tautness. For whatever reason, her body had rejected Orochimaru's addition. How strange indeed.

But more importantly, someone next door had noticed her discomfort. She forced herself to stand up, mindful of the blood all down her front. She felt oddly off balance, and even worse than before - a headache was piercing her, like a nail driven into her forehead.

She could hear their quiet footsteps - there wasn't enough time to do much else than take up her kunai, before the door was slipped open, and a mask peeked through.

Itachi  _moved_ \- there was no time. She tossed her first kunai straight at the mask, but they were too fast to dodge it, ducking out of line of sight.

"Shit," she muttered. There went the element of surprise - the best thing that she had going for her, without chakra. She dashed forward, venom in her nails, out of options.

A figure popped through the door, and unleashed a blast of wind. Itachi could do very little to stop him. She went tumbling through the wall behind her, feeling her skin tear and her bones crack.

She landed in a broken heap, in the wreck of bamboo behind the inn. Her legs twitched with pain, and she could feel something digging into her spine. A rock, likely.

This was it. She was going to die to a  _fucking_  Konoha kill team, because she'd gotten sick and it had fucked with her chakra.

Fucking hell. She pushed herself up, her hands smarting with those painful, pavement-skinning wounds. If only she had her chakra - a team of ANBU would be nothing for her, not as she was now. The figures stepped forward, more quickly now, filing out of the ruins of the building. The wind jutsu had done so much damage already.

Itachi could feel something, bubbling beneath her skin, like a liquid seeping into her system. It pulsed, through her veins, like ice. She didn't know what was happening to her. This wasn't just a normal flu, was it? She had not been ill since her transformations. How likely was it that it happened now? That she had gotten sick, and then her body had rejected a foreign implant? How convenient was that?

It wasn't. She was a fool. The ice thickened, and she had the exquisite sensation of something foreign trying to claw its way out of her chest. She tried to push herself up, but that didn't work, either. Her bones felt like they were melting, her muscles like they were soft and useless.

Itachi flopped over, onto her stomach. A burning sensation surged through her, surfacing like a whale breaking through the frigidity of her blood. A burning steam erupted from her back, a monster's head, surfacing. It was like her humanity had suddenly ceased, leaving a strange madness in its wake. Her normal, human form had apparently broken down, like the normal rules of sanity no longer applied to her.

And the madness - the madness, it hungered.

* * *

ANBU Crab did not believe in ghosts, or demons. He couldn't afford to entertain those delusions, not in his line of work. He had a very important mission, in Konoha's ANBU. He was head of a black-ops unit that specialized in retrieval of kekkei genkai. Retrieval, of course, was a euphemism - though, there was that one time where Team Yon rescued a girl with very powerful yin chakra from Kumo-nin.

The majority of his job was tracking down the corpses of Konoha shinobi lost, during combat, and making sure that none of the enemies of Konoha got those secrets out, whether by recovering them or destroying them.

Of course, occasionally, he got jobs like this - someone had defected with a bloodline, and, well, it was better they were dead than selling it to the highest bidder. Uchiha Itachi, by all accounts, seemed to have a working womb, and thus, it would be better for Konoha if she wasn't using that womb to pop out any babies for any foreign powers.

Thus, Team Yon was summoned, and set on the path of a girl who was spotted in Hot Water. Crab thought, privately, that it was a shame that someone so talented was apparently so deranged, but she was a girl, and a girl in the shinobi forces too young. That was a recipe for hysterical psychopathy if he'd ever heard it.

What else could drive a girl to murder half her family, and a village elder before fleeing the village? Crab couldn't help but think that if he had a daughter, he wouldn't allow her to join ANBU, under any circumstances, and that she wasn't going to be a shinobi unless she was a medic-nin, and thus, far away from the front lines.

But she wasn't his kid. He wasn't lucky enough to have a bloodline, so he was chasing other people's kids. This operation had gone well - excessively so, at first, when Gecko got a confirmed kill on what they thought was the target.

An investigation to confirm the kill revealed that this wasn't the case, but they received surprisingly little resistance, so far.

That was, until they hit the target with a wind jutsu, and then, things got weird…

Crab watched, as Uchiha Itachi writhed on the ground, in something that looked like agony. The strange pale flesh twisted, and suddenly, something was bursting out of her back. It was the head of a huge monster.

It roared, and steam churned out of its mouth, and the flesh twisted and contorted around her.

The girl's face contorted in horror, and her eyes widened - all three of them, as her body stisted into a massive, twisted pile of flesh. Clothes ripped, and tore, and the two-headed mass lifted into the air.

The girl no longer looked human - was she a girl at all?

"Captain," Gecko said slowly, "What the fuck is happening?"

The monster roared. The original head had that strange, ringed sharingan, horns rising above it, but the maw had been twisted into a fanged grin. The other head looked reptilian, or oddly amphibian, but he couldn't tell.

"Whatever it is, we have to kill it," Crab declared, not letting any thoughts of demons, ghosts, or retribution torment him. "Formation Red Seven."

The team, like a well-oiled machine, sprung into action. Gecko readied his bow, infused with his trademark lightning chakra, Whale dipped into fire jutsu, and Crab supported him with a wind follow-up.

Muskrat, of course, could do very little. He only had one arm, at the moment.

Of course, these very strong attacks pierced very deep into the monster's flesh, but it didn't seem intimidated by that at all. Instead, it roared, and then pulsed, and sprouted long tendrils, white, thin grasping hands. It had gone from vaguely spherical, if two-headed, to looking like one of those spiky bacteria.

The hands grasped for them, and Crab made the logical choice. "Don't let them touch you. Scatter."

Of course, that was when the tendrils increased their pace, like the tentacles of an octopus. He dropped into a quick shunshin, pausing only to see that the monster no longer really looked like a blob - instead, it was a writing mass of tentacles, reaching further and further.

"Run!" he urged, dodging onto the roof of the hotel, and dashing as quickly as he could, away.

An instinct had him diving to the side, and he caught a glimpse of a white shape, flashing by where he'd been. On the other side of the roof, he saw Gecko make a running leap, over another tendril, twisting in midair to fire an arrow into it, below him, charged with more lightning chakra. Whatever they were, it was clear that touching them was going to be bad.

The arrow smashed down onto the tentacle, pinning it to the roof. Crab watched as it rotted away, instantly.

What was this thing? What kind of strange power had Uchiha Itachi acquired? Or was this some sort of insane sealing attempt, a monster designed to be a trap? Was Uchiha Itachi here at all - were there only monstrous copies of her, roaming the hotel like ghosts?

He ran, watching as a white tendril wrapped around one of the civilians, in the street below, an old man. The man seemed to age twenty years in a heartbeat, until his hair was falling out, and he slumped to the ground, dead.

That tendril, interestingly, retracted, then, but Crab had no time to dwell on that. He was too busy using kawarimi to get out of the way of another one, putting him on the ground.

Muskrat pulled up next to him. "Captain!" he called. "What do we do?"

"Run," he urged his teammate. "The tendrils are not invincible. If one gets close-" he speared one with a kunai, mid stride - "kill it."

Muskrat nodded. He was a good kid - unlucky with that trap, but that was it.

Another tendril grabbed Muskrat's ankle, hoisting him up. Crab moved, slashing at it with one of his long knives. It neatly sliced it in half, and Muskrat fell, ungainly, to the ground.

He hopped up, and then they were running again -

Straight into another tendril. It grabbed him by the neck, and he dropped his knife.

Crab gurgled out, "H-help…!"

Muskrat shot him a look - Crab couldn't see underneath his mask, but he saw the fright in his gaze. The tentacle tightened, and then -

And then he knew no more.

* * *

Itachi could not accurately describe the length of time she'd spent as a strange, tentacle monster. She could also not explain even a little bit  _where the fuck that had come from_.

This was a hell of a flu, was all she was saying. Some shit, seriously.

It hadn't felt like she might have imagined being a bijuu felt like. Instead, it was something cruder and more savage. It felt as if she was a feral animal, backed against the wall, striking out because she felt cornered. Struggling, to survive. A monstrous fear for a monstrous form.

The period of time ended quite mundanely, actually. Part of the weird monster-her simply… reformed, into the normal her. A tendril - which she could feel, but sort of not - had apparently decided that the normal rules of person suddenly applied to her again, and reformed a body, the one that she'd had before, and the rest of her had been vacuumed into it.

It was absolutely bizarre.

Even more bizarre was the fact that she was most certainly not in the nameless town, anymore. The sky had turned a sickly shade of yellow, and the lowlands, and bamboo forests were replaced by rough, jagged mountains, ridges. They had a cross-section of different rocks - the mountains were striped, as if some massive being had brushed a selection of colors across them, heedless of the actual elevation.

And nothing within the range of her sight was living - no ruins, no vegetation, no nothing. It was empty.

Itachi sighed, and allowed herself to relax. There was an advantage, to being here - nothing here was an immediate danger to her, and nothing was in immediate danger  _from_ her, either.

And, there was an odd, comforting strength in her limbs. She felt far better now than she'd had during any part of her and Kuro's impromptu vacation.

She relished the use of her body again, hands eagerly running themselves up and down herself, feeling her head, her chest, her legs. Oddly, she didn't reform naked - as one might expect, having burst out of her clothes during the initial transformation. She was wearing a midnight-black kimono, which had to have at least four layers of fine, silken material. Like what a princess would wear - this would cost an entire fortune. A quick examination of it, and indeed - the obi was tied very tight, and around her back, in dark red.

It was even more strange to realize that this very fine, expensive kimono was just apparently part of the strange transformation. It was oddly smooth, and silky, and she imagined it would be tough, against most mundane weapons.

Even that wasn't a huge problem, because it wasn't made of any material she knew of - most kimonos forced the wearer into an awkward shuffle, completely stopping any kind of running, but this one was loose, revealing her legs, and the material was flexible, not hindering her movement nearly as much as she'd expected.

What kind of power was this supposed to be?

She felt odd, patting herself down, noting that somehow she still had her forehead protector, and her sealing scrolls, full of things. The oddness of the situation struck her, then, that somehow the transformation kept her possessions, but changed her clothing.

She felt the loose, limber feeling settle, and rummaged through her pack. She wasn't in that much of a hurry, right now. More than anything, she wanted a moment, just to settle, to spin things over in her mind.

She hadn't done all that much different, in the last few weeks, except go on vacation...

Unless…

She unsealed her camping equipment - not much more than a bedroll, and blanket. She cast around for wood, for a fire, but she couldn't find much.

She could only remember the hunger, the endless hunger, and satiating that hunger. If she had to guess, it was looking very likely that she'd eaten that entire town, before ending up wherever she was. It wasn't a good look on her - Itachi might not have been the most moral person, or someone who had a clear conscience and always did the right thing, but slaughtering an entire town was a bit much, even for her.

That was like, genuine murderhobo lunatic territory. This wasn't good. This kind of mass murder wasn't easy to come back from, unless you were the leader of a dictatorship, or the relative of a daimyo.

It was entirely possible that eating people was the issue. If she'd gone all monstrous and eaten a bunch of people, and that had led to her regaining her form, it stood to reason that there was a correlation between the eating and the form.

And on vacation, it had been the first time since her encounter with Zetsu that she had gone for a while without eating anyone - she had spent lots of time doing so to missing-nin without even a hint of tentacles, culminating in eating the Akatsuki members right before Obito had gone.

This wasn't good. Her best hypothesis was that eating people was necessary to prevent a reappearance of the monster. She had been really missing it, quite frankly, but she'd not wanted to become dependent on the idea of killing other people, so she'd gone out of her way to avoid eating anyone on vacation. It wasn't easy to find people who genuinely deserved to be eaten, surprisingly. She thought bitterly of Konoha; she would have happily eaten a few people there.

But perhaps being careful had been a mistake. Better to eat missing-nin than civilians. Civilians didn't have much chakra, anyway. They were like those little bite-size sweets - not really very filling. Plus, there was the guilt.

She settled into that, for a while. Maybe it was better, for once, that she didn't have to look that sort of thing in the face.

* * *

Itachi ran from one side of the canyon, to the other. Miles and miles, until even she was tired. The mountains extended, for miles, and miles, until she'd run all day. And still, she didn't even feel winded.

As a shinobi in the ANBU black ops, Itachi had experience running all day. But she wasn't the kind of powerhouse that could do that without breaking a sweat.

And yet, in this strange place, she could. At the end of her run, the canyon around her was the same landscape. Some of the particulars were different, as if some giant had moved piles of dirt around, but otherwise, it could have been the same place.

She stopped, and looked around. She wasn't in the Land of Hot Water anymore, was she? The sky was a plenty big clue. And the fact that there was no life in this place, another. Like it had been scraped clean.

Like whatever ought to have lived here had been purged, from the earth.

She let that thought chill her, as she rested in the fading light of the hazy sun.

* * *

A day later, and she was ready to try leaving this place through other means.

She raised a hand, concentrating chakra into her third eye.

"Yomotsu Hirasaka." The portal unfolded, slowly. Normally, it felt like lifting something heavy - not impossible, but doable.

This felt like lifting many times her body weight, like straining against that threshold of too heavy - like no matter how much she struggled, her body would not cooperate. The gate shuddered, and closed again. Itachi slumped, breathing hard. Sweat poured down her face.

Her eye throbbed, and she could feel the blood trickle down her face. A hand came up, and felt for it.

It came away red. She'd never bled before, not from that eye. She settled down, in the heat of the alien sun, and re-thought her approach.

A portal didn't work, then.

Was she not strong enough to return that way? If that was true, how did she get here? She glanced around. What was it about this place?

She concentrated more chakra to her eye, flooding it with power. It pulsed, and the feeling of ice trickled down her spine.

A sharp lance of pain spiked through it. Yomotsu Hirasaka was a space-time technique, of incredible versatility. It had been the first technique she'd grasped, through this eye. But she hadn't spent enough time experimenting, lately, had she?

She funneled chakra, to her third eye. Mostly, it pulsed like a sharingan - it had that same quality, where it was tight, like a sapling pulled into a trap, without an available target. It had nothing to latch onto. She could feel, too the coalescing planes of space-time, points upon which Yomotsu Hirasaka could be anchored.

There didn't feel like much else there. Maybe if she pushed more chakra into it - more and more, until it felt like it was going to burst.

It was like a switch was flicked, and suddenly, reality was sliding apart. It felt, for a second, like a genjutsu, and then she was back in that nameless town, surrounded by dead bodies. Strange, that the transportation technique felt like she hadn't moved at all.

The sunlight was high, in the morning sky, and she glanced around. The closest body was shriveled, wrinkled, despite the fact that it was the corpse of a young man. He had an expression of agony, and Itachi could feel the pang.

So, it was true, then. The monster had killed them all.

She spent some time poking through the ruins. Most of the buildings were flattened, shattered, roofs torn asunder.

It was as she had suspected. She was truly something that should be feared. The entire town was dead, wiped from the map, because she hadn't kept a careful watch on her chakra. Something to change, in the future.

She flexed her chakra, carefully. It was still secure, even after using it, although her third eye throbbed, painfully. It was safe enough.

She summoned Kuro and sent her off, to find Obito, and settled in to wait.

* * *

Obito popped into existence, among the ruined pieces of building. Itachi sat, watching the crows feast on the corpses - they always started with the eyes. It had been a few hours, long enough for the scavengers to come. And the crows had come. It was almost like she'd called them, as they flocked to her, in droves. There was something that attracted them, today. It was oddly coincidental, somehow.

Maybe she'd gotten in touch with her inner crow, or something.

Kuro fluttered, and flapped to her side, a crow once again but with the same mischievous sheen in her eyes. "My bad, Itachi. Didn't see that coming."

Itachi shrugged. "It's fine. As you can see, I'm very alright." She picked up the Kubikiribocho, and tossed it forward, a little bit. She felt a surge of resentment, that her fans hadn't survived, and it had.

Kuro flapped out of the way of the blade. "Watch it!"

Itachi shrugged again. "Turns out vacation didn't go so well," she explained to Obito. "Ended with the whole town dead." She smiled bitterly. "A new record, no?"

Obito spread his arms. "Can I help?"

She snorted. "As you can see, everything is taken care of. Fucking Konoha hunter-nin team."

He glanced around. "I see an awful lot of civilians." His mouth twisted, in distaste. "I don't suppose you can bring them back?"

Itachi shrugged. "Not really." She knew he wasn't going to like it, but it wasn't like she had a ton of choice in the matter. Trying to bring back anyone in this state was a one-way trip to tentacle town.

And tentacle town was not a fun place to be, for everyone who wasn't her. She couldn't even really say she enjoyed it, for all that the sensations were more pleasant than not, when things got going.

Obito folded his arms. "No? No remorse for the dozen innocent people I can see from here?"

"No," Itachi said, finally. "If that's going to be a dealbreaker for you, now's the time to speak up. One of the things I've learned since we've been apart is that this new body of mine comes with certain… limitations. Ones that mean that I have to be careful about my chakra use.

"I didn't mean to kill these people, mind you. But make no mistake, it was my error that led to their deaths. I drained them all, and resurrecting them takes chakra, in a way that using jutsu doesn't. It's not the easy fix we thought it was."

"I…" Obito rubbed his face. "I'm not sure what to say, Itachi. I think I know you well enough to trust your word on this sort of thing, but I can't say I'm comfortable with the idea. I'd be, as you'd imagine, a hell of a lot more comfortable if you could bring these people back."

Itachi nodded, slowly. "If I could, I would. I can't say I feel that much remorse about them, but we've talked about that before."

Obito sighed. "Then I suppose that's it, isn't it? I trust you, Itachi. You aren't the kind of person who'd slaughter an entire town for no reason, but I still can't help but wonder if you should care about this more. You've probably made a few orphans today."

"I know that, alright? But I'm glad you trust me that much, at least," Itachi said, wryly. Her chest twisted. It was easier to understand when Obito put it like that. A few Sasukes of different shapes and sizes would mourn for their parents in the next few days. Something stirred in her, and she shook it away. "But I think - I think this happened because I wasn't eating anyone, on vacation. So my chakra acted up… and then, well, stuff happened. It got weird, for a bit, and I ate everyone in what seems like a half-mile radius. So I think whether I'm ready for it or not, it's time to go back to work. I can't let this happen again."

Obito rolled his neck, and nodded, looking uncertain but resigned to it. "Sure."

"So what's the plan, bossman?"

"The plan is, quite frankly, not really a plan."

"Itachi," Kuro said, slowly, surveying the carrion crows pecking at the bodies. "What happened?"

"It turns out I should be regularly eating people - draining their chakra. If I don't, mine gets… unstable." Itachi smiled, painfully. "And things get messy, which doesn't end so well for anyone even remotely near me. You should probably be glad you died first." She met Obito's eyes, through his mask. "If it happens again, and I tell you to run, run. Through Kamui."

"I don't want this to happen again," Obito said. "I'm very willing to help you with that, if need be."

"I don't want it either, Obito," Itachi replied, terse. "I have every intention of stopping it from happening again."

"Good. We're in agreement, then." He sighed. "I'd prefer if you didn't have to kill anyone."

Itachi sighed. "It would help if there was a guide for this sort of thing."

"A guide?" Obito asked, cocking his head. "What do you mean?"

"Well, like…" she paused, considering it. "In Konoha, I wasn't supposed to kill civilians, or those who had broken no laws, until I was ordered to do so. And I wasn't allowed to torture the shinobi I killed, on missions, but when I did so working for T&I, it was acceptable. That made sense - I wasn't supposed to kill, or hurt, until I was told to. That's obvious. But now, I don't know what you want - what I should be doing and what I shouldn't be."

Obito made an inarticulate noise of frustration. "What  _I_ want? What do you mean?"

"Where is the line between what I should do and what I shouldn't?" Itachi asked, feeling stupid. She didn't like asking things like this in the first place, but this entire thing sometimes felt like a big joke she'd never been let in on. "I thought the missing-nin we've been killing were people we could kill. Acceptable targets. But then you say that."

"Acceptable targets?" Obito asked, like she was speaking another language.

"Yes," she explained, patiently. "What's wrong with killing missing-nin? It seems a necessary thing, a function of the way of life that a shinobi living outside the village must embrace."

"Why do you have to kill anyone? Why can't missing-nin go out into the country, and become farmers or fishermen or something?"

Itachi wrinkled her brow. "Farmers? Why would they do that?"

"So they don't have to kill people!"

She considered it for half a second. "Can you see me fishing for a living? Looking like this? I mean, hell, I stayed in a hot springs for three weeks and some hunter-nin showed up. My fishing career would last probably that long before there was someone trying to murder me."

"Ugh!" he groaned. "Fine, that might not work - but my point is - missing-nin are people too. They all have lives, families, all sorts of things. You're taking something, when killing them. All lives have purpose."

"You're naive, for a criminal mastermind," Itachi retorted. "I'm outside of the protection of a village. So are you. We only have ourselves to rely on. In this world, it's kill or be killed."

"I can't accept that," Obito vowed.

"Well," she smirked, conciliatory. "I agreed to help you change it, didn't I?"

"Why?" he asked. "You could go your own way, live your life the way you want to."

"You helped me, when you didn't have to," she replied, evenly. A splash of pink was entering the sky, above them, as the sun started to set. The village they were in was ruined, but there was a sort of beauty to it.

"And that's it?"

She frowned, struggling with herself, a little. It was hard to put into words.

"I suppose I do agree," she said, finally. "I'm not stupid. I know I'm…" She paused, unsure. "I know I'm… lacking, certain things." She pointed to her chest, to illustrate. "Here. Things that other people have. And while I was well-suited for a life of killing, maybe most people aren't."

"There's nothing wrong with your breasts," Kuro cut in.

Obito let out a startled laugh.

"You're a bird," Itachi replied. "What do you know about human standards of beauty?"

"Only what I've seen from spending time as your clone," Kuro retorted. "So it's more likely to say that you like your own chest."

"That doesn't make any sense," Obito pointed out, reasonably. "Plus, let's face it, you've not got a lot going on up there."

"I'm still thirteen," she pointed out.

"You're an Uchiha. If you're hoping for some magic to happen there, you'll be waiting a long time."

"Obito, this is getting weird. Both the extent of your commentary and the subject."

He aggressively rolled his mismatched eyes. "And here I thought you were inured to this sort of thing. Little Itachi uncomfortable?"

She folded her arms. "Yes. Please stop talking about it."

He held up his hands. "No need to get upset about it."

"I'm not," she protested. "I just don't like the way you were talking about me."

"Fine," he grunted. He sounded slightly annoyed, but he let the topic drop.

Itachi allowed that to happen.

"So what's our plan?" she asked. "I suppose I should join your boy band, no?"

"Right," he muttered, half to himself. "Another topic. Yes. You're looking very princess-like today, Itachi. I wonder if I should call you Itachi-hime, from now on."

"What?" she asked. She glanced down, and considered this ridiculous garment. "Right. Yeah. Weirdest thing? I turned into a giant tentacle monster, right? And then once I killed all the people around, I turned back into a person. And weirdly enough, I was wearing this."

"Well, it looks nice," Obito said. "Doesn't explain the eyebrows, though."

"What eyebrows?"

"You have those eyebrows, you know, the fancy ones?"

Kuro fluttered up to perch on her shoulder, and she felt a tug on her chakra. Kuro wanted to initiate the clone technique. Itachi had to concentrate to activate the technique - her chakra was still uneven, jagged and rough. It had to be handled, gently, like picking up broken glass.

"Not too much," she warned. "If you make me unstable, things will get messy."

The crowl transformed into a copy of her - identical, even down to the elaborate kimono, except for the eyebrows, which were now small dots, above where her eyebrows normally sat. Itachi considered that - well, it looked like that was another fun new thing that was a part of her now.

A fury rose in her, unexpectedly. She was so sick of it; every time she turned around, she had some new aberration growing on her body. Something new would be changed without her consent. It was exhausting, to have new things happen to her every time. She had worked hard for this body.

She barely looked like herself, anymore. She barely looked human. Of course it was miles better than the tentacles, but at this point, she couldn't even be sure that Sasuke would even recognize her.

She rubbed her forehead, feeling the hairs of her eyebrows in the wrong spots. "I'm so sick of this."

"The eyebrows?" Obito asked.

"The everything!" Itachi hissed. "I don't look normal, anymore. And things keep changing!"

"Oh," he finally said. "I guess that makes sense. Hopefully it'll stop soon?"

" _Hopefully_ ," she said, dryly, trying to inject all of the sarcasm she could. "That's very fucking reassuring, Obito."

"I can't fix it." He shrugged. "It sucks, okay? You don't need to take it out on me."

"If you don't mind," Kuro interjected. "It seems like tempers are running high, no? So let's put things on hold. Come with me to Karuizawa, Itachi. Maybe mastering some of our Sage Arts will help you keep control of your chakra, better."

"I already have two sage modes," Itachi remarked.

"You already have two  _artificial_  sage modes," Kuro corrected. "And you only have one, now."

"Only one?"

"That was what all that coughing up of blood and organs was, yeah."

Itachi made a face.

"You coughed up an organ?" Obito asked.

"It was a rejection reaction, I think," Itachi said. "My new biology didn't like whatever Orochimaru put inside me."

"And Tenjin?"

She shrugged.

Kuro was frowning. "It shouldn't be outright rejected, not like the other thing, but I can't imagine the Sage chakra interacts well with your own chakra. Have you tried it?"

"A little, but mostly during that fight in Kumo."

Kuro paused for a second, before continuing. "I see. Further experimentation is important, then. A training trip?"

Itachi shrugged. "I can do that. If Obito is okay with it?"

Obito shrugged, too. "If it means less destroyed villages, you do what you gotta do. I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Sure."

"Good luck." And he vanished into kamui.

"So how do we do this?" Itachi asked, turning to her clone, who looked overwhelmingly smug.

"You'll see. And you'll like Karuizawa, trust me. We can watch movies together! There are Liu films everyday in the cinema, but you have to eat the popcorn off the floor. It's gonna be so much fun!"

Itachi sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obito is Obito, Kuro is Kuro, and Itachi is a nightmarish, tentacled abomination that only thinks its a teenage girl.


	13. Deluge

The rain patterned down on the roof, the water dripping down ceramic, and stone. The room was chilly, and even the thick rug, bracketed by low couches somehow looked forbidding.

In the middle of the table, a board was laid out. A number of black and white pebbles were arrayed on a grid, in a cloudlike pattern. It was a beautiful game set, made even more impressive by the fact that it was entirely made of paper.

"We need to talk," he said, to the empty room. Obito had steeled himself for this conversation, because it was necessary. He affected the low, hungry voice of Madara, even though that was no longer necessary to the plan. It would be more complicated to explain the truth, at this point, to his allies.

A rustling echoed through the room, and the paper coalesced, like an explosion in reverse.

Another pair of steps sounded, clapping onto the rough stone. Obito turned around, regarding them through his mask. Both eyes - he focused on the predictive serenity of Omoikane. The orange-haired path was like a wound, in the web, and the woman was all bright, shining light.

They stood, tall and attentive, in the dim light of the stone chamber. All perfect, clean angles and coiffed hair. He had to admit, the leaders of Akatsuki had a certain kind of style, even if both of them looked dead.

"If you please," he said. They walked, as a unit, to the couches - he had an armchair he liked to frequent, and both Konan and Pein sat on the low couches, facing each other across the board. He cocked his head. "There have been recent developments that have affected my plans."

The Pein cocked an eyebrow. The woman was impassive, like she'd been carved from ice.

"Our plans together?" Pein asked, as he raised a finger, and prodded one of the points on the grid. A small folded square of paper unfurled, and a black piece sat, where it had been. Three white pieces, near it, folded themselves inside out, turning black.

"Zetsu has proved himself a traitor," he explained, instead. He allowed something dark and furious to enter his voice, then. "He's been… punished, for it. But certain revelations have come to light that assembling the bijuu into one single container is…" He paused, lingering. "Inadvisable."

Pein's level, ringed gaze might have seemed intimidating, but Obito hung out with Itachi, who had a whole new level of freaky dojutsu going on.

"In this light, I no longer believe that we should devote our time to gathering the bijuu."

"Explain." The command was terse, and Obito felt, for a moment, that he should remind them both who exactly was in charge here. Konan waved a hand, and a white piece sprung up.

No black pieces flipped to white, but Obito did know enough to know that didn't necessarily mean she was losing. That was about the extent of his knowledge, though.

"Zetsu had intended to use the bijuu to resurrect a dead monster," he said instead. Which was not strictly true, but true enough. "You knew it as the Gedo Mazo."

"The Rinnegan can control the Gedo Mazo," Pein returned, stare as dead as always. "I had noticed that it disappeared."

"Ah, but that is not as true as any of us would have liked," he explained. "As weapons go, an uncontrollable monster that seeks to devour all chakra is a poor one."

"I am not pleased, to hear of this change." Pein's voice was quiet, sharp. And there was a silence, between them, as both he and Konan made moves, in their game, and the rain patterened down on the building around them. 

"And I was not pleased that Zetsu turned traitor," Obito returned. "But neither of you are fools. If his plan succeeded, not even all of us together would be able to stop the monster it unleashed from killing everyone."

He meant that quite literally. He was pretty sure that Itachi could kill them all, if she set her mind to it. And he had to assume that Zetsu would have made something far worse than her, if he'd had his way. Whatever his mother was, she was not a thing they wanted to unleash on the world.

"The bijuu are ancient weapons of war. Even without combining them, the plan can work." Pein made another play. No tiles switched, again.

"Not nearly as well," he returned. "Turning ninja to our side is hard, and creating entirely new jinchuuriki even harder."

And frankly, gathering bijuu at all was not something he wanted to do. For a number of reasons. The quickest path to power might be to feed all the current jinchuuriki and their bijuu to Itachi, but he wasn't going to do that. He liked her, but she wasn't exactly the most stable person already, and he thought that giving her more power would definitely not curb her craving for it.

He could not be sure that he wouldn't be creating the exact monster that Zetsu had wanted to resurrect, after all. And, there was something to the fact that he wanted a plan that wouldn't mean he had to kill any innocent children. He couldn't accept that, anymore.

"What is your plan, then, Madara-sama?" Pein asked. His expression hadn't twitched, but Obito knew that there was a quiet fury behind those ringed eyes.

"Well," he allowed himself to smile, behind the mask. "I have recently made the acquaintance of a delightful young Uchiha who possess a genjutsu that can only be broken by a Rinnegan. And since our enemies don't have that particular dojutsu…" He trailed off. "Well, with that kind of advantage, who needs bijuu, anyway?"

"I see. Who is this person?"

"Uchiha Itachi. She defected from the Leaf months ago. You might have heard of the incident. I hear they're calling it a massacre. I've been - well, let's call it 'sponsoring' her."

Pein looked over at his second.

"We had considered her, yes," she spoke, as she placed her own tile. "A good fit, if a bit… young." She turned burning amber eyes to Obito. "But Nagato and I were both older when we started this organization. Were you planning to associate her with Akatsuki?"

He cocked his head, considering it. "An interesting idea, Konan-san. Presenting her as a rogue element would have some advantages. But I was thinking something a little less subtle." He grinned, underneath the mask. "The carrot and the stick. We create an association of hidden villages - I currently have a controlling stake in Kirigakure. We add Amegakure, and Orochimaru's new village. I believe he intends to call it Otogakure. A… collaborative effort, one might say, between all major and minor ninja villages, under the control of the Akatsuki.

"And if any village doesn't agree, we put them under said genjutsu," he explained. "And of course, we'd need a way to foster their cooperation, wouldn't we? Some genin, or their jinchuuriki, in a neutral place, led by the Akatsuki."

"I have no interest in babysitting," Pein said, coldly. Another play. More tiles switched.

"Children are the future," Obito explained, patiently. "The villages are nothing without them. They would be forced, to cooperate. In the name of peace, we would make the Great Villages hand their most potent tools to us. And if any disagreed, the weight of the rest of the world would fall onto them."

"Put them under a genjutsu?" Konan asked. "The Kage would be hard to get to."

"No," Obito corrected. "The entire village."

For a moment, there was silence, and he was pleased by the minute widening in the woman's eyes - the path, of course, did not have body language, and thus, it had no reaction.

"Yes. You see, now. We'd have to do them all at once, of course, and likely keep careful watch. But yes, with Pein and Itachi working together, it would be possible."

"And the organization Akatsuki? Of the nin we have gathered, so far?"

"Unless you have dramatically altered the roster of Akatsuki since we last spoke, they are all useful. A spymaster, a scientist with aspirations of leading his own village, a bounty hunter, and Hoshigaki-san." He briefly considered Kisame, and his usefulness, and added, "He's muscle, but that'll be useful too."

Konan twitched. A tiled formed, white, and five blacks switched over, half that had just switched from white.

Pein, however, was the one that asked, "And Biwa-san? Tama-san?"

Obito paused, frowning. "Ah?" He stopped. Right. "They're very dead."

Konan twitched again. Obito thought to himself that it was possible there was a vein twitching, in her eye.

"Right. Where…" He drew the rings out of his pocket, and dropped them on the table. "They weren't very good. Itachi-chan killed them both by herself. Without genjutsu. And as you may surmise, genjutsu is what she's best at."

"I see," Konan said. The utter placidity in her expression might have made lesser men cower.

"And I believe that there were some wires crossed, anyway. They were in the process of attempting to kidnap the Hachibi jinchuuriki."

"I would have liked to know exactly, what they were thinking," Pein murmured. He placed his piece. Obito glanced over the board. He had no idea who was winning. He was terrible at that sort of thing. He was also smarter than to let himself be drawn into a game with either of them.

He'd be obliterated.

That might not be the worst idea, but he'd already done enough damage to the mystique of Madara for one day. Best not to admit where he was wrong.

"Apparently, they were not," he agreed, instead. "For the time being, very little about our plans will change."

"As you say," Pein murmured.

"I will extend our invitation to Itachi-san," Konan offered. She placed her own, white tile.

Obito glanced over the board again, and fled through kamui, before anyone had any ideas about asking him to play.

* * *

When the world finally stopped spinning, Itachi found herself in an idyllic street - full of rows and rows of wooden cottages, large, and spacious, and obviously luxurious. It was earlier evening here, but the sun had gone down behind the high mountains. Lights burned from the street corners, clashing with the red sky, and delicious smells wafted from the end of the street, where the food stalls were clustered. Knowing it was abandoned, Itachi would have expected the town to be in disrepair, but it seemed like the lack of people was the only indicator it wasn't a completely normal town.

That is, the only indicator that wasn't the flock of crows. They lined rooftops, and power lines, and the tops of lanterns. Murders of them, staring - some of them were young - small, grumpy-looking, with old man faces, others were old and speckled with grey feathers, and still others were barely chicks.

Kuro squeezed, from her shoulder.

"It's kind of funny," she admitted, softly. "We don't often get summoners here. And you have to admit, you're pretty interesting-looking." Itachi winced, a little. "It's not a bad thing."

"You're not stuck looking like this," Itachi replied, dryly.

Kuro laughed, a warbling, low, croaking sound. "Oh, how little you know, summoner. One of the most interesting things about Karuizawa? The crow clone technique is two-way, here."

She flitted off Itachi's shoulder, and transformed into a clone of her. The clone gave a cheeky wave, and then the crows around them took off in droves, landing in the street, and transforming, too.

The street, too, was full of Itachis, all wearing that same fancy kimono, and gleeful expressions. They were clicking at each other, obviously delighted, and some of them were embracing.

Itachi was in shock.

"What is this?"

"When a new summoner comes, there is always a celebration. We love having a new form to wear. And yours is so interesting! You're beautiful, Itachi. And one of the things you will learn here is just how much so." Kuro spread her arms, black nails glinting in the lantern light.

Itachi could only gape in shock.

"Come! I will introduce you!"

* * *

The path through the village was bizarre - to see so many copies of her, all laughing and chattering and looking at her like she was special, and not something to be scared of. It almost reminded her of being back in Konoha, back before she'd become a missing-nin or strangely demon-looking.

It was, too, like a festival, complete with carnival games and carnival food, and they stopped, briefly, for mochi. It wasn't like they ordered - they raided an abandoned food stall, and the food was just waiting for them.

After they'd snacked, Kuro led them into a larger, ornate-looking cottage. She only stopped briefly, before stepping through. Itachi followed, letting the warmth inside wash over her.

A massive crow sat, inside, on a nest. It was easily the size of a bear, streaked with silver and white feathers, eyes filmy.

It blinked.

"Grandfather," Kuro said, smiling. "This is my summoner, Uchiha Itachi."

The old crow make a clicking noise, with his beak. "Kuro-chan," he croaked. "So you found your wayward summoner." He had a slow, deliberate way of speaking, like the reedy, leathery texture of old scrolls.

"Of course! And she was ever so welcoming."

"Good, very good. Come here, Itachi-san, let me have a look at you." Itachi did so, feeling slightly foolish. "I am Shirou, of the crows."

For a long moment, Itachi had the inappropriate thought that maybe the old crow was just having her on - that it was blind.

"That aura, you have… I have not felt it for many years," the old crow finally said. "Kuro-chan, you do not know the face you wear." He chuckled, a dry, croaking noise. "I have seen something like you before, Itachi-chan."

"What?" Itachi asked. Belatedly, she added, "Shirou-sama."

"It is strange, to see it, on a summoner, no less! Kuro, you take after your old man in more ways than one."

Kuro was looking between them, mouth wide open. "Grandfather? What do you mean?"

Itachi had a strange pit in her stomach. "So you know about this curse? The strange, unending hunger for chakra?"

"I do," the old crow said, slowly. "I know this, yes. But first, you must tell me about how you came to have this strange chakra."

"I don't really understand it," Itachi admitted, first. "But most of it was caused by a creature called Zetsu. A malicious spirit of chakra, that betrayed me and one of my allies, and trapped me in a cave."

"Zetsu…" Shirou muttered, slowly. "I do not know this person."

Itachi sighed, feeling the disappointment. "Zetsu wanted to resurrect the creature he called his mother. He did something - I think he used her genetic material, switching it out during an operation. Then he possessed me and made me consume the chakra of a number of shinobi, including a jinchuuriki."

"A jinchuuriki…" he muttered. "This alone might not have been enough."

"I don't know what he wanted," she admitted. "But then I trapped him, and absorbed his chakra."

"Ah…" Shirou said, slowly. "The thing on your forehead, the eye…" He paused. "Tell me the story, from start to finish."

And Itachi did.

"I see." For another long pause, he didn't elaborate. Itachi looked at Kuro, but she looked just as lost.

Itachi fidgeted. She wished for something to occupy her hands, but she couldn't exactly whip out a weapon. So she settled for folding them, in front of her. The old crow had closed his eyes, brow furrowed in what looked like thought.

"I will tell you a story," Shirou finally said. "Please, sit."

They did, and only when Itachi settled onto the warm tatami did it begin.

"A story that is old, nearly as old as me. A thousand years ago, the world was very different. There was no shinobi, no samurai, no summons, and no chakra. The world was full of what you would call civilians, and, in the center of it all was the World Tree."

"World Tree?"

"Don't interrupt," the old crow scolded Kuro. "It's rude. But yes, the World Tree, the Shinju. It was a massive creation of our world. There was no jutsu, no great ninja villages, nothing like that. Instead, you could say that our potential was in that tree. It was fed, by the constant war." It turned milky eyes to Itachi. "Yes, even then, humanity did nothing more than war against each other, though they were not quite as skilled at it as now.

"It stayed that way, for a long time - the tree, fed by the blood of thousands of wars, grew tall. Until, of course, it produced a fruit, as trees are wont to do." The old crow, Shirou, turned its gaze away from both of them. "But to go near the tree was death, it was said. That was, of course, until the woman came. She was, even then, an outsider, a princess from foreign lands, or perhaps something… else. I do not know where she came from, but they saw her as a savior. A woman, of pale white skin and hair, wearing robes of purest white."

The old crow sighed, and flexed its wings. "I was only a young crow, then, and there was no summon clan, gifted with chakra. Instead, we were simply animals - clever, yes, but not as we are."

"She was looking, for the Shinju, the Tree of God. And since humans could not approach, she needed animals to help her through. And so, it was the animals that helped her find it - the resolute toad, the kind slug, the clever snake, as the saying goes. The intelligent crow, of course, is not part of any legends. But I was there, and I had my own little morsel of the fruit that the princess left behind."

"Ah, but you are youngsters, and so very clever, so you might be guessing that these animals started the first summoning contracts, that they grew large and long-lived, and that the children of their children are now the noble clans, residing in their sacred places." He shook himself, slowly. "This was once the retreat of kings, and emperors, now it is ours.

"But I digress. The woman - Kaguya, she was called. She consumed the fruit, and through it, she realized ultimate power. She was worshipped as a goddess, ruling over the land, beautiful, powerful, and eternally young." The crow let out a dry, rasping chuckle, settling in the bed, again. "She had two children. Twin boys. And sometime afterward, she became less than what she had been."

He paused, for a long time. "Legend has it that she became jealous of her own children, as they were born with her gift - what we call chakra. But I had always wondered - if so, why did she share the fruit, with the toad and the slug and the snake, and the other animals?" He chuckled.

"Forgive the ramblings of an old crow, grandchildren. For whatever reason, she grew jealous of her sons, and resentful of anyone else with the power of chakra. She warred against them, taking a monstrous form, and in time, they took everything she was, and sealed her away. Her body rose into the sky, and became the moon. The tailed beasts that roam the earth, are made from her essence. Her chakra is the lifeblood of all shinobi - we are all children of Kaguya." The old crow's mouth opened, in something like a smile.

"You see, the eldest son of hers - we call him the Sage of Six Paths, now. The bloodlines of his sons, and his sons' sons, those are the children that fight and die against each other in this shinobi world."

Itachi was frowning, though. The story was confusing, but she wasn't going to say that.

Kuro, however, had no such compunctions. "Grandfather! You can't stop there!"

"Don't sass me, little Kuro," the old crow snapped. "I am a thousand years old, you know."

"Yes, but poor Itachi is sitting here, all worried. This is real stuff for her. So you think that this Zetsu was referring to Kaguya?"

The old crow flexed his wings again. "Who can know? But when Kaguya ate the chakra fruit, it was said that she grew a red eye on her forehead, and two horns, like the ears of a rabbit. Indeed, they called her Usagi no Megami - Rabbit Goddess."

Kuro frowned, glancing over at Itachi. "They don't really look like rabbit ears."

The old crow made a coughing noise. "Oh to be young! It is a legend, silly crow. What is truth compared to legend?"

"Yes, is what you're saying."

Shirou cackled. "That chakra. I can still feel it in my bones, like it was yesterday. I believe that yes, the mother your Zetsu spoke of was Kaguya. If that is the case, it is possible that you have inherited her curse - her hunger for chakra."

"What do I do?"

"Do?" The old crow laughed. "Nothing! You can't do anything. If that is truly what drove the Rabbit Goddess mad, then maybe we just hope that you're made of sterner stuff!"

"Don't worry," Kuro muttered. "I had planned to get my mother to teach you Sage Arts, to see if that can help your chakra problem. Grandfather isn't going to be that helpful. I didn't expect him to be."

"Thanks." Something was bothering her, however. "But…" Itachi paused. "Zetsu's plan. He wanted to combine all the bijuu, didn't he? He needed all of them, to bring her back, right? Why did he jump the gun? Let Akatsuki do its work? Why not wait?"

"Well," Kuro mused, finger on her chin. "Obito was lost to him, wasn't he? And without Obito, there was no way Madara would be resurrected, right? So he had to start at the beginning."

"But if he's waited a thousand years, what's a few more?" Itachi asked.

Kuro opened her hands, shrugging. "Ahh, but Zetsu was shocked, when you trapped him. I think it was because he wasn't expecting you could defeat him. And, if not, he doesn't lose anything, does he? His current plan is a wash. Why not roll the dice, on you? It sounds like he was hoping he could trick you into consuming the rest of the bijuu. Then it's just a quick jaunt to the moon, isn't it? The only flaw in his plan was that he thought you wouldn't be able to touch him."

Itachi couldn't help the smile from curving her lips. "The only flaw, eh, Kuro?"

"It is a big flaw, you have to admit. Ended with him dead, or something."

"Children, while I admire your exuberance…" Shirou let out a huge yawn. "Let an old man have his rest, no?"

"Of course, Shirou-sama," Itachi said, quickly, standing.

The old crow cackled.

"See you, Grandfather!" Kuro said, springing up and dragging Itachi out of the cottage. Itachi followed, slightly amused.

Part of her was still mulling things over, a little. That was more than she'd expected to learn. And it had been genuinely helpful, even if the old crow had taken a perverse pleasure in leaving her with more questions than answers.

The nameless woman was Kaguya, then. A being with godlike power, and the source of the bijuu, and chakra itself. She snorted. No wonder she kept having thoughts about how all chakra was really hers. In a funny way, she was the true inheritor of such things.

No, she realized. It wasn't productive, to think like that. That was probably the same kind of thinking that led to Kaguya getting sealed in the moon. She just needed to solve her unstable chakra. The world had chakra since long before her birth, and she had no right to claim it.

"If Grandfather isn't just messing with us," Kuro was saying, "your problem is that your transformation is stuck only half-complete."

"How much more?" Itachi asked. "He did say that she had white hair, I guess."

"Dunno. But right now, you only have one bijuu, inside you. Maybe you need the rest."

"Would that just mean Kaguya would possess me, though?"

Kuro shrugged, stepping back onto the main street. "Maybe. Maybe not. We can't know for sure."

"So maybe it's better to avoid collecting bijuu," Itachi said.

"Or maybe it will solve all your problems," her companion returned. "So let's try the sage thing."

"I have no objections."

* * *

Itachi was put up in one of the luxury hotels, like staying in an expensive resort. A part of her wondered whether there was some comment on virtue, in that - whether the crows had some sort of strange, inverted understanding of what was virtuous. When Itachi thought of a sacred place, she imagined that with that holiness came asceticism.

But in Karuizawa, this was the equivalent of a pallet of straw and a leaky roof. The crows seemed to take a strange view of holiness - to them, it was the excess, the pleasurable, that was holy.

Dinner was takoyaki and dango, taken from discarded plates, but still as delicious as she'd had it. It was a little like vacation, except that she was incredibly conscious of the time passing. No wonder Kuro hadn't seemed all that impressed at eating sweets and lazing around all day, if this was where they came from. It was almost a little surprising that her summon wasn't a fat crow.

Not that she'd ever say that. Kuro seemed the type to be touchy about such things.

She tucked herself into the western-style bed, divested of her clothes, for now. There was something strangely comforting to the many-layer kimono she had come back in. Kuro had to help her in and out of it, of course, but that was easy enough.

And if she was being honest with herself, she needed to ditch the hoodies. Itachi wasn't a person who was always the best at telling what her own feelings were. And she hadn't really realized how much of the comfort of those outfits were lost before she had something else she liked to wear.

She'd been tortured wearing one, had to watch Zetsu eat her legs in those socks, and now, she realized that it had been awful to wear them. It was just her brain, sometimes - it didn't work right, or something, and she was past the point of being uncomfortable with something before she felt it was necessary to change it. When outside forces made that change, it was only then how obvious it was that she'd been uncomfortable.

Kuro cackled, audibly, and slipped into the bed next to her.

"You're coming?" Itachi asked, a little bit confused.

"Yes," Kuro declared, brightly. "Until you're no longer sad, you get me as a cuddle-buddy."

"I don't  _like_ being touched," Itachi pointed out. "Being trapped in a cave and de-limbed sort of turned me off to that."

"Yeah, but you gotta admit it - you certainly weren't objecting when we were on vacation." The sheets rustled, and Kuro sidled closer, hot breath on her ear. "Admit it. You like me here."

"I sleep better," Itachi said, dryly. "That's it."

"Oh, my sweet summoner," Kuro crooned, "you forget that I'm inside your head. You can't hide anything from me."

Itachi did not say anything.

Kuro wrapped a gentle arm around her, and rested her weight against Itachi. She was right - it did not bother Itachi the same way it used to. Maybe it was Kuro's persistence, or the fact that she was so willing and even eager to welcome her into her home. But something tight in her chest had eased, in that time she spent lazing on the couch and doing nothing.

And while Kuro was definitely smug about it, she at least had the decency not to rub Itachi's face in it.

* * *

The Uchiha no longer met in the chamber beneath the Naka shrine. Not after it had been defiled, by their most promising daughter. Now, they met in Uchiha Tetsu's teahouse - the largest one in the Compound. It had been Uchiha Akira's, but now it had passed to her grandson. Uchiha Tetsu was still seventeen, and a chuunin.

It wasn't that he was a lazy worker, or even that much of a fool. He was just a seventeen-year-old boy who'd spent most of his life under the shadow of his formidable grandmother, who ran the place. His father, grandmother, and two uncles were dead. All of them would have had ownership of the shop before him.

So while he was a passable server, he wasn't much of a cook, and much of the administration of the tea shop was lost on him. But it was an Uchiha place, and there was a certain amount of pride in doing things the Uchiha way, nowadays.

Shisui sipped at his tea. He wasn't going to try any of the actual food. He didn't really trust Tetsu's ability not to fuck that up.

That Uchiha pride showed in Tetsu serving tea that he wasn't any good at. In Uchiha Izumi, who was frail and could barely keep her sharingan on for a minute and yet was a rising star in the Police Force. In Mikoto, who stubbornly trained long days in order to come out of a thirteen-year retirement.

In Sasuke, who had taken to the Uchiha orphanage in a way that no one could have quite predicted. He was almost universally adored by the kids there, even more than Shisui himself was.

Shisui was proud of the kid.

And he - well, he had barely enough time to collapse onto his bed for a few hours sleep, a shower, and some food before he was back in his uniform again, on another mission.

Even now, he couldn't help but slump, back, leaning on his hand. He was eager to get started - he wanted a nap. But no, there were  _meetings_  - ostensibly about the leadership of the clan, but whoever ended up leading would decide the future of the Uchiha. A meeting about the leadership of the clan  _was_ a meeting about the future of it.

Uchiha Hayate stood, and declared, "We need to leave the village. It is entirely clear that they do not hold for us the proper reverence that they should. In fact, we are doing ourselves a disservice, by accepting the meaningless task of policing the village."

He was a thin, leonin man who'd come to head up the Police Force in the wake of the Massacre. He was cold, and shrewd, and not much of a fighter, but clever enough to find himself on top after the turmoil of that night, months ago.

"It is not meaningless," Uchiha Osamu, the stubborn old turtle, said, gently.

"It is!" Hayate insisted. "It is meaningless, when we only have the authority to police Konoha, not Fire Country itself. Who are we policing? Our fellow shinobi, and those who support them. And what does that do? Nothing but breed resentment for the Uchiha! The Leaf has no reason to trust us - we do not fight alongside them, we do not teach their children, and we are the instrument of their judgement. The ANBU might be just as culpable, but Uchiha are not anonymous."

"And that's a reason to just  _leave_?" Uchiha Mikoto asked, tartly, from where she was sitting, sipping her tea, perfectly prim. "We go begging to the Cloud or the Rock, for scraps, when the Uchiha  _built_ this village?"

She was a strong shinobi, and had the pedigree for it, but she was a woman. Stupid, but that was the way things were done. But despite all of her rejection of Itachi, they were more alike than Shisui thought either of them wanted to admit; Mikoto's strategy was more or less to force everyone in the clan to accept her through sheer force of will, and damn whoever disagreed. Not unlike her daughter.

"Better to live in a place where we are valued, for our doujutsu, rather than cast aside, and relegated to the edges of the village. The sharingan is powerful, and desired, by all the villages. And if Uchiha Itachi is willing-"

"Or we could just, you know, change that," Shisui pointed out, interrupting. He couldn't stop himself. "The Hokage allowed other people to join the Police Force, didn't he? And you've gotten some volunteers? Just give it time." And Danzo was dead. Itachi had done that much, even if he didn't think going begging to her was a good idea.

Mikoto's face had gone pale, and stony. "The  _Hokage_ ," she spat the name, "is part of the problem. But leaving is not the answer. We must take our future, in our own hands, if we want to do anything but disgrace the Uchiha that have already died."

"Leaving the village," Uchiha Osamu said, slowly, "is not a small thing. It would be a big risk. Not something we can take back."

"It's foolish," Shisui put in. "We are no longer a clan of mostly shinobi. Face it. Itachi saw to that. We've more dead weight than we can carry. The old? The young? They're not the kind of people you can take to an unknown place without a guarantee of safety. What happens when the Tsuchikage kills everyone old enough to be a ninja and raises the rest as lapdogs of the Rock?"

"I would not run," Mikoto said. "Not when I have unfinished business here. And if any of you think that Itachi will help you, I will remind you that Itachi's  _help_  was the thing that got us into this mess in the first place."

"And what would you do, instead?" Hayate rejoined.

"It's simple." Mikoto set down her tea, folding her hands primly in her lap. "Sarutobi Hiruzen has no successor. I intend to become the Godaime."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We interrupt your regularly scheduled lighthearted, banter-filled, meandering buddy cop story with some sudden interjection of plot. Sorry it took so long to show up, but here it is!


	14. Humanity

Kuro led her away from the center of the town, out into the woods, up a ridge, across a long boardwalk. The trees were tall, and deciduous, and there was a riot of color - yellow and orange and red, resplendent in the morning autumn light. It was glorious.

The falls, beyond the woods were even more so. It was a semicircle of waterfall, like a panoramic, picturesque. Like a postcard. Itachi sort of wanted to send one to Sasuke.

They stepped onto a thin terrace, tiled and overgrown with moss. It offered a nice, soothing spot with the gentle murmur of the water in the background. A large crow perched on one of the railings, looking up as they approached. It shifted, and for a second, Itachi thought it had three legs, instead of two. And then the light skittered off the water, and she refocused on it. It only had two. Just a trick of the light.

"Hello, Mother," Kuro said, nodding.

"Little Kuro," the crow croaked, in return.

"I am Uchiha Itachi," she introduced. "Kuro's summoner."

"And you can call me Aoi," the crow said. "It is a pleasure, Itachi-san."

"Likewise, Aoi-sama."

"I hope Kuro is behaving." Aoi turned her beak to Kuro, still wearing Itachi's form.

"Of course," Itachi agreed. "I have no complaints."

"I doubt that." The crow clicked her beak. "But that is not why you came. You want something, or else you would not have brought your summoner. Speak."

"I…" Itachi hated this sort of thing - admitting her own weakness. "My chakra is…" It was hard to explain. "I was changed, by a malicious spirit of chakra. As far as I can tell, he sabotaged an operation with foreign DNA that has fundamentally changed my chakra system, and possessed me for a time. That caused… changes, to my chakra.

"I don't truly know how any of this works, but I have abilities, focused through the eye in my forehead. It allows me to cast genjutsu, use a unique space-time ninjutsu, and absorb the chakra of others. But it comes at a price - I went for almost four weeks without taking another's chakra, and mine became unstable, unusable. And when I was pressed, I lost my form, and all control of myself."

Itachi paused, and looked down at her feet. "I slaughtered an entire town of civilians, and the team that had come to claim the sharingan. That, if nothing else, is our reasoning - I need to control this strange power, before it controls me. Please, Aoi-sama."

"And of course, my foolish child suggested that the power of senjutsu was the answer to your problems."

Itachi looked up, and saw that the crow was watching her, with stern eyes.

"If the problem is with chakra," Kuro argued, "then that makes sense. Using natural chakra can provide the influx Itachi needs."

"And yet, natural chakra is dangerous," Aoi replied, tartly. "So dangerous, in fact, that if not properly balanced, it can turn a user to stone. So how, exactly, do you think that this can solve any more problems than it creates?"

"None of us know how this works, Mother," Kuro argued, right back, flapping up to the rusted iron railing, right next to the other crow. "No one. Not even Grandfather himself. And Itachi is my summoner. If I can help her, I would like to try to."

"Your summoner who ignored our ways? Who you were so willing to complain about?"

"Who is still young," Kuro replied, flapping her wings in agitation. "We have come to an agreement. She has apologized."

Aoi clicked her beak, sticking her beak out in a human-like fashion. "And yet, I refuse. Itachi-san. You are not ready."

"Not… ready?" Itachi asked.

"There are many things that one need for the Sage Arts. The least of these is knowledge of the self. You admit that you do not know what you are anymore. How can you seek enlightenment, of the higher mysteries of chakra, when you do not know these things?" The crow leaned up, puffing herself up. "Answer me this, at least: are you still human?"

"Still human?" Itachi asked. "Of…" She had almost answered, 'of course,' but something about the way the question was asked struck something, deep inside of her.

Could she say that she was? An uncomfortable kind of doubt leaked into her. She was so far from what she had been, when she'd left the village. Her form was no longer rigid. Yes, now, she had the form of a human, but it had vanished so quickly, and returned just as fast. And the way the old crow had spoken of Kaguya, as if what she had been was truly different…

Huh. What was she? Was she more like the bijuu, now? A yokai, returned from the underworld, come to roam the human realm? The cave where Zetsu had taken her felt it could have been, at least.

Suddenly, her thoughts about looking like a demon, months ago, in River Country, no longer seemed so amusing.

Was she even Sasuke's sister anymore? She could no longer claim to be Fugaku's daughter: her kunai in his throat had seen to that. She was no longer Mikoto's child, either: her mother did not want her.

"I understand," she said, slowly. "Thank you, Aoi-sama, for your wisdom."

"Tch." The crow clicked its beak. "I say this not to undermine you, summoner. You are my summoner, as much as you are Kuro's. I say this because you need to hear it. It is no small thing, what you ask."

Itachi bowed, low. "I will think on this."

"Itachi-" Kuro started, but she did not wish to hear.

"She's right," Itachi said, firmly. "I can't claim to know who or what I am anymore. I thought this might help, but I only have more questions, the more answers I find."

"But we should at least measure the ability that comes from your Mangekyo, no?" Kuro pointed out.

"Oh?" Aoi asked. "Explain."

"My eyes have a linked ability - one that lets me see natural chakra, and one that lets me manipulate it," she explained.

"Ah. So, why ask for training?"

Itachi shrugged. "I don't understand it. Maybe there's more to it. It's just chakra to me. I doubt a shortcut is any substitute for sage training."

Aoi let out a croaky laugh. "Ironic. There are no true shortcuts to this training. Many find their own path. Many paths differ. Who is to say what is a substitute and what is not?"

"But you just said that I needed to know myself, didn't you?" Itachi asked. "That seems like a wise master thing to say."

The crow fluttered her wings. "Ah, but it is, is it not? I'm sorry to shatter the mystery, but your own path requires, at the least, a mastery of self."

"I understand. I shall meditate on this."

"Ah," Aoi interrupted. "If you have it, let me see it. Maybe we will get lucky, and this will fix your problem on its own."

"Yes, Aoi-sama." She frowned, and concentrated. The Mangekyo twinged. The feeling was reassuringly familiar, and she summoned the tug of chakra.

It started slow, at first, barely a trickle. Itachi waited, Aoi watched, and Kuro shuffled. The trickle became a steady stream.

But instead of feeling better, more powerful, like she had that fateful night when she'd killed Danzo, she felt… dizzy. The world spun, as she gathered more chakra.

She found herself sitting on the ground, roughly. "I'm not feeling so well."

"Stop," Aoi commanded. Itachi did so, unthinking. The feeling didn't lessen, but it stopped getting worse. "What are your symptoms?"

"Dizziness. Nausea."

"Is Itachi… allergic?" Kuro asked, wonderlingly.

She tried not to think about anything, as the world kept spinning.

"It would appear so," Aoi replied, coolly. "How interesting. We've had many summoners, but I don't think I've seen this reaction before."

Itachi sat that way, head in her hands, until the feeling lessened, enough that she felt well enough to lift her head.

"Feeling any better?" Aoi asked, warmly.

"Yes," she admitted. "I wasn't allergic when I used it to break out of the binds that the Root shinobi put me in." She let that sit, for a while. "I can't say for certain whether it was so when I was in Lightning Country, because I didn't use it for longer than a minute, and I was focusing on other things."

There was really only one conclusion, then, wasn't there? Whatever Kaguya was, she was not some princess from foreign lands. Or the fruit of the god tree had done something that changed her, so much that she was not as human as she had once been.

And not, Itachi was less than human, as well.

She glanced up.

"Have you heard of anything that would make someone allergic to natural chakra?"

Aoi clicked her beak. "No. Natural chakra is everywhere, in everything. Something that would not interact well with it - only something that comes from outside of nature would fit."

Itachi huffed, and forced herself to smile. "I think we've answered the question of whether I'm still human, then."

"Oh?"

Itachi wanted to snarl. "I'm unnatural. Whatever the thing that Zetsu turned me into…" She glanced away, staring at the waterfall. "I'm no longer natural. It makes sense, doesn't it? Whatever Kaguya was - alien, demon, god, or something in between - that's something that I've become."

Kuro sighed. "You can't know that."

"Can't I?" Itachi asked, bitterly. "The point is moot, anyway, since I'm allergic to Sage Mode. So I won't be needing to learn to use it."

"That's true, but you don't know that being unable to use natural chakra means you are no longer human," Kuro pointed out.

"How else are we to define humanity? Come, Kuro, you wear my body. You must know that it is different. I mean, I'm allergic to one of my own kekkei genkai. I have at least four different people's DNA fused together in my system, one of whom is apparently some sort of mythical god, or demon. Or both." She paused, glancing at her hands. "Calling me something other than human isn't wrong, I think."

"So what?" Aoi cut in.

Itachi looked up, frowning. "So what?"

"So what if you aren't human? Does it matter? I am not human. Kuro is not, either."

She didn't really have a great response to that. "I don't know. But can I be Sasuke's sister, if I am something else?"

"That's for you and your brother to decide," the crow responded, softly.

"Yeah," she agreed.

Aoi cleared her throat. "Little Kuro, maybe it would be best if we let Itachi-san think on this. Come, tell your mother of what you have been doing."

Kuro bobbed up and down. "Yes, mother."

Aoi inclined her head to Itachi, and she took it for the dismissal it was.

She had many things to think about.

* * *

Itachi eyed the thin man, leaning against the bar. "Ichigo-san?" The weather was cold, now, and the fire was warm, roaring. Itachi welcomed it.

"Yeah? Who's asking?"

Finding missions as a missing-nin was a far cry from going to the mission desk, and picking one up. For most people, it was simply easier to just go to the nearest ninja village. But for certain clients, a village wasn't an option. They existed to protect their own interests, after all. Nobles, or criminals, or simply shady businessmen.

Or really, anyone desperate enough to risk a cheaper price for the risk of betrayal.

It was more common than she'd thought. Common enough that there was an underground network that operated in nearly every shinobi country. Common enough that she could walk into a bar, drop the right passcode, and find a mission with little to no effort - despite the price on her head.

"Saori," she introduced herself, fingering her hitai-ate. "Looking for work."

He smiled, beckoning her to follow. "Sure, kid. A little young for this kind of life, ne?"

Itachi found herself a little bit touched, by that. He wasn't condescending about it. It seemed more like honest concern, than anything else. She followed him into a back office, where he stopped, behind a desk. It was cramped, and filled with junk, but the desk was piled with scrolls.

"Aa, old man. But it's a bit late for cold feet, if you take my meaning. Give me a good mission if that'll help."

Ichigo, the fixer in this part of Hot Water, made a half-shrug. "What's your preference, then?"

"Something with combat," she advised, leaning against the wall. "Not worried about pay."

"Well," he replied. "Let's see…" He paused, looking her over, before he went back to the assortment of paper on his desk. "Combat, huh?"

She smiled, slightly, and folded her fingers. "If you're worried about me handling it, I'm pretty strong."

She needed the chakra, and, well, the itch hadn't quite gone away, yet. There was a little bit of tightness, in her, that needed relieving.

He chuckled, a little. "I don't doubt that." His eyes lingered on her third eye. "Well, Saori-san, how do you feel about… hmm, some bandits, out on the borders between Fire and Hot Water. Locals can't afford the prices from Konoha, so it's been sitting in my inbox for a while."

"Sure," she agreed. "Sounds good."

He handed over a scroll, and she took it. "Thanks, Ichigo-san."

"See you 'round."

* * *

Itachi ducked a blow from a bandit, ripping a wide slash through his stomach with a swipe of her claws. He let out a cry, and crumpled. Weak. These bandits were, well, civilians with very little actual military training and unable to tap into their chakra.

They might as well be standing still, to someone without her Sharingan on. She'd made that choice - she was wearing her headband over the third eye, and her other two were the cool black of her father's natural shade.

She didn't need any tricks to kill bandits. Not like this.

Next to her, Kuro let out a whoop as she hacked another bandit apart with the Kubikiribocho. She was having fun, at least.

But Itachi needed to eat. That was why she was here in these woods, after all, even in the dead of winter. A leap took her forward, landing on the shoulders of a fleeing man, and biting down on his throat, with her sharp fangs.

The best part? As she pumped venom into his bloodstream, she took his chakra, devouring it whole. It was sickly-sweet, like blood flavored candy, and she swallowed even as she drank as deep as she could.

He stumbled, legs boneless, and Itachi let go, reluctantly. It felt like there were a few dregs of his chakra left, but she turned her attention to the rest of the bandits. There was a large, imposing man, who'd stood, emerging from a cave and roaring out a challenge for all to hear. The cave was backlit, with a warm, roaring fire, and she could tell it was where the bandits had hidden out, for warmth. Pickings must have been slim, this deep into winter.

He was huge, ox-like, with a strange bladed thing that looked more like a hunk of metal welded to a handle than a sword.

Itachi liked him immediately. He seemed… juicy, and she'd had the itch, again. She'd kept thinking about it, thoughts tumbling over and over to return to the same thing. Wouldn't it be nice…

But she glanced over at Kuro, and wondered. Either way… Itachi darted forward, and the bandit leader brought up his massive, ugly sword. She didn't bother with subtlety. She wanted to see him bleed. Itachi dove at him, one hand pushing away his sword with an iron-hard grip, eyes flashing into the sharingan. A genjutsu of her own devising used to incapacitate people during T&I later, and he was slumped, trembling and whimpering.

There was something that felt very wrong about this mission. Not in the sense that it was a trap, or anything, but in the sense that it had languished for weeks because the owners couldn't afford a mission. It had taken her all of five minutes to stop these bandits. Somehow, Konoha should have been able to handle this.

Of course, Konoha needed some sort of motivation to fix the problem, but ninjas should have some kind of imperative to make things better for the average person. They shouldn't just exist to serve their own interests - or the interests of the wealthy and powerful.

Maybe she'd bring that up to Obito, in his new world.

She glanced around. The clearing was mostly empty, with only one last foolish, or perhaps very brave man still charging her.

A quick Shinra Tensei turned him into a red smear on the snow, and then she was turning her attention back to her prize.

The man was eyeing the thick stakes pierced through his hands and knees, visible only to him and Itachi. He was splayed out, like a tray of takoyaki, and Itachi savored the feeling, for a moment, as his pain spiked. She'd originally wanted to keep him under the Mugen Tsukuyomi, but now that she thought about it…

The faintest stirrings of that peculiar kind of desire tickled at her. Wouldn't it be nice and relaxing to let loose? She'd not had a good time in a rather long time, after all. She'd sort of thought she was over it, but it had been a very stressful month, and her time relaxing with Kuro and her visit to Karuizawa weren't quite the solution she'd hoped for.

She let him stay, for a moment. Maybe she could afford to let loose, once she found a good target.

Itachi glanced around. Everyone else was rather dead, or currently dying of venom. One of the younger bandits had fled, early, and she remembered the little path down the forest he'd rced. Kuro probably hadn't caught him.

She dropped into a shunshin, and retraced the steps, until she found him, covered in sweat and sprinting along the deserted path. The stillness of the forest leant a certain oddity to his flushed red face, his sharp pants. Itachi was not winded, not quite so, and she tripped him, with an easy motion.

He went sprawling, face-first into a nearby frozen-over stream, and she dragged him off the shattered ice. It didn't seem like he injured himself severely from a cursory inspection, at least. He had a wide-eyed moment of pure panic before she put him under.

"Mugen Tsukuyomi."

She left him there, in the hollow of a tree root, bundled against the cold in an igloo of snow, feeling the chakra pulse in time with her heartbeat. Hopefully a decent solution to her problem, if it worked out.

She returned to the clearing, finally dropping the genjutsu on the large bandit. He panted, short of breath, and stared at his hands. The wind picked up, and rustled through the trees - the skeletal branches rattled.

Itachi had been feeling stressed, lately. She hadn't had her usual outlets. The work at T&I, where she was allowed to be a state-sanctioned monster. Their little pet torturer, for use on… certain targets. Ones that Konoha wanted to talk. In her head, she knew that torture wasn't necessarily effective on people.

She didn't really care. And she knew, too, that sometimes Ibiki had just unleashed her on targets that weren't going to be questioned, just browsed over by a Yamanaka. The official reason he gave was that she 'softened them up for the mental intrusion,' but everyone knew that it did no such thing.

And, well, maybe she'd been missing it. And there was no one here to catch her and scold her and make her feel awful for it.

It was really too bad that her fans were broken. She was really missing them. The lethal venom in her fingernails meant that those weren't useful, either. Which meant, well. Kunai weren't really the thing for it. Impractical.

She drew her newest implement - stolen off the corpse of one of the Konoha hunter-nin that'd come and cornered her in that hot spring. A long knife, really, a tanto, with a gorgeous blue and white laquer wave design on the hilt.

The bandit man stared up at her, silent, trembling slightly.

She didn't speak. She didn't need to. He understood. Say what you would about the man - he might have been a scum-sucking bandit that preyed upon innocent people, but he didn't flinch away from this.

* * *

The girl stepped out of the blizzard. It was unusually thick, at this time - most of the village was in - it wasn't a big place, but you couldn't get much work done, if you couldn't see anything, and the snow was blanketing everything.

The snow wasn't common, so it was a little bit unusual, to be stuck inside. Mariko was a bit bored, so she was looking out the window, and saw the girl. She strode out of the swirling clouds of white, like some sort of monster. Mariko thought the horns, in particular, were rather cool, even if all the stories said that only yokai had horns.

It was obviously one of those ninja things - teenage girls didn't usually saunter around like that, dressed all fancy and carrying knives. As the girl moved closer, her thoughts were only confirmed - the hitai-ate was sort of a giveaway. Some funky bloodline, or something.

Maybe she was a demon ninja, or something.

The girl came up and stopped, keeping one hand behind her back. "Hello, Window-san," she said, politely. The snow had accumulated on her hair, and bunched up around the brown horns. "I was hoping to find the leader of this village."

Mariko frowned. "We don't really have a head." She tilted her head. "We have a few elders, but no, no one's really in charge."

The girl frowned. "I see. Hmm." She paused, rummaging in her very fancy and very expensive-looking kimono. She withdrew a scroll. "I took a mission from…" she paused, searching for the word. "Unusual channels."

"Oh?"

"I got it from a shady guy in a seedy bar," the girl explained. "But it was for bandits, who have been plaguing this village." She unrolled the scroll, awkwardly, with one hand, her other hidden behind her. The long nails didn't make it easy, but she managed. "The client's name is… Hanako?"

"My mother is named Hanako," Mariko pointed out.

A fanged smile. "Well, it might be her, then. Is she in?"

"Oh, yes. Let me get her."

"Please do."

Misako leaned back, and eyed her brother, who was sitting there, eyes glued to Robotman, playing on the tv. "Pipsqueak!"

"Go away, onee-chan."

"Hey, otouto, I'm bigger, so you have to listen to me. Go get mom."

He didn't move from the tv. "No! You do it!"

"If you don't, I'll sit on you."

Finally, he deigned to glare at her. "I'll fart," he warned.

"I'll hold my nose."

He sneered. "I'll tell mom."

"I want you to go get mom, so that would be a good thing for me," Misako informed him.

He huffed, and yelled, "MOOOOOM!" as loudly as he could.

"I mean go get her," Misako said, but her voice was swallowed up by his next shout.

"MOOOOOOOOOOM!"

Misako felt her face go red, as she turned back to the window. "She's being summoned," she said.

"Ah," the girl replied, lightly.

"Do you have siblings?" Misako asked, more out of things to say.

"A little brother," she said. "He sounds less annoying than yours." She quirked her lips. "I'm Saori, by the way."

"Misako. It's nice to meet you, Saori-san."

"Likewise, Misako-san."

Misako's mother stepped into the room - a short, round woman with an easy smile.

"What is it?" she asked, sharply.

"Misako said I had to." Traitor.

"A ninja is here for you. About a mission?" Misako asked.

Her mother's face tightened. "I see." She stepped to the window, glaring at Saori. "You're the shinobi?"

"I am," Saori said, smile gone. She held out the scroll. Misako's mother took it, and unfurled it. "I have confirmation, too, if you want it." Now she looked strange, almost awkward in the way she held herself.

"I do. Misako, look away."

Misako wasn't about to argue with her mother at this point, no matter how curious she was. She did. A second passed, and she risked a glance back. Saori was holding a severed head, her forearm splattered in blood.

Misako gasped, and her mother cuffed her around the head. "Stupid girl," she said. "I told you to look away."

"That's a head!" she insisted.

"It is," Saori agreed. "I'll bury it, if you're satisfied, Hanako-san."

"I am. The rest are taken care of, as well?"

"They won't be menacing you again," Saori promised.

"Good. Are you planning on leaving tonight?"

The girl glanced around, curiously. "I don't have any commitments. Why do you ask?"

"We plan to set out tomorrow. Come with us to Kyuugo, tomorrow, and I'll pay you for the journey."

Saori looked like that was the last thing she was expecting. "I…" she paused, hesitating. "How long would that take?"

"A week," Hanako said.

Saori rolled her neck, and shrugged. "Sure."

And that was how a ninja was staying with them, for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	15. An Invitation to Akatsuki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, thanks to my wonderful beta, [AlmostElectric](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmostElectric/pseuds/AlmostElectric). You should totally read her story, [Uzumaki](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2318864/chapters/5104787).

The table at Fugaku and Mikoto's home had been low, and they always sat on the floor, folded carefully into the proper positions. It was usually quiet, unless one of the parents decided to discuss Itachi's shinobi training, or her missions, or later, Sasuke's training.

The whole affair was, frankly, stuffy and sort of quiet. The few times that Shisui had come and had dinner with the rest of them had been very awkward, since he was very generally a loud person and really quite obnoxious, when the mood struck. Needless to say, they really only had him when Fugaku was away, for dinner.

It wasn't that she didn't love her father, but that he was a stiff, formal man and sometimes didn't understand the idea of a casual conversation. And if she'd even mentioned the idea of having dinner in front of the tv, she'd have been stared at, as if she just proposed they all parade down the streets with 'I love the Senju!' shirts on.

Fugaku had hated many things, only a few which eclipsed his distaste of Tsunade.

The civilian family she'd, on a whim, decided to stay the night with, however, ate in front of the tv, in what could charitably be considered organized chaos. And, the husband had cooked, even.

Mikoto had always done that. Itachi had made some assumptions about that, in the past, but she realized that Mikoto was, well, Mikoto, and she wasn't necessarily the kind of woman that would have let a man tell her what to do quite like that, husband or no, and maybe her position was more to the fact that she enjoyed it or wanted to make sure her kids had support, growing up, rather than sexism.

Which, Itachi had realized with all the force of a gut-punch, hadn't really been something Fugaku cared about. Hence his almost immediate acceptance of her gender. An admirable thing, she thought.

But watching, Itachi couldn't help be captivated as Misako leaned over and rapped her brother on the head, sharply. He squawked, wildly, and flailed his arms, in retaliation. Itachi noted absently that her parents would have scolded Sasuke for such a poor display, not for attacking in the first place, for such a poor technique. Even she would have shown him how to jab someone, in return.

But in this odd family of civilians, no one said anything about it. It was odd. Itachi felt odd, among them. Misako was friendly, if a little wary, but it was very clear that she thought being a ninja was The Coolest Thing Ever.

Hence the questions. Itachi could tell, just from the way that Misako turned to her, what she was going to ask.

"What's your brother like?" she asked.

Oh. Well. That wasn't quite it. Itachi fumbled her words, for a moment.

"He's a good boy," she said. "He loves training." Which… was about all she could say about him. She was a terrible sister, wasn't she? What did he like? "He likes tomatoes, too."

But Sasuke didn't really have any hobbies, other than looking up to her. At least, it didn't seem like he did. And, well, that was a while ago. Maybe he had different hobbies now.

She sure did. Although, some of her hobbies remained the same. So hopefully Sasuke's did too.

"That's nice," Misako said, smiling gently.

"He's still learning to be a ninja so he spends most of the day at school," Itachi pointed out, as if she had to defend herself. Which - she really shouldn't.

Something to think on, at least.

* * *

It happened suddenly, and then all at once. Itachi was walking alongside the wagon, as it rumbled through the snow, up the path alongside the cliff. The sun was high, and the river was creaky, frozen, below. The wind rustled through the canyon, but Itachi wasn't cold. Maybe she should have been, but the many-layer kimono that she'd taken to wearing was apparently suitable for all weather. Or she was just inhuman enough for little things like temperature not to matter.

On that subject, she definitely should have been burning up in the sun. She would have burned in sunlight like this before, particularly since it was reflected off the snow. The Uchiha had a pale complexion that burned very easily. But now, her bone-white skin didn't have a bit of red in it - it was as white as the snow around it. It was as if someone had dipped her in a bucket of paint.

At one point, she noticed it - a sudden rustling, a skittering in the air. She perked up, coming to attention, and then the woman was there, in front of her.

Itachi's first thought was that no one had quite managed to sneak up on her like this before. Granted, she'd concealed her third eye and turned off her dojutsu, and maybe that was the reason. But even then, her reflexes should have tipped her off.

Her second thought, less helpfully, was  _pretty_. The woman had a sharp face, not soft and delicate, but elegant and savage and hewn from jagged glass. She wasn't glitz, or glam, or flashy distractions, or knives hidden behind smooth silk.

No, this woman was power. Strength and speed without a need for subtlety. A shinobi instead of a kunoichi. Itachi had to admire that. For a long moment, that was all they did - stare at each other.

And then the words slipped from Itachi's traitorous mouth, before she could stop them.

"You have exquisite - um - technique…"

The woman raised one cool, unimpressed eyebrow. "Thank you."

Itachi felt like a river goblin, a grimy little slug that had just crawled its way out of the muck.

Misako popped her head out of the wagon. "Are we under attack?" she asked, blearily.

"No," Itachi said. Misako shrugged, and withdrew, even if she was still watching, over the edge, The comb she'd given Itachi did mesh very well with her hair, and kept the length contained. It was red, with a white flower pattern. A poor fit for the merchant's daughter, but a decent fit for Itachi. It was a bit obvious a ploy, but Itachi was willing enough to sell her friendship for a comb.

"Uchiha Itachi," the woman pronounced, carefully. She was covered head to toe in an Akatsuki cloak, except for her very fashionable shoes. "You are her, yes?"

"I am." Might be news to her clients, but Itachi didn't know how much she paid attention to ninja stuff. Uchiha Itachi was almost certainly famous in many circles.

"Did you kill two members of Akatsuki in the Land of Lightning, five weeks ago?"

"I did."

The woman pursed her lips. "I'm here to offer you a position as their replacement in our organization." Itachi was a little bit relieved that it wasn't going to come to a fight.

"Madara-sama has already given me quite the spiel," Itachi said, baring her teeth. "I accept, of course."

Konan, however, didn't so much as blink at Itachi's dramatics. "Good."

"I do have a prior commitment, however," she explained, rapping a knuckle on the wood. "I said I'd escort these people to Kyuugo."

The woman, however, continued as if she had not spoken. "I am Konan. In our organization, you will answer to me or our leader, who you will refer to as Leader-sama. He will contact you through this." She held out a ring.

Itachi recognized it as the one that she took off of the swordsman with Kubikiribocho. It had a red jewel and a character: vermilion. She took it.

"It is to be worn on the right ring finger." Itachi noticed that Konan wore hers on her middle finger. "Leader-sama will contact you once the current mission is over."

"Won't be more than a week," Itachi promised.

Konan nodded.

And just like that, she melted away into paper. What an incredibly stylish jutsu.

Itachi was just a little bit in love.

* * *

The capital of Fire Country, Kyuugo, was large, for the Land of Fire - a few hundred thousand people, built on a hill above a river. The palace was a sprawling complex at the top of the hill, and most of the masses toiled down by the river.

Itachi left the caravan by the gates; she didn't mind Misako - the other girl was friendly, and interested in Itachi, but Itachi was too socially awkward to want to deal with her for longer than a few days. A week was pushing it - Itachi was a genius shinobi, a human experiment, and most importantly, a loner. Not exactly a normal human being. More than one conversation a day was too much.

So she skipped out, departing and promising to return, someday. She probably wouldn't get around to it, but Itachi didn't think it was that much of a problem. She wasn't truly worried about that.

Her ring hadn't twitched, in the last week, or so, so she hopped into the woods, tree-hopping away from Kyuugo. She didn't want to stay for long, so close to the Leaf's seat of power. Maybe it was worth visiting, while she had the chance.

Seeing Misako and her brother had made her think of such things. She wasn't immune to the thought. And she was so very close…

It couldn't hurt. Konoha certainly had no idea what they were doing, when it came to finding her. She turned south, hopping from treetop to treetop. She'd sort of missed travelling like this. It brought back memories of a more pleasant time, when she was still on missions with Katsu-sensei and Kane and Yuugao. Back when, even if her body issues were worse, there wasn't the weight of the massacre, and her status as a missing-nin.

The treeline stretched out before her, and she found herself looking forward to seeing Sasuke.

He would have grown. She didn't want to miss it.

* * *

_Go to Casino Gintama, in Tanzaku Gai. Your partner will meet you there. Ask for room Four. The challenge phrase is, 'What do the rains bring?' and your response will be, 'God's peace.'_

The message came, loud and thick in her ears, as she hopped through Fire Country. Itachi stopped. She was near Konoha, but still outside of the range of patrols, for the moment. Most of the patrols within Fire Country were the long patrols, around the border, and the much more frequent ones around Konoha itself. Those were every few hours, so Itachi had plenty of time to make it to Tanzaku Gai.

Annoying, that she would be saddled with a partner, but Obito had made it clear that there was plenty of time where they had time to themselves. So there would be time to creep back into Konoha, soon. She wasn't worried.

She hopped into a run, from there. Tanzaku Gai was far from the nicest place in Fire Country, so it made sense that the Akatsuki had pull there. Maybe she owed Obito an apology, if the Akatsuki were more closely associated with the yakuza than she thought.

The act of tree-running was more soothing than she'd expected. It was almost nice, to be able to fall into the familiar motions, letting her legs stretch and the gentle swells of chakra.

The miles loped by, and Itachi thought about the prospect of that - a partner. She sort of already had one; Obito. They'd worked pretty well together, the time they spent bounty hunting. It was comfortable, if nothing else. And she'd really rather like to work with him again. That was one of the downsides of speaking to Konan like that, she supposed. It wasn't like she could request him, since he was supposed to be the shadow leader.

Maybe, if she was lucky, she'd get Orochimaru. He had been pleasant, and he'd definitely not want to steal her body, this time, now that he had a superior one of his own. There was a real upside to that, she considered.

And the only other person she'd heard of, Hoshigaki Kisame. He sounded interesting, if nothing else. She expected she'd probably be able to get along with him, at least.

A few hours later, she wrapped herself up in a traveling cloak and concealed her hitai-ate. The slash through the Konoha symbol was enough, to tip off certain people this deep into Fire Country. There was bound to be at least one loyalist, and that alone might be enough to cause her some trouble if she was too obvious about it.

It left her third eye uncovered, but that was acceptable. She drew the floppy hood up, around her horns and her eye, and left her other eyes black.

And then she strode through town, breath puffing out in the chilly air. It was still the morning, so it wasn't very busy, now. Tanzaku Gai was definitely a town that was more active, the longer the day went on. Most of the tight streets were packed with wild neon signs, but they were dark, now, and the streets were empty of everything but refuse, from last night.

She was a little bit surprised that the casino was open. There were only a few older people, plucking away at the slot and pachinko machines, as she walked by. It was a little funny, in a spy sort of way. She was the spooky dark figure walking through a casino at eleven in the morning in a dark cloak, on no-doubt nefarious business.

And this feeling only intensified when she approached a thin-looking man in dark clothes with a tattoo on his neck, in front of Room Four.

He asked for the password, and Itachi gave it. He let her in, and she stepped into a low room, where the floor was tatami - interesting. She wasn't quite expecting that sort of traditional thing in a place like this. She took off her shoes, and divested herself of her cloak, stepping into the room.

There was Obito, lounging on the floor barefoot, looking like he didn't have a care in the world. He glanced up, wearing his orange mask with one hole, the swirly one, at her entrance. There was a kotatsu inside, warm-looking and he had a mug of what looked like tea. Itachi slipped in, under the blanket on the other side of him.

"Yo," he said, tilting his head.

"Hey," she greeted, warmly. "It's you, then."

He shrugged. "Might as well pull some of my own weight. Let Nagato realize that I'm actually sort of serious about this thing."

"Oh?" she asked.

"Well, it came as a bit of a shock to him that I changed my tune," he explained, leaning forward and pouring her tea, into a cup. "Explaining the Kotoamatsukami was probably not going to go over well, though."

"Yeah," she agreed, smirking. "So you're stuck with the peons. I was sort of hoping it'd be you. Or Orochimaru."

"He was Nagato's first choice," Obito commented, sipping tea through his mask. He was cheating with Kamui, because he was a loser. "But I could list about a dozen reasons why that would have ended in disaster."

She huffed. "Rude."

"Forgive me if I'm not about to let two S-rank nin without consciences loose on the world, without supervision."

Itachi folded her arms, feeling a little bit indignant. "And here I was actually thinking I owed you an apology."

"An apology?" he asked. "You know what those are?"

"See, this is why you don't deserve one," she explained patiently, leaning forward, and sipping her tea. Light, and fruity. Not what she'd expected out of him.

"Fine," he grumbled. "What were you going to say?"

"I was just thinking that this meetup was very clandestine. Almost yakuza-like, one might say. And I said that the Akatsuki weren't yakuza-like at all. So, yeah."

He laughed, throwing his head back. "Yeah, almost like someone planned it that way."

"Did you set up this clandestine meet-up… for me?" she asked, picking up her tea again.

Obito laughed harder. "A-yup," he said.

Itachi felt, inexplicably, very flattered. "Thank you," she said, sincerely. "And since I'm now in your little club," she waggled a finger holding her ring, for emphasis, "it's officially, by both our definitions,  _not_ a boy-band."

"I'm glad you think so," he said, dryly. "Speaking of which, I did get you something." And he pulled a pile of clothing out of his Kamui. It landed, awkwardly, on the tatami. "That outfit might be a bit… you might want a change of clothes, is all."

"That's very kind of you," she admitted. "As nice as this kimono is, it's still an iro muji. Too fancy to be doing ninja things in by far. And you're right, I was sort of getting sick of it."

"Isn't it a funeral kimono?" he asked, sipping his tea again.

"I was pretty sure it's just black," she said, mildly. "As strange as that sounds." She leaned forward, and picked up the bundle. On top was a very familiar cloak, sized for her. At thirteen she was much smaller than an adult.

Underneath, there was a pair of loose-fitting black pants and a similarly loose, kimono-style top, like a samurai would wear. They were made of warm cotton, and tucked underneath the cloak. A thin silk belt, some expensive-looking athletic underwear designed for shinobi and a fresh roll of bandages, for wrapping.

"Thanks," Itachi repeated. At this point, he'd been supplying her clothes for months, and thus, it wasn't that weird for him to buy her stuff like this. It was how he'd known her sizes. "I'm pretty excited about having a cool cloak like this. Makes me feel…"

She paused, grinning a little, " _Dangerous_."

Obito tipped his head back and laughed, loud and long and genuine. "You're such a nerd."

Itachi's face burned with shame. "Don't be mean. Now I feel completely uncool."

"That's because you are. I mean, Akatsuki isn't really all that cool. Everyone's a weirdo."

She folded her arms. "I dunno, Konan was pretty cool. Besides!" She pointed at him, remembering. "I have a bone to pick with you!"

"Oh?" he asked, sounding amused.

"You didn't tell me she was a stone-cold fox."

He stopped, cup raised halfway to his mouth, and stared. "What."

"Konan-san. I mean, I didn't know she'd be like that." Itachi grinned. "She was real pretty."

"...Are we talking about the same person?" Obito asked, seriously. "Tall, blue hair, orange eyes, creepy as hell?"

"I mean, that description sounded right until you said she was creepy! She's beautiful!"

"Itachi," Obito said, slowly, like she was very little. "Itachi. Konan  _is_ creepy. In fact, I find her about equally as creepy as her partner, Pein, who is a corpse walking around, puppeted by his best friend. Konan's totally alive, and not dead at all, and she's  _just as creepy as Pein_."

"I can't believe you're doing this to me," Itachi said, inexplicably betrayed. "Are you… gay? Or something? I mean, it's totally okay if you are, and I suppose Kakashi is pretty good-looking, but-"

"I'm not gay!" Obito protested. "You little brat!"

Itachi grinned, widely, letting her teeth show. "And Konan-san is pretty."

"Whatever you say, Itachi-chan." He turned his mask away. "Of all the people, it had to be  _her_."

She was feeling a little bit slighted, so she turned away, and gathered up the new clothes. "I'm going to change," she declared, primly. "You can wait outside."

"Oh, is that how it is?" he asked. "What if I want to finish my tea?"

She considered it for a long moment, for deciding that he'd seen her naked before. Hell, he'd helped plan her body. It wasn't something he hadn't seen before.

She stood up and stepped away from the kotatsu, gathering chakra into her elbows, before reaching back and untying her obi. Most people wouldn't be able to untie it, knotted behind her back as it was, but Itachi had once invented a flexibility jutsu, and it came in handy now. It came undone, and she grasped it.

"Oi, brat, what are you doing?"

"You wanted to finish your tea," she pointed out, mildly, "and it's nothing you've not seen before. We are going to be partners, right? Might as well get used to it."

He let out a long sigh, and she could tell he was rolling his eyes. "I'm calling your bluff."

"Go on." And she emptied her pockets, laying scrolls and kunai and other assorted oddments, her stolen tanto, onto the surface of the kotatsu. A few moments later, and she was sealing her worn kimono and dirty clothes into separate scrolls, and Obito was determinedly sipping his tea, staring away, at a painting of a sakura tree, in blossom, the pale sun behind it a contrast in pinks and oranges.

She donned the new clothing quickly - the pants had satisfyingly deep pockets, and the top a few satisfying places to hide things, near her stomach, and the robe was just full of material. It even had inner pockets, and the material was thick and rich. Warm enough for the winter weather, for sure, although she thought that summers in Fire Country and Wind Country might make it too much.

"I'm decent now," she declared. "I was planning on visiting Sasuke, on the way over. How would you feel about that?"

He shrugged, looking back at her. "If I can finish my tea first."

She relaxed back down, her legs folded, and picked up her tea again. "Sure."

* * *

They had dodged the outer patrol, easily, hopped quickly over the wall, and were in the forests surrounding the Uchiha Compound when a pair of ANBU showed up.

Itachi glanced up.

Three quick handseals, an uttered, "Watatsumi," and they were drowning, having not had the time to inhale a breath. To them, the entirety of Konoha was underwater, and the sun was gone, obscured by kilometers of water in front of them.

It was, as she thought, a bit of a nasty genjutsu. Itachi had actually spent a bunch of time underwater at the hot springs to develop it. She couldn't exactly simulate the sensation of being underwater that deep, because the pressure was likely to kill a person without protective equipment, but learning the intricacies of being underwater was easy enough. And the sensation of having swallowed some, too.

Although that had required some time with Kuro, who'd been willing to rescue her from the hot springs when she'd inhaled too much water.

She was proud of it. There was a moment of horrified silence, when both ANBU choked, wildly. Itachi could not actually rob them of their breath, but she did have the ability to fool their brains into thinking that there was water, seeping into their lungs. That was sort of the point of the illusion - to make a situation that, upon first witnessing it, someone would panic instead of do the sensible thing.

And every second of panic she could create in even a seasoned ANBU was an eternity to two S-rank opponents. In something close to tandem, they both darted forward, and bashed their heads against the trees behind them, knocking them out cold. Itachi had killed too many Leaf ANBU already, after her disastrous hot springs adventure, and Obito was a pacifist, or as much of a pacifist as a dangerous missing-nin could be.

The ANBU slumped, and they lay them under a tree. Itachi glanced at Obito, his mask was staring down.

"They deviated from the pattern. This is concerning."

"It is," Itachi agreed. "Very concerning. But how could they have noticed us? The Leaf hasn't updated patrol routes in years. They must have known we were coming, somehow."

Obito glanced back at her. "Keep moving."

Itachi agreed.

Thirty seconds later, she was forced to slow down, because of the pitter-patter of footsteps rushing towards her. She whirled, glancing to the side, and had a brief, horrifying vision of a huge, blue-sandaled foot, flying towards her face.

"DYNAMIC! EEEEEEENTRY!"

And then the world went white.

**Author's Note:**

> Please, leave me some lovely comments! Also, if you'd like to talk more about this story, I made a discord. Feel free to bug me on there, if you have questions or want to leave feedback more personally. [Here's the link](http://discord.gg/brR55CP)


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